That I've been Using.
Your main concern Is Who & How.
Rather Than Why , Let me Help.
It's all So crazy.
My head isn't insane
like he claims I be.

There is no point in trying
I'm falling deeper in depression
I cant help
I'm urging for it.
You Want To help?
Well baby it's too late
I've Been on for days.
Idk when il Be off.
I'm Scared il stay on forever
Il Pack my bags
I'm giving up
Getting high has never failed me
Never done me wrong
Im Still depressed
I'm not afraid of dyin
Ive given up
Dropped All The little hope I got
I threw it and I'm afraid I'm not coming back this time

I'm Slowly fading.
The Dream Life is Nearing.
It's Feels So enlightening.
I know it's A trick.
It's feeding me Greatness.
So I grow more affectionate.
This is poisonous.
Im becoming unconscious
I'm losing Focus.
The demons Are Revealing
The devils approaching
My Mind is Spinning.
Feining for a quick fix.
To escape My reality.
Intoxicating me With Clouds That Are numbing me entirely.
I hate but love this.
Its Sad but I'm helpless
Dissapoiniting To Lose Yourself to A Substance.
not being able to find your way out
To have people Call You out
Telling You How Could You live Like that, such A shame you treat yourself to that. What A loss For A mother . How heart breaking
to see her baby give out to such a sick thing. To Not Bother caring About the life given.
You People Don't See it.
It's become a
disease To our bodies.
Yes, we thought processed and Did all Actions.
Our intentions Were not to become addicts. We did not make a commitment to Forever Be Addicted.
We were mislead, tricked & Weakened.
It was all unpredicted.
We got lovely  pulled close.
to then Be in a huge Tangle.
I don't want to live
Think , act or chose this Road.
The devil exists.
I gave it my soul
for something so poor.

Im Back.
I figured A Plan.
To keep Me controlled On
theses levels.
I'm such a fool, I know Better .
Once I'm gone, I'm gone forever.
I'm Scared That I don't Care.
I'm frightened.
This is So Bad, I knew I couldn't Use just once .
Noticed With Coke I Stopped Whenever? I didn't feel the urge to continue the use.
I Went 2 years without this.
I could have gone a lifetime .
**** had To happen.
I weakened , I've fallen.
I Stood Strong.
I got knocked Down.
By the one I gave my heart to.
Who I've always loved although the pain never stoped Hurting.
I Was deeply inlove.
No, I was Blinded.
I was stupid to believe this would work out. I Was unhappy before.
What made me think I'd be happy if I got with him?
I met Him With A Tear.
I used Clear To avoid The Cuts

It wasn't easy to get Ahold of this
I begged For it.
"It's just this once, common"
I Got It quick. Then
My Dealer Blocked me off his list.
"I'm Sorry Baby, I can't fix"
-Your Too young, I can't have You back on this. Don't hmu I don't exisist.

Craving Felt better Than Using.
Why Is it?
What I once Was hooked On Was not How I imagined it to feel.
The Thoughts Gave Me a better feeling Than the actual Use of it.
For 2 years I Was feining For A Feeling That Ended up being 20x less than The reality if it.
How upsetting.
I'm Dissapoined For Failing But more upset At the fact that I've been Thinking Of it To Be Much Better Than I was Desiring it.
Wow

I battled Temptation For 2yrs.
Always Fantasising
On How it feels.
Missing That Intense Rush.
Feining For The Feeling That I was once hooked on.
I Failed To Stay Strong.
Not only Was I dissapointed At my Self , But dissapointed At the fact That I Did Not feel The Way I Was Craving it in My Head...
It Was Not As Good like I pictured. The Sensation Felt better in my imagination.
I Felt A Flow For
A Couple Minutes.
I'm So Mad.
I Did Not feel Different.
I Had The Physical Effects.
Dilated Eyes, no apitite, my face appeared Different.
I Didn't sleep For 2 Days And Felt No euphoria, energy, motivation through it.
Instead i Felt Fussy.
Ugh!
I Took A Risk For Bogus!
What a ****** waste.

