They warned this was not easy
Who you ask?
The voices in my head,
My demons of the dark.
I took the journey anyway
To a place within
Searching
And what I've found is I was never who I thought
The voices entreat me to be patient
And my demons comfort me when they see I've gone too far.
If I've come to a place where my demons comfort and pity me
Have I journeyed too far?
In my dark travels.
Perhaps I've always been a tortured soul and my demons never were.

I've been formally trained
Yes I've brewed some strange things
And I've dissected some things
I know where Frankenstein got his name
But the craft I practice I never learned
It's the purest of the trades
And it's stronger than any compound I've ever made
I've distilled it many times
Till it was pure
Just a drop is all you need
Stronger than any liquor
Trust me I could brew no ninety proof that could compete
Just a sip is all you need
A sip of the purest pain
Aged through the decades
Wouldn't my old professors be proud?
I think not
Only the Philosophers and Poets would nod their heads without doubt
The rest surely know I've abandoned all they taught me
A brilliant scientist I'll never be
But come to me when all is broken and gone away
I'll give you a taste of my brew
Perhaps I can still become a healer
I know the body but it is your soul that needs mending
So pull up a chair and sit on down
I once was a scientist but I've given it all away
For this pain that stretches through us all
Tell me what you think and I'll let you have a drink
We'll grieve together and it'll be okay.

My life doesn't look busy.
If you're outside looking in you probably wonder what I'm doing.
I know it's strange I'm exhausted.
The sleepless nights filled with dreams and restlessness.
Some days it feels like I've given too much.
I know I seem quiet but it's only because it's so loud in my head.
I know my life doesn't look like much.
But it's so full sometimes I have to disappear for a while.
Don't take it personal.
I just lose myself to these deep waters at times.
I won't always tell you these things, the words will fail me.
I know this isn't for all, I have lost people before this way.
So if you stick around I hope you'll see I'm not as lonely as I appear to be.

I wrote a story of something in my mind
It grew rather long and felt like pulling a thorn from my side
I know not from where it came or why it calls me home
But I gave it life and claim it mine
All the loves and losses
And the characters who live and die
It's a beautiful and frightening thing
To see a world and a people exist in your mind.