I take it personally.
It bites me to the bone.
You take what I have grown,
Then call it my folly.

I won't be sorry,
When you are without home,
No need to have a phone
Because nobody's calling.

I hope your eyes open wide,
To be pecked out of your head,
So you can see the red issuing
From your innocent white lies.

My move is the cornered rat
My smooth is the mirror crack
My groove is the hissing cat
My moon is the cheese weighed trap
My time is the captured sand
My line is the grasping hand
My space is the sunset strands
My pace the sine of ridged tin cans
Where the thoughts coalesce
Where bad blood coagulates
Where the wind gathers specks
And deposits timeless anchors
Where the cost is a rest
Where the price is a dead snake
Where the heart stretches out
And with childish wonder, creates
There I recede
After navigating
The perilous divine lights
That blind and bewilder me

Bear with me. I'll bear with you.
Together, we can carry the world

A handful of change,
late day, very windy.
I started walking to the store,
made it to the end of my street.
We lived on the corner,
and there stood an oak tree.
I stopped there.
I felt something watching.
It was getting dark,
and it was very windy.
I looked up in the branches,
heavy limbs swinging.
All except for one.

   There was something.

A dream of familiar places,
stuck together just so.
Ol pops in a rocking chair,
rocking out of control.
Maw by a mirror,
face full of fear,
hair going white
and flying as skin peels.
I wake up then,
change strewn on the nightstand.
The thing in the tree
did this to me.

My roses are fine,
I just covuhed em in dirt;
Bore fruit so divine,
I forgot the earth.

A fire I'll light
To eat the fruit with mirth.
My garden just might
Get a rebirth.

Did you get your cake today?
Did you get a little money?
Did your family call and say
"Happy birthday, honey"?

Did you get your wishes sent
To be granted on a breath?
Did somebody ******* so good
It made you think of death?

Did you get a new tattoo?
Did you smoke some ****?
Or maybe now you huff glue...
Idk, happy birthday baby.

Bodies fold in this smoulder, emptying the air from out their heads, evacuating the lingering dread that inside they're already dead.
Souls writhe in this disorder, touching anything that they can, reverberating the color red as the blue fire slowly gets colder.
From where
Did this
Empti  
             ness
Find
A wish
That arms
Could bear?
Every atom clashes, and in this disarray, ecstasy establishes a Winter King's reign.
As these fingers touch this skin, reason goes insane. Following the heat, as aimless as the rain.
How
Does one
Conjoined
Within
Reach  
            out
To heal
To mend?

Whispering denials in the grips of evidence,
The body draws to pleasures in lieu of spiritual penance

The world stopped turning but things still spin.
I think we need a rewind to do it again.
The tape's getting old, the wax is crumblin,
but it's bending round the folds and the sounds keep mumblin.
I know there's a toll coming up ahead. I didn't bring any change but I brought some bread to keep the
birds nearby flying over my head.
They let me know if they've been fed.
They don't say nothing, but I understand.
They let me know if there's something dead.
They don't say nothing, but I understand.

They told me I should plan a trip,
but they never mentioned I was already on it.
They told me it would all add up,
but I'm always short so I resort to pawnin.

God help me; birds, here's your bread.
Tell me if I'm already dead.
I'm heading for the mountains, empty-handed.
They don't say nothing, but I understand.

Welcome to the wave, the fourth to come through.
The horror and the beauty, equally true.
In its death throes, a self portrait painted.
Kaleidoscope of worn hearts jaded,
Beating anew.
You'll have to choose.
Will you say you're grown or will you say you grew?

Welcome to the days they sang to you.
Where the bars in the cage suddenly move.
The clouds in your head, all but faded.
The flowers in the garden, no longer waiting
To bloom.

Truth be told, don't know where it's headed.
Think we're going up. There I said it.
Follow the current, set by the moon.
Giant for all, from a little by you.

I stand still, getting buried, under pressure, by the sands of time, I am covered, remembered, unseen.

