Empty muskets
Breathing life and piercing holes
Tasting metal in your throat
Red rocks of oxidizing ore
The dirt is already filled with it
Why does it need more?
Ares colors run deeper than gold
Blood moons in prophecies of old
Deep red of our veins coats the Earth
Leeching life into our hearts
From cries and screams to hollow weeps
Blood born from mothers to Earth.

In forgotten light came birth
In cries and screams
It came to be
A mother torn of the child she bore
No father offering a home
Life was already worn
It happens this way
A child born but forgotten
Cries and fingers high ignored
The child grows hard and old
Before knowing why it feels alone
Looking for why
Finding no answers in the world's eye
Until the day the whispers came
Speaking of love in a distant place.
The child goes searching,
For a place calling its name
Of family who never gave it away.

Empty nights
Followed by pleasure
When bodies crave another's embrace
To stave off loneliness like a plague,
Finding a moment among the hours
Days passing into years
A life built of memories in passing.

People having grown from children
But knowing none the wiser
Still in need of mothers and fathers
In a world unforgiving.
Operating amidst the layers
Life and love can be sold for a dollar
Hidden behind screens of mass expression
Are the delusions of our acceptance.

Still seeking meaning amid thorns
****** hands haven't shown anymore,
Wash the blood
Let the peroxide sting and foam.
These bodies demand attention
Forsake them and they'll trouble you till the grave calls you home.

Moments of meaning are all we seek
When the aching heart is answered
It grants sweet release
In pleasured moans or dying throes
Sounds of our loneliness escaping in the night
As the joker deals the game of life.

I was ten and you were fourteen
I thought you were the coolest thing.
Our families were close.
My father liked you and your father wasn't there.
Those were early days
Skaters were in and Green Day was sick.
I was a kid and probably bothered you
But you treated me like the younger sister you didn't have
And I worshiped you like any younger sibling would do.
You taught me to snowboard,
"Keep your toes up and I'll teach you how to jump."
You let me have some of your Rockstar
And I stayed up all night.
You'd make sure I was by your side
And if anyone got rough you'd push them out of the way.

My family moved away one day.
You'd visit but distance made it hard.
Age and struggles muddled it all.
I was fifteen when I saw the look on my father's face.
He said you died, the call came earlier that day.
Overdosed on stuff you took for ADHD.
They said it may have been a mistake
But deep down I know it wasn't.
You were smart and knew how that stuff worked.
You were in a rock and a hard place.
I felt the same when I was your age.
I can't snowboard to this day without thinking of you.
Playing Green Day on the CD player
And nodding our heads real cool.
Boulevard of Broken Dreams was written for you.
Things I associate with you feel like Deja vu.
David I still think of you.

Writing in the night
Marking this heart
With each layer
The marks are deeper
The screams are louder
And the darkness is thicker.
Sick or gifted?
Both speak of their brilliance.
Leaving a figure much different
Her face is calm and eyes cool
Her expression alludes to something cruel
She's grown up hard,
I worry she'll lose,
What's left of the child inside.
I pray none will cross her
For the darkness she exudes
Could crush even the strongest of virtues.

Prometheus brought the fire
Defied the gods so there may be light.
A titan strapped to cliffs
Tormented eternally for his gift.
I wonder if we hear his cries.
Have we made his suffering worthwhile?
Do his acts of defiance stand proud?
Or do his cries fall on deaf ears as we war and act with no love in our hearts?
Prometheus came
He lit us on a dark day
When gods feared what we would be.
An anthem has been written
It's sung by spirits in the fires of our souls.
He suffers for the fire he gave
Let's make sure it doesn't go cold.

I lost myself along the way
In the mirror a stranger stares at me
But everyone still calls me by name
I sit in reality's shade
Pondering the day
It's time I leave this place
To where I don't know
But it's too strange here
The sounds and colors aren't the same
I think today I'll make my escape

Just hold me tonight
Don't say a word
Or promise a thing
I don't believe such things anymore
It's dark and I'm shivering
From the battle inside
Just hold me tonight
Don't ask me anything
Let me be
All I need is for you to hold me
I'll do the rest
Just be by my side tonight.

It came about in the strangest way.
My heart sitting on the divide
Wondering why.
The fault was never in the stars
Ceasar is not better than me.
It was written this way
Three fates cutting strings.
Arts and wars
Walking through doors.
Death's wife sleeping in the night
It was written all before.

Whiskey fine
Brandy wine,
The former I shouldn't drink
The latter is just fine.
Brandy is warm and eases my throat when it aches,
Whiskey makes me question life,
Too much for my liking.
I'm a simple type,
I rarely drink sweet, fruity kinds.
I'll drink ***** as the Russians do,
One shot followed by a pickle or two.
But I do not drink much,
Just a taste.
Each time the bitter burning liquid touches my tongue,
It reminds me that I'm still here and I still have much to do.

