I'll give up being able to control my thoughts
I never like them anyways

Remind me again of how hard it's going to be
To never know love again

I can't help but stare at her arms
And she knows I do
What's your story?
And I think I'll take her up
On the offer

I looked up the number, it's saved on my phone
And I let the time pass all away
Then when I muster my strength up to call
They have already closed for the day

I'm the kind of person...
Who scratches their crotch in public
I reach up and dig a ****** out whenever
If I gotta pick my nose, ****** I pick it
I pick up the clump of hair in the shower with my bare hands
If the food is good, I inhale it
I eat with intent, with no regard for being tidy
I belch in public and think it's funny
Sometimes I forget to wash my hands after I ****
My shoes smell real bad
I haven't washed my sheets since I started college
I shower every three to four days
I'm the kind of person who talks to myself
I laugh at my own jokes
One day I'm wearing a petite feminine dress
And the next I'm wearing a men's button up with baggy cargo pants
My aesthetic switches from ***** hippy, emo punk, to vintage princess
My mood changes from suicidal numb girl
To thinking I can fix the entire planet in a day
I'm the kind of person who neglects to tell people when something they are doing is bothering me
I am a people pleaser
I space out and stare at nothingness
Sometimes I won't shut up
While other times I won't talk for the whole day
I want to try every single type of ethic food in existence
My music taste varies as much as my clothing style does
I wish I could be a doctor, farmer, astronaut, fire fighter, photographer, and homeless at the same time
Nothing bothers me more than feeling unintelligent
I bite my nails in front of people when I'm uncomfortable
I *** in swimming pools
I don't like the idea of traditional dates
I want to be able to talk about poops and farts on the first date
I become quiet when I'm really angry and I never address the real issue
I am all of these things and more
And for the most part, I like it
I like it in all of its *****, gross, ****** up, complicated, diverseness.
Today is a good day.

There isn't a day that goes by when the voice doesn't tell me to **** myself

But I chose whether to listen.
I try to not pay it any attention.

I implanted into my body a parasite
scratch that
Parasites can be removed

I implanted into my body a virus
scratch that
Viruses can be treated

I developed my own mutation
A manipulation of my genetic code
A deformity that can be restrained
But not cured

I don't like food more than
I like the picture I still keep of myself
When my stomach was so wasted
It seems as if you could see my spine
From the front of me