Do you think you're better off alone?
When the ceiling of a ***** room
Is the night sky and stars and
You're getting comfortable in late night gloom.
.
I'd hate to go home alone but I never left my bed.
.
What's worth the air in your lungs today?
Is it the people you forgot to keep in touch with
Or the helpless yearning for something
Or the life you remember you used to miss.
.
I smoke cigarettes for the warmth in my lungs
And the burn in my throat
Like one thousand bright suns.
.
You could've been vulnerable and explained that
You'd **** for an hour with warm arms around you
And a listening ear, and ****** movies on Netflix
And that cry you refused to allow yourself to do.
.
If any less of a **** was given about your problems
The whole world would be constipated
Permanently.
.
I could've pretended awkward hands in the dead of night
Meant true love, meant something, meant, at least, mutual 'like'.
But denials' for people who don't think so much
And thinkings' my best ally and my worst crutch.
.
You should take hold of your life today, get up, do something
But this bed is safe, this bed is familiar for the ambition-less
And you're the only one who shat there
So sleep in it.
.
The futures' only bright for optimists and I'd never be accused of that.
.
When I'm getting tired of wrapping a lack of feeling
Into precise stanzas, lines, and rhymes
Maybe I'll figure out what I've been rambling on about
Stand up, and live my life.
.
Eenie, meanie, miney, mo
What the **** is life good for
I'll trade you a penny, you give me a dime
And we're all still running on borrowed time.
.
You're too tired to sleep today; three more and you won't wake up.
.
This is the end, I've picked out a date
Got everything planned out, no one's awake, no one can stop me.
Wait. I chickened out, missed it again, failed like the failure I am.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
.
Isolation's only fun for the people with nothing better to do.
.
There's no good way to end something that began badly.
I should remember that
It's a good line
Almost proverbial.