You tell me I’m not depressed
I’m just resisting happiness

Yeah my life *****
Pretty bad
But I guess I don't look at you enough

I need to appreciate you more
All the things you've done for me
I love you RBM

It’s weird to think that one moment you were here
And the next your not
I could always count on the fact that you were alive
Somewhere out there in the world
Even if I rarely saw you
And now you’re not
And I’m stretching any happiness that I have
To last longer than a few seconds
So there won’t be a lot of worry
But it’s getting harder
And my smile and laughter
Are getting thinner
I just want to be happy
But now I know that you’re not on this earth
So that’s pretty impossible.

I look in the mirror everyday
And say
'You are beautiful and amazing in every way'
To keep your mean thoughts at bay

And then I get to school, just like every other kid on the shelf
And I forget what I had already told myself

I see you
Hear you
Say I am not worth living space
And I smile
Because everyone thinks I don’t care
But inside
You ripped a hole

One day
I’ll look in the mirror
After hearing you yet again
And write on the glass
'Here’s your space back'
And put on the tight necklace
Hanging from the ceiling
Watching the light leave my eyes
Because I stopped trying to keep your mean thoughts at bay

343440000 seconds on this earth
Seems like  enough time to figure your life out
But here I am
Still lost

You’d think I’d be okay by now
But I’m still feeling broken
I feel like I’m the porcelain doll
That the creator just can’t repair

The rain comes down
In sprinkles
Pit pit pit
Riding my bike down the hill
Feeling the gentle droplets of rain
Smelling the fresh dew scent

The rain comes down
At a decent speed now
Pitter pitter pitter
Hanging my jacket on the rack
Shaking out my wet hair
Smelling the fresh dew scent

The rain comes down
Pouring now
Pitter pat pitter pat pitter pat
Opening the window
Grabbing new book
Smelling the fresh dew scent

The rain comes down
Hard and fast
Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter
Shutting the window as it gets to wet
Closing a finished book
Wishing for the smell of the fresh dew scent

The rain comes down
Flashes and booms overhead
Pitter patter flash boom pitter patter flash boom pitter patter flash boom
Hiding under the covers
Anxiety making its presence known
Trying to hold on to the smell of the fresh dew scent