My thoughts are… painful
They make me feel like I am hopelessly lost
And always will be
They make me feel like I have something good
But it’ll disappear so soon
They make me feel like I will only ever be a disappointment
And I suffer every day

My thoughts keep me up at night
Regretting everything I did that day
Feel a burst of anger
And take my breath away
Tightening my chest
And letting the black consume my sight

My thoughts make me feel so alone at the same time as crowded
Screaming voices in my head
All telling me I’d be better off dead
Yet also deafening silence, hearing the one thing whispered clear
Broken, broken, broken

My thoughts…
Oh beauty they might be
But treacherous too
As they stretch me thin
And claw me apart

My dear thoughts and me.

The only thing I’ve always longed to be
Is someone special
But I’m not
I am the invisible girl
No one sees
All I’ve ever wanted to be
Is someone special
But I am extraordinarily plain at best
Weird at worst
Not someone worth mentioning
Not someone special

Ten words isn’t enough to describe you,
I’ve unsuccessfully tried

I dream of singing a love song with you
Good old duet style
You could pick the song
I don’t care
Just as long as it’s with you.

How is this even possible?
I have been so unhappy for so long
And then you show up
And somehow I can’t help but smile.

Today was bad
Every aspect
And then I saw you
And felt a smile stretch on my face
Not the fake kind that I use
When I think your problems are more important than mine
The real kind
The kind I can’t control
You were the happiness boost I needed
And it lasted all day

I’ve been told that I shouldn’t let my happiness
Depend on another person
Especially a person who could decide to leave
At any moment
But with you I can’t help it
With you it’s so easy
With you nothing is fake

I was told that my longing for full contentment
Will never be fully fulfilled
But you fill my happiness over the brim
And put this smile on my face.

You tell me I’m not depressed
I’m just resisting happiness