A fair green brooke
A gentle place
Steep in cliffs and mountain hooks
Nestled down in a valley of little space
Sits a town
Old and new
With a sky of grey and fields of brown
The air is wet from dew
What a place
It almost feels like home
But it only has one road
Once you go you never leave
So I gaze from the hill
Wishing I could travel down
Knowing once I did that would be it for me.

Parallel lines
Never meant to touch and dare not cross
Stretching lonely into infinity
Perpendicular lines
Crossing at ninety degrees
A point on a graph, measured by x and y
Which are you?
Do you cross the line or stay to the side?
A mathematical certainty
A probability to me
Statistically not meant to be
Yet here we are
Playing the game of chance
Fifty-fifty is all we can say
It's logical
I've done the math
You and I were meant to cross paths

Turn halfway
You can't escape
An omen of yesterday
I've come today
To warn you it's past late
Turn around
Watch them struggle
An omen for today
I've come to say,
Death is coming clear the way.

A place time forgot
There are no clocks
Blinking and flashing lights abound
The exits are confusing signs
When outside it's no better
The heat will push you inside
In winter the promise of warmth will draw you away
It's never day or night
It's 24/7 all the time
You can risk and play
Or dine on delicacies from far away
A little money can buy you anything
In this land of many things
For every desire and disgrace
Come one come all
To our desert place.

A willow tree
Breathes and shakes
Speaking wisdom in its quakes
A child waits for it to speak
From a story she long awaits.
A willow grove
Listen to the leaves that blow
Whispers from the old,
A child waits,
For a story that she believes.

Say something sweet
To take the pain away
You drink tonight to forget
Just a moment of this life
But my blood isn't sweet
My heart doesn't skip a beat
I'll look you in the eye
I won't flinch or deny
I gaze at life in a strange way

I have a fear
Of something real
And something dear
No matter the lies I tell it's clear,
I hurt and so I fear,
A stranger who nears
It's love I fear.

I came into this world as refuse,
Loved by a few.
They clothed me in white
And told me to be obedient and true,
If I was perhaps God would remember me when it's through.

There are some things you should never do,
Break a child is one, someday I'll tell number two.
I say this now as one who knows,
I'm no longer little or innocent
But I won't lie and say
My heart doesn't still shiver
When I'm reminded I'm refuse.
Thrown away and shredded in white
I no longer suffice
It's bitter and untrue
But all those years of guilt and Truth
Have burdened me,
So at twenty-six I feel ninety-two.

I can't shake this burden,
I'm too scared what will happen if I do
So I smile and nod,
Saying all is well and how are you?
My white clothing is in shreds
But don't think I've forgotten how it wears.
If one thing they taught me it's how to punish myself.
I was born into this world as refuse,
Loved by a few
Perhaps one day I will too.

There is a man who lives on a corner
Where students live, right next to the practice fields.
He's older and a smoker
He stands on the corner everyday
At a four-way stop
Smoking one after another.
I've seen him in snow, bitter cold and sweltering hot days.
Always smoking
He's out all day it seems,
Watching the cars pass by
Pausing in confusion because they don't know how to obey a stop sign.
I think he must laugh sometimes
Watching the world pass by.
I've seen him for years but I've never known his name
He almost seems like an old friend sometimes
I pass by and see him there nearly every time
I always wonder why
What led him to a life of smoking all the time?
I know the answer I heard it one time,
A veteran who didn't come back alright,
people whisper in shame as they pass by.
But his eyes are a genuine kind.
He smokes, killing time.
I wonder if he's just waiting to die
But still I see him and he brings a smile to mind.
To the man on the corner, smoking all the time.

I write things that feel right
But often the memories don't line up
I wonder why
In dreams my life speaks
Of horrors and pleasant things
Gripping a rifle at the bottom of a hole
Buttoning a child's coat when she's cold
A secret life that isn't mine
Yet is just as real as tonight
I wonder why
These memories are in my mind
I write of many lives
And I'm starting to think all are mine.

I walked away
To a different night
To a different life
A dream of another time
If I'm alive how come I go?
If I die, will I come alive?
I walked away tonight,
Left this life
In the morning perhaps I'll return.

It comes by
Passing time
Telling stories of yesteryear
With a gleam in the eye
And scathing wit for the blind.

Look at life this way,
A simple lie told at night
To children who have never seen the light
And wonder what it must be like.

A wanderer once came
Speaking of foreign things
Perhaps the madness is true
And the watcher watches you.

Turned myself inside out
Like a bag,
Looking for something lost inside
Handed out all the spare change,
Threw away the wrappers,
And bits of paper once important before.
Found a few IOU's,
Stacked away from many days
I should cash them in
Give myself the time.
Getting a little worn,
Time to have some fun.

Hallowed wind
The storm begins
The windows creak
The timbers moan
As this house shelters alone.
Clouds blowing in,
Wintry snow falls slow
Waiting for the storm to blow.
Shaking the trees
Dusting the peaks.
Windy nights
Wrestles snow from its clouded home.