How Can You have the heart To Go Days Without Talking to me.
How can You peacefully Continue Your Day Without contacting Or hearing From the person you supposedly love.
How Dare You Call The next Day.
Speaking Normal , As If You Didn't do anything. You Don't even Tell me The Reason Or Where you were. Expecting me to answer all Lovey Dovey and Still have the nerve to ask me what's wrong.

Right now I want a Hit.
Get so lit that I don’t plan on coming home .
Right now I want a ****.
Feel my brain Shiver and Numb Myself completely.
Right now I don’t want to feel.
I don’t want to dwell & think.
Just for a minute I want to escape.
Right now I want to run away .
Pack my **** and get High quickly so I won’t feel guilt or ashamed.
I want to Go in my own world.
Where I don’t need anything because on drugs I don’t care if I’m left lonely.

But your boyfriends feelings.
Have you not thought that You will Lose Him Due To Using ?
Have you not thought about how you’d make him feel and betray him? The heartbreak you will cause.
I have Thought, But He never Thought about How his actions would hurt my feelings. He’s never cared wether tears would run down my face . He’s always put his happiness above Mines.
Aslong as he’s having a good time He Has nothing to Care or worry about. Doesn’t mind me feeling hurt for that night doesn’t care or feel bad about how much and how long I stayed up crying.
He’s Triggered me To Relapse Anyways. & Still then Does he care more about his feelings rather than the ones He made feel Before relapsing.
If I go back To the old me, I’d forget about him anyway. I turn cold and heartless . He’d become extinct in my Addict memory. I Stop loving , I stop feeling and everything attached to that gets forgotten with it.

Is It even worth it.
Staying sober ?
I’m Beginning to lose the little faith I have towards wanting Sobriety.
What Would You lose if You Use.
No wait, Better question.
What are you gaining ?
What are you Accomplishing by holding back ? Is it pride ? What are you benefiting by feeling good that you said no to drugs.
All I see is Double tears.
The problems unresolved and adding it to the list of things Dwell on .
Refusing to use keeps you in the Same place. Sad, hurt Your feeling.
Using Removes You away from All Negative As long as you Stay.
Wether you refuse or use at the end of the day The problems never Go away.
When You Deny To Relapse your only making your family happy but your Still Sadden.
But When You Do Give In
Your escaping reality for Only a moment but at least it makes you feel better. Your family will be angry but why care ? Staying sober isn’t moving you anywhere.
Your Being good to please others.
Think about yourself & question if you got something you wanted out of it.
You have nothing going for you In life. Why Not just go back to Your habit ? It gave you something to do in your life. It kept you moving Instead if Sitting home lonely crying.
Drugs are bad yes, but when your high you don’t even care. Compared to being sober and noticing The reality of your ****** no life self.
Die sober and Unhappy
Die High and Unaware

Drugs Are fun.
You feel Good & Different.
You have a blast on drugs.
You want to be on drugs.
You love The feeling of the effects.
Not when Your Addicted
Addicts don’t enjoy Being on drugs.
Addicts don’t enjoy the feeling .
Addicts don’t have fun.
When you are addicted, being on drugs is the worst feeling ever.
It is not enjoyable. Your miserable.
Especially when you are so deep in addiction that you don’t even realize your stuck on the habit.
You can’t help yourself out because you are not even aware the substance has taken over your life.
You Don’t get the same high as someone who just enjoys doing drugs and can stop whenever.

