When my time

Blows out of my hands

Like the sands of some
Long-forgotten sea,

Scraping off ****** debris
Into dustdevils of misery

Poisoning my well-being,

I am afraid.




When my shine

Blots out my thinking

Like the hands of some
Long-forgotten deity,

Strangling my ill feelings,

I feel a little insane.

Empty empty empty empty
reflecting the given like the moon

Save me save me save me save me
Save me from the puppy love womb.

Lazy lazy lazy lazy
I'll get up, I promise, soon.

Maybe maybe maybe maybe
Maybe I'll get over you.

I made it again.


What do I win?


A number,         plus one.


Another trip 'round the sun.

Steer clear from real fear, escape into the maw of your denial

Wind howls and whispers
Earth cracks and whimpers
Water rises and falls back
Fire does it all

There is death for many in the past,

But not I;
I learned to turn upward the eye.


There is death for many in the grass,

But not I;
I climb the blade, and see far and wide.


There is death for many in the leaves,

But not I;
I breathe in their life to stay alive


There is death for many in the trees,

But not I;
I climb their length, and perceive from on high.


There is death for many in the water,

But not I;
I stay afloat and never capsize.


There is death for many where it's hotter,

But not I;
I bleed the waters from deep within my mind.


There is death for many in the teams,

But not I;
I grew silence, and I grew wise.


There is death for many in their dreams,

But not I;
My creations, all burn bright.


In the night,
In the dark wind,
Most send their intentions to the grave;
Slaves tied to the unspent sensations
Of being alive.

A word or two
For the sky so blue.

Just kidding, I lied,
That's four or five.

Despite the blood drawn,
In light of the stretching dawn
Souls are pulled under.

Under heaven, touch
the essence of who you are.
Under heaven, reach.

All that has bitten has let blood
All that has struck gives in
All that has held lets go
All that has feared now loves
All that was lost now given
All that was stopped now flows

You are the center
Through the heart it will enter
Saturn's task to the sun

'Right' being the word for
those things I never do.

'Right' being the word for
those things I choose to
ignore.





Write me up a story,
telling me about the world.

Something soft and cozy,
with a tinge of scorn.








Blinded by morning glory,
saved by a girl.

'Right' being the word for
those things I choose to
ignore.

Plants of life, shouting death





Illegible and clear

Pull the foliage;
Let the inner nodes get light.
Watch the plant prosper.

Damage the main line.
Like a twisted deity
Inspire instinct.

Care. Do not smother.
Give time and space to expand
The seed you planted.

Silent prayer heard,
The cosmic wheel catches gear
And away we go.

Something tells me you bought it

Something tells me you got it
with Money

Something tells me you Got it with
Something

Other than

your Mind

Something tells me you've bought it
And you're trying to buy mine.

What can I dream, outside of a memory?
What can I be, without you?

I'm seeing things, I'm going crazy, maybe.
Perhaps it's the grounds, breaking for daisies.
Flowers I sniff, for walking I'm too lazy.
Lounging around in a plot like a snake,

Serpentine the bush shake, laying low.
Nadir of suffering; dark night of the soul.
My will and my desire perpetually unfold.
Unwound so many ties, I'm getting the flow.

You
Precious little thing,
You'll die, stuck here
In this honey.

Oh,
Poor little thing.
You won't even
See it coming.





In your abandoned colony,
Your echo will mark tracks
Of these empty promises
You can never take back.

I steal.
I barter.
I trade.
I'm not martyr.
I gamble, and
With a sleight of hand,
I hope to win my promised land.

"You are gonna die,"
Creation signs in braille;
Sun for the blind eye.

There's this particular palette of feeling I lost, and now must be satisfied to watch dry.

Neither one can be too loud, no they can't let eachother know they're functioning.
Outside, there forms a crowd. You can't let them know you've been eating.

They both sit in silence,

Waiting.

Waiting on the other

to go.

I never knew a girl named June,
Never knew a girl named May.
The fourth of July was my baby's favorite holiday.
When explosions rocked the sky
With colors and festive flare,
And the smell of burning paper
Filled the nighttime air;
For her, this was the happiest time of the year.