I saw the barren street,
Full of empty sound.
Children looking for some place to be,
With no one around.
Such a proud people once roaming free.
The marks you left on this land are clear.
I see it on the rocks, etched in stones.
A wisdom forgotten,
Of stars above and seasons long ago.
Now that's slipped into eternity,
But I still see the proud gleam
When you sing,
The chant a rhythmic pulse.
I feel the dance of your feet against the ground
And I know this empty land still calls you home.
I smile when I hear your drums
To a life buried but not gone.
I live not far though this is not my own.
This land knows and these mountains speak,
The red of this ground flows in you,
Children of the ground.

Languages die and the faces change
Names fall away and cultures die.
Once we worshiped gods,
Now that's changed.
When asked of the divine,
Our answer was simple on the divide.
Gods never die and men always do,
So raise your glasses of wine
And drink to our dying kind.
The mortal life is fading light,
Greeks and Romans knew this plight
As did many others who lived this life.
No matter your race or creed
Let's dance one last time.
We have the fate of dying,
Each and every time.
For the undying watch,
In grim murmurs
Of mortal life.

I shouldn't walk away
But it's tempting,
The burden doesn't seem worth the weight
How do I escape?
This cycle of my hate
Idealistic till my dying day
If only I could find passion for my life
It may be worth the wait.

Strung up for all to see
Hanging lifelessly
I see no reason to think you mighty.
It's one thing to ****
Another to hang it like a morbid trophy
No respect for the life it was,
Return it to the field and let it be
A beauty it once was even if you couldn't see.
Hanging corpses by the roadside
What have we become?
Or have we returned to the Romans of old?
Maybe some dumb kids with nothing better to do but chase a Coyote.
It hangs,
A sign we still have far to come
Before we can claim we are humanity.

Wish I could say it's been easy,
Some say it's been a long time coming.
Now I'm here and all I can do is stand,
Looking out to a horizon of emptiness.
An endless sea brushing against me,
Once it thrashed me against the rocks
I learned not to care.
It's been a long time
And this place seems like nowhere.
I've come this far on will alone,
Now I stand at the edge,
Watching my life go
Looking for a glimpse of hope
That I'm alright despite what's told.

If you could take it all away,
Would you?
Every regret and hurtful thing?

I look at them some days,
Finding them disgusting in every way,
But if I wash them away,
Scrub the pain till it's raw and fades,
I find myself staring at an empty space.
A bitter thing to find,
That your suffering was by design.
Leaving no choice but to make a place,
Build some sturdy shelves
And embrace the pain.

It makes you whole,
Defining you in little lines
Of how you love or hate,
If you can lose or find peace in simple things.
I'd keep them all,
Every hurtful thing.
Fill my shelves
So someday I can count how many times I fell to my knees,
A library of my deceit.
Written in books I'll feel complete,
That my life was a challenge and not once did I give up on the journey.

A soul who roams isn't home.
In dying throes we know,
What the darkness holds.
Close your eyes one last time,
And remember home.
My dearest friend,
I'll hold your hand as you go.
A fellow traveler I know,
This isn't what we call home,
But I enjoyed your company before you had to go.
I'll keep your memory safe with me,
Till I leave this place and journey home.

Built on a sunny day
Intended as a fortress
To keep the darkness away
But it faltered in the dead of night
The guards scattered as it went alight
They hollered and shouted
But nothing stopped the blaze
Not the coldest water or stormy rains
It smoldered and flamed
In the most spectacular way
A horrific beauty to see
As this castle burned with no relief.

On a dusky day it was built
Salvaged from skeletons and heaps
It crumbles at times
And the guards are always busy,
Minding its failing keeps
But none have trespassed
And the darkness stays away
This castle of ash has proved stronger in every way.

I saw a wound today,
For the first time it bothered me.
I've seen death,
I know the cuts,
To be made to free muscle from skin,
How could a little blood and flesh bother me today?
Have my eyes lost their hardness?
I know the feel of bone,
And all the names of its marks and holes.
Why did it bother me so?
I've seen the body as many never should.
Today maybe my soul finally understood,
And it made another's pain its own.

Whistle, breeze and blow
Full of words and promises
Some are sweet, others cold
Some sting and bite
Others are wise and old
Hear them all
But do not make them your own
Unless they sit right and speak to your soul
They often whistle, breeze and blow
But it doesn't always make it so.

This time I'm not afraid
Perhaps because I trust myself now,
I know I'll live if you leave.
The past taught me that bitter thing
But now I see,
I'm okay to be
As I always am and know I'll be
So I let myself fall in love with you.
Please be gentle with me
Because those cracks you think are beautiful,
Were once scars that bleed.

Do you think a shadow knows?
That it's just a shadow?
Given form by some matter and light?
I doubt so, but what do I know?
Perhaps the shadow is real,
And I'm the one who doesn't see,
The illusion of life lying to me,
Making me another shadow dancing on the wall, thinking I'm free.

I'm tired,
To my bones I think
Sleep doesn't fix,
What my soul emits
A tiredness so deep,
Time quits
I've lost all sense
As I bail this dying ship.