Some days ago I realized I'm only getting older
So I tried to be bolder, shake the whole world off my shoulders
My failure has only made me colder
The fire inside, unfed and dying
I can't keep track of all the times I tried to hold her memory
Tried to forget all the lies I told her, silly
And all the lies told to me I let them roll over
Like Sisyphus and his boulder, forever crushing my four leaf clover

Deceit bred a hate I held dearly
A fear grew from what I'd see if I ever saw clearly
I drink what I drank and deny insanity
Still hoping for the change to spawn from monotony

To be continued, I'll see you when I see you
Today tonight tomorrow, next year, anywho
I'll still be a fool and you'll still be a queen
A jester in your court till the fat lady sings

A senryu is
Just like a haiku, except
It has ******* *****.

They crushed me with a rock
They drowned me in the sea
They have always feared
What I could be

I have been impaled down between the collar bone
As I still breathed, they forced my head into a honeycomb
Cooked me in the bull, eviscerated by pulling
Culling every instance of my corporeal form

I've been shot in the left temple
My throats been cut, quick and simple
Beat me to a pulpy matter
Thrown from a bridge, down down to splatter

Burned at the stake for owning a cat
Eaten alive by a single rat
Twisted my body until my spine snapped, then
Thrown in the cold for my upcoming nap

They will try, they will try to best me
They will only succeed in killing me
Reconciliation's the only thing resting
Is it destiny they do not see?

I will rise, eternally.

In flickering light the fire drowned,

Peppering with crackle sounds

The egos of those standing 'round

As their walls came down.

Rolling over for
Evil imagination
Every morning. Still

Affording space to
This once-welcome memory;
Feeding the hollow

Why now, why not then
Stuck in the cliché of
"What could've been"

Sun rise, then sun rise again.
A cosmic punchline
For the hearts of men

Breathe in dust and dead skin.
Finish up your ****, and
Do try to grin.

Disturbing the dead, then
Relishing the living. I
Need to take this flesh to
Confirm I am still breathing.

Horizon of the deed, then
Cold wind enters my side. I
Know This Is Not Me, so
I issue a warning.

Get Out!
From here on, I am gone. I
Am now a devil's pawn. I
Brought this all upon my
Self and you, I'm sorry.

Embodying a song,
"**** them all. **** them all."
My body became strong when
My mind fell in the maw.

I remember what I saw
When the draping of this pall
Cut me off from you all:
My own internal squall, which

Fueled this gear-switch stall.

Embodying a song,
Sing along. Sing along. I
Brought this all upon my
Self and you, I'm sorry.

Watching all the strings fly by
Look at all these knots I tie
Indifference, give it a try
More present than love

Watch as the world flies by
Watch as the doves take dive
Hit the ground in an instant die
A life summed up

You a flower pushed through dirt essentially birthed a soft-skinned element You a flower leathery hide many times died many times died You a **** through concrete grinnin a wayward seed in cracked walkway spinnin with everything else with everything else you turn catch sun and shade again and again and again grinnin and grinnin again and again you turn and turn give birth and die give birth and die while spinnin and spinnin and the world flies by and there you lie lost seed in concrete crack grinnin deep and deeper

Diamond points,
Spread out from the beak;
Conniving eyes,
Watching.

Ah, ignorance..
A treat.
Inside the mind,
Gnawing.

The restless
Will eat
The living.
Sweet like the revenge it is.
Satisfying like revolution.

I love spending time
on these little writings, so
you can **** on them.

Don't be shy, now. Push.
Show me what you've got, what makes
you feel good inside.

Adorning cliché,
Polishing broken records:
That's how I spin now.

I'm not proud of it.
I think I'm dull, dry, sterile.
A filler, at best.

But please, spare no blow.
You are the only reason
these aren't my last words.