I knew a girl with strawberry-colored hair.
I knew a girl who smelled like mustard.
I knew a girl with golden eyes.
I knew a girl who wanted to be a guy.
I knew a girl who invited me ovuh,
just to entice me by doing yoga.
I knew a girl who obviously had cats.
I knew a girl who thought lizards wanted her ***.
I knew a girl who let spiders crawl on her.
I knew a girl who is still a mystery.
I knew a girl who showed me great jazz,
but also showed me I'm terrible, generally.
...
I knew a girl with crooked teeth,
and a baby one, so little, so sweet.
I knew a girl with infinite kinds of laughs.
I knew a girl with a pinched ear.
I knew a girl who understood, and was, "art".
I knew a girl with long fingers.
I knew a girl who didn't give *****, ever.
I knew a girl who loved the beach,
and it seemed the sea salt dried up to meet her.
I knew a girl with poopshoots for eyes.
I knew a girl with all my inside jokes.
(oh garby, oh sorry, oh im not angry)
I knew a girl who was made for me.
I knew a girl who was made for me.

The terror begins when each foot,
falling in front of the other,
echoes eternity lost in waters
as shallow as the words
that first breathed the waves to motion.

The terror begins when you realize
there's no need to run;
You're walking slowly
but surely
towards the finish line.

I'm your fly
With all my eyes on your shadow
As you go about your business
Collecting me

Stuck mid-flight
You hold me in time and space
And this dusty corner
Becomes my world

And you hold me here
Hung from your remains
No one dare come save me
I am preserved

I threw my gun in your river.

The reason is rather moot.

I laid in bed, put it to my head,

Pulled the trigger; it didn't shoot.


I tried
drying it in the Sun and it withered.

Crumpled like sheets under an apathetic Sire.

I laid in bed, put it to my head.

Pulled-  the **** thing didn't fire.

Cans standing tall in a crowd of
this n that;

Saucers of lost time and their

empty boxes,

amidst

general

disarray.

I poison myself to see what waits for me
In the darkness of my mind. My body
Holds these chemicals tentatively,
Like an atom exchanging electrons
To see what else they could be.
Destroying is only the gates swinging wide
For creation. Creation is the tide
Lapsing into destruction. Elation
Follows when you begin erasing
The sickly world for which you've acquired taste.
I poison myself and let fall from the bones
Rotting flesh, slopping off in full ideas
Of gluttonous consent. My peers
Before me do the same, and will after
I'm gone to the here after, after here.
This figment of a collective imagination,
These walls towering over our conscious spaces;
I set the fire on my side of the fence:
I want to see where the birds went.

The spaces you carved out in me
left behind some figure
for the way I ought to be.

The traces of you, that fill me,
all I can remember,
leave me empty.

Dear God,
Flowers need spit to grow.

Dear God,
Flowers need spit to grow.

Silence is silver in winter,
Green is gold in snow.

Dear God,
Flowers need spit to grow

Waiting for passion,
Mountains crumble, oceans wax
With or without you.

Nostalgia of the pain,
Honeysuckle of emptiness.

Laughter of ancient jokes,
Transcendent punchlines.

Retrospect obsession,
Jagged edge reflection,

Crystal clear in the hollow nights of hurt.

Lofty existence, spent weighed.
Pounds of electric weather, paid.
Surreal ambiguity, made.
Clarity fades.

A personal ocean deep,
Tears for every wave.

Gritty, draining as the soil most inert.

Restrain me with these fleeting moments,
hold me down by way of laughter,
so I can resist this death sentence,
and stay below the here-after.

I've grown tired of the clear cut clarity
endowed to this lower being of which
I am witness.

Rather I should say,  I await the day
this lesser of three rises up to meet
the highest.

It really is a drag to pack bags so often,
hoping it will end a little differently
this time.

Rather I should say, hoping for beginnings
with rhymes of the reason, yea the reason
of rhyme.

I stopped going with the waves.
I turned and let them crash against me.
I had my anchor, pulling up the ground.
You'd think it was an island in making.

We made this scenery.
The way you folded arms around me.
No contenders, by your spell I'm bound.
It was a dream we dreamed in waking.

I relive this forever.
A miserly toll.
To these waves, I would surrender
Everything I've known.

But there's a catch in me.
A ****** hook of reverence.
This isn't love, I know.

I can't help this reveling.
This decadence in limerence.
It pulls me down, fearful and spellbound.
If I'm ever found, will there be anything
Worth taking?

What I'd trade to
masquerade
this misery
as beauty.

It is all I have
as offering
to free me
back into the waves.

Winter comes sloppy;
A-Quality money shot
On the world's face.

Deny it if you wish.
We all live for this.
It makes no difference;
Meaningful, meaningless.