You are up there, getting scattered, over mountains, by the hands of life, you are stripped, made bare, cleaned.

It is my remains you pump to the surface, it is my dead fire that gives yours light.

It is your straining to make villains out of victims, your commitment to love crimes that keeps me reaching through the night.

A treasure left sunk,
swimming with sharks, you still shine
in a different sky.

Oh, my dear old friend.
I'll be here if you need me,
though I know you won't.

Valleys and mountains
Of conscious awareness come
And go; wax and wane.

What is death, but a
Wider valley than you have
Ever known before?

The funny thing is,
You have known it many times
In the ebb and flow.

Sinking, slipping in
This dance of awareness, you
Truly are a fool.

Hell-bent to perpetuate the pain. Every token of well intent, spent
on the same ****** thing.
Earth drawn to earth.
Fire to fire.
Lovers to lovers.
Liars to liars.
Passionate about this
remiss sentiment. Lament, yet
continue all the same.
Ubiquitous, illusory cog grinding along.
Encore after encore, following the swan song.
End it in anger, continue it with love;
The failure will always fit like a glove.

Whatever is left of me,
if you can remember anything
I've ever said,
down any path I've ever
led you, or
wherever you've led me,
if you can see me,
I'm free now,
for this world that is
always taking.

There's no need to lie to me,
there's no need to comfort this
dying fool who
wasted his time, pining in his
prime for a
chance
he knew
would never come.
After all, this
misery was by
design, to save the one
I love.
It's over now, I'm giving up.

I don't want your
sympathy, your
thoughts or your
prayers.
I wish I could illustrate
what I've won from this dare.
How do you
describe something
that isn't
there?
I lean on the hope that
what's left of me,
you'll share.

I took
so
much
effort
bleeding out this
place,
I've
emptied every coffer,
every altar
defaced.
I
scraped
away
the pretty paint
looking for the
matter,
and there it was,
this emptiness, getting fatter.

Now I sink in,
once again,
to this bog
I've been
stuck in,
struggled in,
woke up in,
fell asleep in,
dreamed in,
broke free in,
feared in,
**** and ****** in,
got cleaned in,
once again,
it takes me under.

Slowly sinking lower.
These vines don't support the weight.
Wrapped around trees, their indifference
Should've been clear to me.

Kicking the way for emptiness
To bite in with every shake.
Down to my knees,  creeping deliverance:
Bury this failure; set me free.

Burning in the fire that is these chemical reactions,
how is it any of us have time for straw dogs?

Whenever I make bad decisions,
I make sure to take off any gifts from the family.
That way,
If I do die, they can think I just forgot their love was there.

I saw a shooting star,
The most beautiful I've seen.
Long and luminescent,
Falling away from me.
I knew then I shouldn't regret
What I've been doing.
It's gotten me this far. I
Learned this from a shooting star

Drummer please refrain from hitting anything while we talk about
what we're doing wrong
where it is we're going
who here's just playing along
what if we get a show, I mean
we all seem to be growing
each along a different line
finding different words
to rhyme with "who am I"
well here's a couple words
from my grime-encrusted mind
from the heart scarred from hurt

Goodbye

Burning in my chest
This thing i never used
Creaking shut like a waning moon

As my material falls apart
in the rapture of time,
space will fill with curiosity.
As my shed skin collects
in the corners of my room,
significance will wipe me away.
The certainty of a single leaf,
the acceptance of a toppled anthill,
the colors of muddy waters,
however dull they may be;
The mundane will be filled with all the mystery
of the furthest reaches of our distant neighboring star.
The cold reality will burn anew
in that timeless flame of electron.

What words raise walls, and furnish this space, vivify this mirage, breathe life into this place, what words will trace, agree with the soul, with objective grace, this subjective toll, what words can chart, with terse sentiment, if only just a part, a heart's lament, where to begin, where to aim, where to end, and start again, in this mirage, in the realm of thought, why raise these walls, where clarity is caught, meaning shadowed, purity filtered, these expression gallows, where goods are pilfered, the distance grew, as days crawled by, between us two, this me and I.