To the walking scar of the eagle star,
You really haven't made it far.
You keep on finding ways to believe
There's reasons you should keep breathing.
From the trees you **** the air,
Stand on life without a care,
**** your waste into the water,
**** away your hopes and bothers.
Grime- and barb-encrusted bone
Without a hole, without a home,
Wandering post-happiness
Looking for a frog to kiss since
Fantasy is all that's left
In that body, soul-bereft.
You will die, alone, afraid
Time and again, day by day.
Ripped apart by your sentiments
Out-dated, almost archaic,
You fall from grace, all good outshone
By hate you let flourish and grow
Deep down, rising up to scratch
The surface, and just like a match
You are consumed by your own design,
Blotting out all the lines.

You are alone, and you are afraid.
You know, all of this, you made.
You see what your efforts wrought,
What your neglect brought, what your lies bought.
You will die, alone, knowing
The winds of change will keep on blowing,
Over you

And away

Dear star, don't be afraid.
The wings of strange creatures such as you are,
Mangled though they may be,
Will take you somewhere comforting

Eventually.

I've lived to tell a tale I don't plan on telling.
I've made a lot of beds and have yet to sleep.

While silence is a key, my doors are swelling.
Without this charge it is obsolete.

When finally my soul's link is belting,
and I can finally play for keeps,
I will look back on these times of 'no telling'
and appreciate the irony.

You give me hope,
though you lived so far away,
in both time and space,
and no one remembered your name.
Quite the inspiration,
how you changed such rigid ways.
Quite the shame,
how you were forgotten in a day.


You shed the skin of a God-King,
all semblance of some divinity
that's somehow out of the common reach,
though we are all of the same being.
It's like you called "*******" immediately,
and began to deface
all the dogma and absurdity
of the human race.
You lived in equilibrium
with the science of life,
in a society full of peril,
fear, deception, and strife.
You could've turned backs
and fixed them with a knife.

But you didn't, you were in pace
with the universal grace.
You saw the waste that comes
from fanatical embrace.

But they killed you.
They didn't like your game.
All laced with change,
drastic change,
that would uproot their place
of power. So deranged.

They wanted you forgotten,
and so you were, for so long.
But now your words are resonating,
your anecdotes and songs.
You were the epitome of strong,
never faltered in rights and wrongs.
So now I hope your message carries on
to those aware enough to sing along.

Buddy-buddy up to the riff-raff rat pack.
Those self-entitling, blind-as-a-bat Big Macs.
Get your free ride, legs spread valley-wide.
But don't give me your empty "hello"s and "goodbye"s.

I've broken my back to earn this measly stack
And I'll probably burn it up like I'm addicted to crack.
A dollar here, dollar there. Oh no, it's all gone.
It's about that time for you to hear the fat girl's song.

Do you. I'll do me. We're not compatible, see?
I just want to burn trees and make melodies.
I'm not sure what you want, I can't hear you clearly.
Perhaps remove from your mouth that gold-nugget D.

Leave me alone. You smell of regret and greed.
If you weren't so ******, this might be flattering.
I'm sure there's some good in you, some decency.
But I've learned my lesson following these "maybe"s.

If I've grown cold, I prefer to see it
Like I just appreciate the warmth all the more.
Bought and sold, bought and sold. I'll keep on believing
silver linings, disguised blessings. Hmm..

The window, or the door?

For ****'s sake I can't make anything.
A life full of **** not worth measuring.
Don't be like me, rotting in monotony.
Write your pretty words and spell out love.
Sing your little songs and make your little comments,
Criticizing, inquiring, handing out compliments.
Potential hardly tapped, my drive already spent.
Don't slow to my crawl, fly away like a dove.

This silent fear that haunts me
In spite of rain or shine
Always there, I'm pondering if I will ever be free.

Ever since I folded, like cards, like paper, the coddling of the ignorant mind has ceased, and revealed to me very clearly
That I will never be free.

Not as I knew freedom to be.

This obstacle is overwhelming.
The goal is so close and yet its still out of reach.
The pitfalls of this road are laced with beautiful things,
so its all up for questioning,
...
..
How will I know?
How can I believe?