To dissolve your walls,
To play with this trigger.
To let it go off,
Then return it to sender.

Call it a holy act.
Call it something sick.
It is still a fact:
You want it.

This will be my last report
I've done run the course
Got buyers remorse

Cold    startin this *******
Just ain't worth it no mo

I'll pull up on the Saturday night
Park n **** the lights
It'll be alright

Let it rust   n turn to dust
No need to fuss or fight

It's all waiting on the flippity
That I'll never see
Oh woe is me

What a waste, gone without a trace
What a dull ending

I watched you
From my bedroom window.
Through the pines
I followed your steps
Going down the hill.
I saw you wait
At the foot of my drive
For life to come and
Sweep you off your feet.

A handful of moons
Cracked the pipe dream,
And I was there
To lick the wounds.

I watched as the fire
Gave a few heartfelt pops,
Then sunk into a bed of embers.
I don't think either of us
Expected to share that bed.

When I lose count
Of our satellite's transit,
When I lose it all
In the turning,

I'll be here;
A willing host for
The parasite of love.

Fearsome monument.
Terrorism, you call out.
Yet, terror, you spread.

Follow me to the Void,
  the Buffer,
      the Nether.

      When the window ***** inward,
  We'll put Humpty back together.

Don't let it get you down,
all this bad news going 'round.
It's all inconsequential.

No need to fret
over stubbed toes, lost bets.
It means nothing to me.

As I
go down
this road,
I
begin to see
what it holds for me.

As the
clock turns,
I slowly learn
why it is
I'm trying

to

believe.

I can't skip rocks over lakes or rivers.
I can't go down without the surface
coming down with me.

I can't keep talking and thinking I'm sane.
I can't see how others make the ripples
and claim to see clearly.

Eating
Eating
Eating
Eating
Every last bit of the **** they feed me

Believing
Believing
Believing
Believing
Believing the euphoria will last
This time it will be different
Not like it was in the past
This time I believe it
I can take what this has to offer
I can empty every last coffer
Enrich my soul with this moment
This time I won't blow it
My mouth opens in awe and then I'm repeating repeating eating eating

Once

upon a time,
this friend
told me
if I  keep
d e g r a d i n g myself
I'll come to believe it
and I believed him
and I believed  it
already,   so
it wasn't
shocking
or anything
, but

I was already doubting a lot of other things
at the time,
so I
decided
one more
couldn't hurt.

I pull these flowers far too late and out of season.
My pockets fill with the premature and the dead.
I kick these rocks I used to never notice.
I put them in my pocket, in the back of my head.

All I have to do is as important as a cat's to-do list, very remiss with every scratching of a check.

Where are all my hands, for they are not all on deck?

All I ever breathe in this post-dream reality is as a wish upon a star, unbelievably close and undoubtedly far.

I mean this most sincerely when I say it all has meaning, as our world is run by the remains of dinosaurs who got stuck in tar.

Have you ever thought ' what is this I put in my car? '

I try to hold on to a figment of imagination, as it flakes away like paint on absorbent severed trees.

It brings me to my knees when I admit I haven't hit the bottom yet, for all I feel is the certainty of sinking.

Chasing a fading note, the volume swells and a bad grounding wire is evident as the buzzing grows until the next track hits and I'm left alone in this
mirage of some meaningful nonsense I let

sweep me far away. What a game to play, tip toeing in a giant's nest!

I forgot what I set out to say, forgot the melody, forgot the meaning and yet I still hear birds chirping.

Yknow
I think you're pretty awesome
And I know I'm pretty ******
And I know that this is sappy but
When I'm with you I am happy
And that's a pretty big deal.
So tell me. How do you feel.

Wanting what's wanted and doing what's to be done leaves only what is seen to be seen but wanting what's wanted and doing nothing at all might bring peace swiftly or slowly in joy or misery so wanting what's wanted and running from it all does nothing at all except ruin it all so wanting what's wanted and acting from the heart in my experience is to plant a knife deep from the start so wanting what's wanted and ignoring your part in the world is the safe and easy way off the edge and I'm falling so wanting what's wanted and saying you'll do without is the evil vine strangling what would be devout following of truth and harmony so wanting what's wanted and digging a hole of possibility leaves nothing to see sprinkled with joy and misery basically seasoning nothing to ruin bleeding sincerity quietly locked in terminal velocity with the noose of neglect catching quickl-