When the heart feels broken

              Even the slightest crack

Will cause someone to yearn for one last breath

              Only one...

When people leave
When you're only a memory
When your pill bottle is empty
When love is no longer an emotion
When you're tired of feeling alone
Only damaged people with ever understand you

People see her smile
But not her eyes
People refuse to look at them
Because they don't care that her heart is ill
Or that her being within is damaged

I'm so used to being wounded

I don't think I'd be okay with being completely happy

I feel so alone...


            Like I drowned in emptiness

If tomorrow is like today there will be no tomorrow

When I'm sad I can't speak
So I write because it gives me hope

I'm not okay... But it's okay

Because when I put that blunt to my lips I'm okay

And when I put that blade to my wrist I'm okay

I'm enslaved within a dying fire
I can't feel the flames
But I can the hollowness under my skin
To admit I'm dying with it would be too hard
I can't cope with the fact it's breaking an already broken heart
So I'll go into a deep slumber and dream of a beating heart to save me

Sadness is a virus that attacks the human being within

Live life the way you want to
For there are monsters who will convince you otherwise
Remember you are fragile
And if you wait too long they'll break you

Drowning the sorrows of a crumbled heart
There sits a lonesome being
Moments of disasters stacked upon each other
There is now a building made of broken passion

But even then under all the chaos hope still flames
There is a fire of furriery that burns of strength and courage
The two keys to a better life
The two keys that will bring a being to an adventure to a happy life

I have completely destroyed the human being within me
I cannot be fixed
For I am now nothing but a monster

Before you fall in love with me
You should know I won't love you back
You'll spend every hour of everyday loving me and I won't return it
I'll kiss deeply and roughly and even ******* like never before
But love will not be found
For I have been broken by men
My love has been stolen from me
Please know it will never be found

Imagine a girl
With her heart and soul
In complete darkness


That girl is me

Is not real
For it isn't anything but an idea
Which humans have created in the mind
Forever painting it so they have something to look forward too
But in reality all you'll have is oxygen to keep you going

My broken heart is a river
That drowned the earth with my lonesome self

Pain makes me want to shoot myself to end it

I wrecked on my longboard yesterday
I know it sounds pathetic
People get hurt a lot worse skating than I have
But that moment when you fall
When you know you hit your head
Then stand up only to have your eye sight go black
And your hearing vanish
While your stomach turns
I have to say it was the scariest moment of my life
The funny thing is I got hurt showing off
Maybe I should just longboard because I love it
Not to prove I'm better than others

Friable- because I was easily broken into many pieces

Insecure- because I'm ashamed of myself

Nepenthe- because I need it to make me forget all my grief and suffering

E**rlebnisse- because I was forced to live through terrible experiences

My words do not match the dreadful truth that suffocates the human being within me

I'm sitting in the middle of the street
And it's as if no one can see me dying
My heart beats so slowly
And it's on the verge of completely stopping
Could you please drown out the voices attacking me?
The voices are dragging me under

I just want someone to see me
And all my broken pieces flooding the place I love
Can't you see me breaking?
No you can't and it's killing me more each day
Can't you see everything is gone?
No you can't and it's killing me more each day

I'm sitting in the middle of the street
And it's as if no one can see me dying
My heart beats so slowly
And it's on the verge of completely stopping
Could you please drown out the voices attacking me?
The voices are dragging me under

There's this poet who makes me smile
We are still sort of like strangers
I don't know his smile
Or the sound of his laugh
But I do know a simple hello in my inbox can brighten my day
It may not mean much to you
But I can't remember the last time I smiled
And my eyes smiled as well

Poetry is my voice when my lips deny my speech

It may sound pathetic
But that moment when I'm alone
Outside in the dark
With a longboard beneath my feet
And the wind blows through my hair
As I cruise down the pavement
I feel as if I'm flying
It's like everything just starts to get quiet
And I'm only aloud to appreciate that small moment of freedom

You never fail to disappoint me

Everyday you remind me that I hate you even more than I did the day before

Your a pathetic excuse for a father

          *and I will be nothing like you

Stars remind me of hope
It's like they are painted upon the sky each night just for me
And even though I know stars fall
It never seems like they really do
It seems as if they stay perfectly placed in a black mist
Like it's the one thing that's good and never goes away
The one happiness that does last forever

I wish things lasted forever
It ***** when I'm finally happy and then it ends..

I will crumble
I will fall
and I will not stand again
But I will see
I will hope
and I will fly to a better infinity

I can't sing
I can't dance
I can't play instruments
I can't play sports
I can't always do my best
And I can't be perfect

But I can make mistakes
I can forget to forgive
I can give up
I can be emotional
I can do wrong
and I can be imperfect

I'm burning in my own hell
Built of my own insanity

As I am writing this poem
I sit alone...
In a messy room upon a messy bed
I'm trying to write the emotions of my crumbled heart
And answer the questions I shouldn't have to ask myself

Whats wrong with me?
Why am I unloved?
Why do I push people away?
Why am I not enough?
Why am I the one who hurts?

I feel as if I'm the forgotten puzzle peice
The peice no one knows is missing
And that there can't even describe what I am feeling
My heart yearns to be noticed
But instead it's left to be bitter and cold

I feel the need to claw at my skin
Shovel tears out of my eyes
Maybe then I won't cry anymore
From all the loneliness
That seems to envelope my soul

Is it too much to ask to be loved?
If it is then I'll continue to sit here alone
In a messy room upon a messy bed
Trying to write the emotions of my crumbled heart
And answer the questions I shouldn't have to ask myself

He's the only thing that makes me want to live.