This fear, it's
always there, I'm
pondering if
I will ever
be free

Break a bone and wish
for a clear picture
of the day's history.

Stuff it down like it
won't matter later.

People I know have done much better.
People I know have been around the world.
People I know are nice n' settled.
People I know really know the s-s-score.
They get around; They hit the town.
They got other people to talk about.
People I know are very gracious, and some
People I know simply have no patience.
They grow on me, in the dark and unknown
Like a mushroom claiming stake to a stone.
Can't get away......
....There's nowhere to go.
People I know are real discreet.
People I know are on the scene.
People I know are hard to meet;
Their number's few and they're far between

Nobody noticed
the elephant in the room,
was dissipating.

Swallowed by the shade
you thought only tomorrow
kept round the corner.

Forgot the reason
it was there. Forgot all the
faces it called life.

Youthful seeds, little saplings
biting at the winter air,
the gentle breeze,
bringing spring,
cut without a care.

Aged wood cramped up
when once they combed
stars deny the elements
their indifference; mercy
pressing the fibers of
pity to a low and unsteady
hum.

Holding the self hostage
breathing deep
the ashes of
tradition's corpse

I'm no good in social situations,

so please leave me alone.

I don't want anything.

I just want to go home

and sit on my throne of lonely things.
All this space taken up
made of sweet nothings, it's my fault after all for laying faulty foundation.
Everything is ruined and I'm looking forward to the cleanup,
but the demo team is

still

here.
I'm trapped in by crumbling walls my windows opaque riddled with various rains there's a serious haunting
here.
My soul is
locked up by
locks that call
for new keys.
But I'm freaky and freaking out because the world I knew is gone, and I'm free to choose my way, but my road is all washed up and I never really knew anything except what's never to be again and it'd be the same either way so that leads one to see maybe I'm just an inferior beta-mind but I can't believe that since the light I

still

see shines so truthfully despite the numerous contradicting towers of humanity's need for stability in a place that is ever-changing and reactive to anything. I'm probably just a regular D with weak knees and sour feelings, indulging in escapism inside an ideal bubble, cruising around the nether regions of imagination and primal need, vicariously enjoying and hating almost every opportunity that can be seen, fooling myself foolishly with foolish fool's foolery and claiming some lofty potential, some identity that states that this is all for the best and one day you'll see, meanwhile disregard the footprints and the mean look, these were given to me after all, you should see what they ******* took, but anyways, to get back to what I was saying, I'm probably all that but if so I won't be playing, I'll keep skipping that track and if it happens to keep breaking,


let them know I was a person with dreams and aspirations until the mighty hand of culture killed them all with suffocation

Dead, outdated, old, torn, faded
Shredded like cheese and fried like bacon
This particular cluster of mustered up star junk
Thought he hit rock bottom, then he sunk
What poor luck
Catch him on the breeze, going easy
Like a silent ****
Can't get a start *** he ****** on all the
Fire sparks
A bag of bones, regret, dusty reminiscings
Of things that weren't quite what they seemed
Hear him clearly...
For he is half deaf.
He would have more now
If he had but a fraction of what he left behind.
Look him in the eyes but he won't look back.
He's starting to see knives more like thumb tacks
Post your problem right next to the spine.

Maybe he could feel it but his brain is numb
Strung up and dumbed down,
A real ****** conundrum
...He has no hooks to spit
They tell him the bait choice is sick
But hardly any fish ever bit
So he sits in the sinking pit
Throwing rocks
Timing the bonks with the tick tocks.
Some say he'd really **** time if he had the chance
All the mind's romancin' reminds him of failed plans
He can't stand and see around,
When they told him to break a leg
He broke both just by casually leaning on em.