Overheat in sun, I am in idle, unable to

Run away from fears, lies and denials,  they catch on

Everything I do, all tests and trials, and they drag me

Toward

The sun.


-
--
---
Nowhere to hide.
I greet the serpent, coiled inside.
Striking my mind.
And my heart faithfully carries the bite.
Time and time again,
I am freed through this affliction.

Wind and unwind.
A towering knot, deeply entwined.
Wrapping my mind.
Finally, my heart is now blind.
Time and time again,
It beats through this decision.
---
--
-


The fever of life, unbound and wild, telling me to

Copy the path, be a child, and in time these

Serpents that bled me, will feel the heat, and hungrily

Come to

Consume

This pain.

Direction....

purpose...

not even love can compete with the heavens in which a dope fiend dwells.

No matter how you show them, they will never notice that this ***** paradise is hell.

My heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body tells my heart tells my mind tells my body pick it up

This heart
whistles
the song
of those
who
turned
their
back
on culture.

Chained down by blood,
the
hellish
beasts
of
conformity
circle,
waiting
for a note
they can
understand
and
really
sink their teeth into.

This quicksand doesn't give out refunds, so please keep pulling. Whatever is left of me, is yours.

Too bright to lose, too dim to win.
Life, give me something other than a ******* lemon.

Gathered all the hues, painted virtues and sin.
I'm not about to do all this ******* again.

Give me another clue, like who's an enemy, who's a friend.
Otherwise I'll keep pointing fingers in faces until they cave in.

Hands in my head
Fingers in my eyes
Worlds of said
Fury of minds
Guns in my heart
Bullets in my veins
Rupturing the soul
Blowing up the brain
Laws in my body
Bribes in my health
Chemicals, the jury
Reactionary wealth
Angels in my heaven
******* in my hell
Reservation limbo
_

I'll find your warmest spots
I'll creep under your clothes
Over freckles and dots
Navigating your repose
I'll find a soft place
Settle down to feast
There's no time to waste
Succumb to me

I'll hunger
For a piece
One drop
Relief
I'll tap
Your seas
Grow fat
Diseased
It's killing me
It's killing me

I am but a word on a background.
I am the stone smoldering in the ocean, giving away every part of me that is touched.
I am the open book with the old pitiful spine.
I am the dusty remains of something great.
I am but one nerve-ending, firing off along these lines, catching fire to the page.
I am the knot that holds.
I am the words that let go.
I am the ragged welcome mat of a mediocre cabin.
I am the pine tree that blocks the view.
I am but one and yet around every corner.
I am the serpent that speaks to your apple, whispering you away from the path.
I am the soft breeze that leaves branches wanting.
I am the bird whose song spells LOVE.
I am the problem.
I am the solution.
I am of great division.

Time stops for appreciation.
Space moves through passions to be.
In time, your body fails,
And that space in your head
Discards veils
And moves.

Every light I see at night,
Ripping through the darkly hue,
Worded right, I hope they might
Make come true a wish for you.

Wild star, falling far
Without shame, unafraid
Heaven mar, henna scar
Though untamed, you know her name.

The empty spaces where you should've done something
will be the air you'll cough up past those things you never said.

a thing of chance,
of choices made,
what's there to say
of circumstance?

I've gone mad in the empty
I've breathed in too much hope
I've collected one big memory
Bit it, chewed, and choked

When something dies within me
A slice of life maudlin
I'll spit out my misery
Bite, chew, choke again

I'll keep this up forever
It will be my effigy
The loss that keeps me together
Until it, too, is empty

I've never known how to start anything.
If I manage to, I don't know how to keep it going.
I don't even think death will be an end to this ignorance.

Are you willing to trade
a moment of embarrassment
for a lifetime of
regret?

