Vow's were said. His finger's crossed.

Popping pills is not my thing
Let me rephrase that
Popping pills can't be my thing

I cannot tell you what I do or how I feel anymore
I won't let myself be the root for pain or stress

I refuse to be the antagonist in your story
Better me to be an unmentioned character

This feels funny
But it's better
Than feeling depressed

I don't want people to think I'm being selfish
I feel like I don't have much left
Almost all of my willpower is gone
I just want to be free I just want to be happy
I just want to stop feeling like I'm dragging a huge thousand pound weight behind me
Even breathing feels weighted
Everything feels heavy and I feel sick
I'm scared I'll always be like this
How could I live if I was?
And do I want to find out?
What is the point?
My hope, my drive, my passion has fizzled out
And all that's left is me
What if it never works out?
What if I'm never free in this world?
The only holding me back for now
Is the thought that people will call me selfish
For taking my own life
And the last thing is want to be remembered by is that word.

When a world that once had color
Fades to white and grey and black...
When tomorrow terrifies you
But you'll die if you look back.