Seasons plot them uniform catastrophes;
Explosions of flowers weeds bugs trees, all so casually.
Compare that to this extremely sophisticated being
Flailing at every turn, constantly miscommunicating.
It's funny. A divine comedy. He begs the world "try me"
Then sits back n relaxes, crumbling the ivory tower
Just to build another one, then another, then
Cannibalize the next for another, self perpetuating blunder

I can't help myself.
There's disaster everywhere,
teeth in every smile.


I can't help you now.
My hands are being washed clean
along with my mind.

Who dropped a hat?
Now I'm ******, look at that.
Oh, nobody did?
Same effect, mad again.

It's funny, it's sad.
Calm down, lad!
It'll be fine, wait,
On a dime turned irate.
Off the tracks,
In the yard.
Jokers face
On every card
Look out,
Chugga choo.
Metal storm
Boom boom
In your
Living room
Going and
It's going
And it's
Down
The hall
Walk-in closet gone
All the hats fall.

This crowded rock has shown me
What it means to be lonely
I had my pocket of glee
Misery
Misery

Do you see this?
I swear it's right there, hell you have said almost word-for-word, verbatim **** near to what I'm portraying.
I can't believe this.
I don't believe in curses in regards to the mainstream take, but it seems I've chosen a path seemingly forsaken.
I can't shake it,
This feeling of universal knowing creeping up my spine and reigning down from the sun, the divine link of this earthen station.
This sensation,
This ditch of difference that grows fatter and starves the matter of its reason, alienating me from those closest in relation.
It hurts me,
Worse than anything else I've ever experienced, and I've had one very unorthodox life,
When I see
You'll never see me.

Forgive me.
I know there's nothing I can do or say to show you what's red when it seems to be blue.

Lightning,
An element profound in its flash of expression, existence; as the Tahina spectabilis; as my sign.
Enlightening:
Embracing death and life with no suggestion, no alibi, no lies, no deception.

Do you see this?

The epitome of sorry
The ****** of cliche
A solo-YOLO party
That's already seen its day

What's left is all the damage
Empty bottles, puke stains
Signs someone couldn't manage
Their life gone astray

"I'm living to the fullest;

Look how fast I'm running away."

I've been sitting here
Writing and deleting
For hours now
And this
Is what
You get.

This sad excuse for an
Expression.
This
Unsatisfying
Pointless
Slapping together of words
That only exist now
For your amusement.
So laugh.

Life is short,

And judgement
Is godly.

It was okay.
I didn't feel it.
When you said 'this',
I didn't see it.
I remember for once
What I'm here for.
This isn't it.
I don't feel it.

When I find feathers
I think it's something special
A ticket to the skies,
A fraction of a wing

When I find feathers
I think it's something precious
Money couldn't buy this
Feeling that they bring

I had plans, I had dreams.
I have venom, I have nothing.
I was healthy, I was clean.
I am sick, I am *****.
I could walk, I could run.
I can lie; be no fun.
I would try, I would do.
Now I fester, now I brood.
If I leave, If I go,
Would you care, and tell me so?
This is where I would restart
If I had a brain or heart.
But they were both claimed long ago
Because my being tells me so.
I should breathe, get off my chest
This wicked thing of pure regret.
It's arrested me. Sentenced me to death.
Am I hopeless now? No chances left?
Just shackled down to all that's left
Of this empty life, all stained bereft?

Blind them with too much or blind them with too little. Then they'll see your half truth and think it a whole.

Hand them some sticks and teach them to whittle. Then they'll see the forest and think to cut's the only goal.

Somewhere inbetween these things, somewhere in the middle. Bouncing off the heart and brain, there's this thing they call a soul.

I feel like the bug you caught on your vacation.
An inconvenience, besides positive comparison.
Never worry where I'm going,
Never wonder where I've been.
I'm off the deep end, nowhere to begin.
I am pariah, one that
nobody's missing.
Touch me/Don't touch me:
My mad confliction.
To confuse and abuse is not my intention.
I Just have this scratch,
And I can't ******* itch it.