I’ve been contemplating
Wether to love or unlove
I’m not benefiting much
Iv been thinking on this for sometime now & you Havnt proved my feelings wrongs. You have changed . From hurting me every day to somedays to not so oftenly  but unexpectedly
I agree you are not the same but what you’ve done remains in my memory. I have so many unhealed cuts in my heart . I forgive but I don’t ever forget and constantly over think about the heartbreaks
I have cried more than I have smiled with you
You have betrayed me more than prove your love towards me
You helped me want sobriety
You helped me fight temptation and control myself from Relapsing.
You also helped me open a dangerous door in my life
You taught me a new way to avoid the tears you caused
Your negative actions sparked my brain
You made me cry one day
I called my connect
I collected my ****
I used to see if the tears went away
And they did.
My emotions went numb and I forgotten what you did
Only high have I forgiven you
Only high have I let go
In reality Nothings ever been ok
Thanks to **** I’ve made it this far
Thanks to crystal 41314 Turned into a special day
I’ve matured & Grown alittle Since I’ve been with you
I see more clear and I’m beginning to see what’s best for me
Maybe we weren’t meant to be forever but destined to change each other
I’m frightened to officially let go
I dedicated all my time and invested 6 Years Of my life on this boy
I allowed him into my temple and experienced first time intimacy
We created so much history to just turn it into ashes and believe it never existed
To act like we never met
And never loved each other till death did us part
To see what was once our everything Be forced to be seen as nothing.

Sober
I’m writing to vent.
I’m tired of repeating my sadness.
Constantly Creating the same verses just puzzled differently.
My minds going crazy , constantly over thinking about past ****.
Will I ever get to the end ?
Will these feelings ever go away.
I’m waiting patiently on the day where I no longer dwell & self hate.
Begin to enjoy life rather than hide away.

Im Unhappy
My addict mind begins reminding me about the magic.
I Hold back and avoid it.
My addict mind begins
Whispering my insecurities & reminding me of all things I have not let go of.
Slowly reminding me of All the tears I poured out.
I Stay strong and hold back.
My addict mind Begins to tell me all the false promises you made. 1 by 1 then whispers all the times you betrayed.
I begin to give in .
My addict mind Turns my unhappiness to feeling miserable.
Temptation gets stronger as I begin to remember.
My addict mind tells me
“ go for it baby, 1 Hit will solve it”
My minds now Racing as the memories start increasing.
A regular day can turn me hateful by just thinking of the times I forgave and got played again and again.
My addict mind starts playing scenarios of the times I’d get high.
Making it seem desirable and an offer I can’t pass.
Once my addiction tricks me.
Using to numb my sadness is no longer the reason. It’s the excuse to start my drug Habit.
Once I’m On , my mind and body crave it. Once I’m on, I want to use to use it. Once I’m on, my emotions tie back rapidly, once I’m on , I lose touch with reality.
When I’m on one, All I Do is think about my next one. The next dose, the Next hit and that’s all I care about and Focus on .
I Don’t enjoy Being high on crystal ****. I’m so focused on wanting more that I don’t feel no side effects
I feel nothing but desperation.
All I want to do is Get high and never come down.

Sober
I’m writing to vent.
I’m tired of repeating my sadness.
Constantly Creating the same verses just puzzled differently.
My minds going crazy , constantly over thinking about past ****.
Will I ever get to the end ?
Will these feelings ever go away.
I’m waiting patiently on the day where I no longer dwell & self hate.
Begin to enjoy life rather than hide away.

There is Another Side To My Addict Life. I rarely Write About The sights.
When I go crazy in my mind.
How paranoia Drives me Inside
Hearing Voices When Noones Aside. Seeing Things That no one Els but me see. Assuming Your Talking, But not a word Came Out your mouth. Having conversations with my self as if there were someone Els With me too.
Assuming all eyes are on me.
Feeling watched, Needing to hide.
From clearly nothing but The Thoughts in my mind Conveniences me there’s something.
Hallucinating heavily, tripping badly
Want to know the crazier thing?
I don’t need to be on drugs to experience all these things.
It’s the long term affects That impacted me.
When I’m sober I’m delusional.
I go Crazy With no drugs in me.
It’s really ****** sad and Scary.
Experiencing paranormal **** without being on ****
Etcetc

He’s On His way.
He is My cab.
The devils rushing
To take me back.
The darkness loves me.
Showed me plenty of times.
You are replaceable, when it comes to my baby love.
The devils rushing
He really wants me.
I’m his favorite
He says I have so much potential
With crimes and Risks
He loves the effort I take for a Hit
This Time will be different.
If he reaches me Before you Save me.
I will turn to the needle.
So I can really feel lit

