I'm the kind of person...
Who scratches their crotch in public
I reach up and dig a ****** out whenever
If I gotta pick my nose, ****** I pick it
I pick up the clump of hair in the shower with my bare hands
If the food is good, I inhale it
I eat with intent, with no regard for being tidy
I belch in public and think it's funny
Sometimes I forget to wash my hands after I ****
My shoes smell real bad
I haven't washed my sheets since I started college
I shower every three to four days
I'm the kind of person who talks to myself
I laugh at my own jokes
One day I'm wearing a petite feminine dress
And the next I'm wearing a men's button up with baggy cargo pants
My aesthetic switches from ***** hippy, emo punk, to vintage princess
My mood changes from suicidal numb girl
To thinking I can fix the entire planet in a day
I'm the kind of person who neglects to tell people when something they are doing is bothering me
I am a people pleaser
I space out and stare at nothingness
Sometimes I won't shut up
While other times I won't talk for the whole day
I want to try every single type of ethic food in existence
My music taste varies as much as my clothing style does
I wish I could be a doctor, farmer, astronaut, fire fighter, photographer, and homeless at the same time
Nothing bothers me more than feeling unintelligent
I bite my nails in front of people when I'm uncomfortable
I *** in swimming pools
I don't like the idea of traditional dates
I want to be able to talk about poops and farts on the first date
I become quiet when I'm really angry and I never address the real issue
I am all of these things and more
And for the most part, I like it
I like it in all of its *****, gross, ****** up, complicated, diverseness.
Today is a good day.

There isn't a day that goes by when the voice doesn't tell me to **** myself

But I chose whether to listen.
I try to not pay it any attention.

I implanted into my body a parasite
scratch that
Parasites can be removed

I implanted into my body a virus
scratch that
Viruses can be treated

I developed my own mutation
A manipulation of my genetic code
A deformity that can be restrained
But not cured

I don't like food more than
I like the picture I still keep of myself
When my stomach was so wasted
It seems as if you could see my spine
From the front of me

I like that when I'm up high I can see the city lights. The lights of downtown. They are symbolic lights, so distant. They remind me of my aspirations in life. They stand tall in the distance and beckon me to push forward.

Except recently the lights don't seem as strong. They flicker faintly and bleed into the blackness of night. So it's just me up here. Straining to see the skyline, but ultimately it just fades quicker.

It's nights like these when I worry if one day I'll be up here like this, staring desperately to the city, only to find the lights have faded completely. Leaving behind nothing but empty blackness.

It's like when your shoe is wet on a basketball court
You place all this pressure on your shoe and it skids just a little

She wraps herself in overcast skies
And buries her head in the mist
All of the vapor can't see that she cries
And they drown her to sleep with a kiss

Lost in the blanket of cloud she grows cold
Her warmth washed away in the rain
No thunder, no lightening, no sun, and no sound
A body is all that remains

I'm letting myself go
I eat like I am starving
I push the gym off to "study"
Hip bones being enveloped
By this self hatred
Spilling over my pants
I curse and scream
But the next minute I'm swallowing