Let them say what they will about rock bottom.
Truth is, a foothold is the same wherever you might find it.

Whoever coined the term

"time heals all wounds"

had either no sincerity

or no heart


After a while, we become jaded to these gestures of clarity, these simplicities that try contorting pretty colors from the grey. To be human is to share violently all things you think are true, to be ugly in direct proportion to the beauty you wish to see. Don't hide from your pain; strangle it. There's no time for less.

Trying so hard for what
Waiting so long for who
Desperation bleeding like a cut
Calling fell flew

Finishing the thought with a but
Ending it with ifs; ands too
Subtlety coming off rather blunt
Why does everything remind of you

Childish here, an old man there
Angry about this, about that I don't care
A variety of gifts, none of them pair
Beneath this skin, there's nothing I can wear

Sink into your seat, all heavy and empty.
Look at this world you used to prize.
With a sigh, smile through broken, ugly teeth.
Best not to cut; better to untie.

Tell yourself again how the good ones die.
Tell yourself again you don't deserve pity.
Tell yourself again why you stay alive.
Even if every reason's a bit ******.

I'm tired of pretending.
I'm tired of this sensing
a thing that is denied.

I'll continue giving,
hoping in the taking,
they'll leave nothing behind.

Keep staring at the clock and you'll catch those hands; wake up old, confused, and hurting.

Settling in the moment with a sigh
The times I'm never here,  I wonder why
What could escape this day,
And be seen fondly by tomorrow?

What could a beggar to royalty bring?
What treasures has the infinite never seen?
I'll give it my best guess.
I'll give it everything.

Let it go, now.
Let the ship go down.
You were never the captain,
Only along for the ride.

The waves roll out,
Touching the clouds.
And heavens never knew how to touch the ground.
Yet, they tried.

Liquidate fear,
that you might afford
some closure
to this pain.

A need to be done
A period to end this sentence
Did the time, then some
I need no more witness

In this moment hung
Within walls that mark off spaces
The air that fills my lungs
Can't blow away the traces

Left here, in these emptied lines
Simple letters twist into signs
that I cannot unwind
I cannot forget these faces

A moon is said to cause the tides
A sun is said to tan our hides
I know these to be lies, now
Love commits these crimes

The ebbing of my life

From wants towards this need

Drawing a blank
in the eye of the beholder
is high art
if I've ever seen it.

The fear of the unknown
is too often replaced
with the overbearing price
of certainty.

Faith only pays when it's shaken,
and yet we light fires
to find
the day.

To create is human.
To doubt is divine.
To live, to breathe,
is to cross that line.

It's so hard in the beginning.
Perfect ones are so rare.
Trying to lift off this burden
I chose to bear.
Oh goodness, this happiness.
So little left to share.
Please give me a reason, anyone,
To continue on with all my caring.

Im leaving in a dream
I'll be back on yesterday
I'll see you in the scene
Where they explain what everyone did.
I'll carry the sweet flavors
Of a fruitful spring,
Down to the bottom line.
So I won't forget.

The truth unfolded like a snake,
how much venom can you take?
Before you crumble down and break,
Will you admit to being bit,
close your eyes,
and at last, wake?

Under a tree
Atop a hill
An iron altar
I made to fill
With my shame
And with my hate
Yet all the same
Stayed closed the gate
I knew was there
Above the hill
Where treetops sat
Never still

Nothing changed
But still I tried
When trying failed
The gates I pried
To no avail

With hinges bent
And keeper gone
My will is spent
And I go on
To remember
How I built
This temple that
I left to wilt

This altar now
Heavy as hell
Where wings to heaven
I hoped to spell
With good intent
Sunk far and down
Out of sight
Without a sound

I hoped I might
Salvage a chance
Of dreams come true
With this dance
Of right and wrong
Good and bad

Now I'm glad it's gone, good riddance


I forgot
I constructed this
Sanctuary
This stab at bliss
I had a shot
I knew I'd hit
Yet there's no chance
I didn't miss