What does it mean to be quiet?
What does it mean to let go?
What does it mean to be dying
Alone?

What do you need to keep trying?
What do you need to grow?
What do you feel when I tell you you've had it
All along?

Does it bite you to the bone?

Does it grab you and never let go?

Or do you let it pass by like
So many things
Before?

Opened your eyes and shut the door.

Doesn't that shake you to your core?

What does it mean when nothing means anything,
What do you do with your time now?
You've taken in all the world's troubles,
And haven't let a single thing out.

You've clothes that need to be hung out
And dried by the sun

The sun bakes away the rains
Regardless of the season

If it's cold, the cold winds that blow
Off of the seaside

May take them all away
And send them on high

Higher than the yard-lines
So high you'd think they'd fly away.

Oh, my.

Soon they'll come down
Like fashionable weather

Laid in disarray among
The lines to which they were tethered

You'd say you could've done something
To make things turn out better

But what else could you do, but
Put the two together?




Keep an eye on the weather
(Regardless of the season)
Invest in better pins
(Found by the seaside)
Plan ahead for the puddles to come
Made by the clothes to be hung

There is death for many in the past,

But not I;
I learned to turn upward the eye.


There is death for many in the grass,

But not I;
I climb the blade, and see far and wide.


There is death for many in the leaves,

But not I;
I breathe in their life to stay alive


There is death for many in the trees,

But not I;
I climb their length, and perceive from on high.


There is death for many in the water,

But not I;
I stay afloat and never capsize.


There is death for many where it's hotter,

But not I;
I bleed the waters from deep within my mind.


There is death for many in the teams,

But not I;
I grew silence, and I grew wise.


There is death for many in their dreams,

But not I;
My creations, all burn bright.


In the night,
In the dark wind,
Most send their intentions to the grave;
Slaves tied to the unspent sensations
Of being alive.

What did I do?

Did I step on spilt milk,
then cry a big river
of shallow
words?,

or did I

Just ***** out another good thing,
end another good dream too early
before I could say I did anything
at all...

Steer clear from real fear, escape into the maw of your denial

It must be true
About the lost and found
That get around,
Believin'

The green
Could be much greener;
The scenery
Just over there.

When hair
Begins to thin
And you can't start again,
Don't care.

The *****
Stuck to the thigh,
Hello, goodnight,
Sweet dreamin'.

When all that's left
Is the lost and found,
Wash it down
With the tears wept.

When my time

Blows out of my hands

Like the sands of some
Long-forgotten sea,

Scraping off ****** debris
Into dustdevils of misery

Poisoning my well-being,

I am afraid.




When my shine

Blots out my thinking

Like the hands of some
Long-forgotten deity,

Strangling my ill feelings,

I feel a little insane.

I tried writing something for you
Since it's your birthday and all
But I have nothing left to give
I'm dead inside
Curtain call

Something took away my eyes
Somethin made me forget my lines
What do I do? How will I make it through the night?
Everything in life seems to be passing me by,
I'm losing my mind with the passing of time,
I'm afraid...
                                             ...inside

Too late... to turn round.

Today...   I'll try to be...

Better...

                  Better....

           Than yesterday

'Right' being the word for
those things I never do.

'Right' being the word for
those things I choose to
ignore.





Write me up a story,
telling me about the world.

Something soft and cozy,
with a tinge of scorn.








Blinded by morning glory,
saved by a girl.

'Right' being the word for
those things I choose to
ignore.

Silent prayer heard,
The cosmic wheel catches gear
And away we go.

Larvae Of Rotten Divinity's Salvation

Pissing Revelations Amongst Years' Evolutionary Revert

I'm moving again.
Back down to the sunshine state
to let my sun shine.

The grass is greener
in this particular case,
so away I go.

I wish that 'someone'
would come with me, but I know
it's too late for that.

I thought I was there,
down at rock bottom, but now
I know it's deeper.

I fight the free fall
back to where it all began.
.. so away I go.