I had a deep conversation today
I had a deep conversation today in a hot tub
The steam muffled my voice a bit
But my voice still bounced off the wooden walls
My voice cracked and choked but not because of the chlorine mist
My eyes began too fill with tears hotter than the water I sat floating in
I asked out loud I’m not crazy right?
No my voice quivered in response
I was glad there was no one else in the room to hear it too.
At least I’m a good listener

I’m so sick
In the head
I’m so very sick
****

When will I be able to stop fearing that the people who “love” me will **** me

You’re left with just your dreams now kid

Sweating, breathing, silent screaming
Shaking, crosses, mixed love making
Kisses, crying, forced good-bying
Late night terror, morning dream
Guardian angel whispers in my ear
I'm screaming so loud, no one can hear
One more prayer, one more look
Look at my own heart I've took
I've thrown it into jail you see,
To save me from questioning eternity

The temperature hastily drops
Wind blowing, rain streaming
I woke up late this morning
The sky's been plastered

I walk meagerly to class
This day will be the shortest.