I see your shadow everywhere
I hear your voice repeated in my ears like an echo every day
I hear the move of your feet every Monday
I smell your perfume in every flower in the world
hallucination they say

As I watch the days role by
Every second every minute
I long for that blade.
I wish for that blade.
I have lust for that blade.
I didn’t cut today and I am proud.
But ever since then I feels so numb
I feel like I cant live without it.
And during that moment
When they got flushed down the toilet
I thought I could live without it
But I cant.
As I tear apart a razor just to get the blade.
I have realized how I have become accustomed to the feeling.
The feeling of want, lust
I have an addiction
An addiction to cutting
But I don’t want to break the promises i’ve made.
But I need it
Want it
Lust for it
I need the pain in my life
And as I take that blade
Swipe it across my skin
I feel a rush of adrenaline
I feel happy for once in my life
I become numb from the pain
Okay it time to go deeper
As the blood rushes from my skin
Down my arm
Of my skin into the sink
As I wash of the blade
And my arm
I feel happy
As if it was meant to be
As if this addiction has helped me
I feel sorry for breaking the promise
But happy for feeling a thing
But when the people find out
What I just did
They will become sorry
Sad and broken
Just as I am