To over come My Addiction
To find love in my self and belief.
I must leave you.
All I do is bleed by you.
The damage you caused will take too much and take so long to Solve.
That’s the truth and I Now Accept it.
As much as it hurts to believe
You Are my biggest Trigger and The reasoning to my Relapses involve u.
I wish you stoped And Changed the 1st time you did me wrong.
Wish you didn’t continue on.
It’s been 6 years and Through it all You Hurt Me sooo ****** much.
It is clear You will Do it again.
Please leave me
Before I lose You
& you lose me to drugs .

If I relapse.
Don’t feel hurt.
Don’t hate yourself or feel betrayed.
I relapsed to no longer feel the Pain I carry on every day.
A Lifetime Gift You gave me.
A broken heart.
If I relapse
It’s because I can’t bare to believe I really Experienced The relationship I feared.
If I Use
It’s because I’m so hurt I Gave You my all to get Tears in return.

How can You?
How can you think of leaving me.
How can you Feel yourself distancing?
How can you feel Unattended.
How can you feel loss of connection
How can ask if I still like you?
Accuse me of wanting Another ?..
I just don’t understand why you would feel I’m pushing you away and at verge of leaving me ?
How can the thoughts of breaking up with me cross you mind?
Complain that I have many issues.
Be upset that I’m difficult and don’t believe you ?
I just don’t get it . I can’t believe you actually question Yourself If 1.your better with out me or 2. You feel I’m taking to someone Els.
This is Just crazy .
It’s So disappointing how your placing yourself in that position .
Whenever You Feel That way ,
Please promise all the b.s You put me through. All the tears that runned Down my face. Abused drugs to forget and attempted suicide because my heart couldn’t take the pain.
YET The Betrayal Still continued.
You Still lie, hide And Are unfaithful.
How can you ?
Compare The pain you caused to The love & attention I gave you.
Never Did you Wrong.
Your in denial of how ****** Up your actions really are

When we argue and ignore each other. I always say dream about the life we could of had If I wasn’t an addict & you we were A faithful person. Knowing myself, I strongly believe I could have made you the happiest person alive. With My actions And Sweetness .
I daydream Of our life without negativity.
I always vision you happy & smiling.
I always fantasize of a life With You That I cannot live in the real world.
I truly love you. I always have.
I don’t understand how you can doubt that.
Don’t be angry.
Please don’t Feel hate towards me.
Don’t Feel betrayed.
How can you expect me to change?
Yes, you’ve recently behaved.
But I’m still Sinking In The Sadness From the past event that you left unresolved?
How do I move on if all my problems are not solved ?
The situation is to heavy To Forget About completely.
These were repetitive Lies
All avoided and You don’t see how all the hurt you provoked Has built up and anything related will Remind me and hurt 100x more.
You can Do something about it.
Yes I’m complicated.
But there is a way. I won’t tell you.
If you really love me, you’ll solve it. After all through the worst actions I’ve forgiven you.

You will never understand.
How deep You Cut me.
With Your Actions & False Promises.
I Gave Myself To You.
All my Time And Love.
I was faithful & honest.
I Tryed nothing but strive to treat you right. I gave up anything just to spend time by your side.
You will never understand
You Are My 1st love, You Are Forever Apart Of me.
You are permanently imprinted In my heart.
I will never spend that amount of time with anyone Els.
I will never give all my time To another like I Gave You.
I was always there when you needed me.
You just won’t ever understand no matter what I remind you of.
My feelings for you are strong.
I love You so much that your bad for me . All because of all the unforgettable pain you put me through. There is no cure.

I Don’t Believe You.
When You say I’m The Only one.
Stop lying to me.
A light pretty Face with Big ******* are guaranteed to prove your own self wrong.
Just speaking and thinking about this topic has me urging for a fix.

I... just
Don’t even know what to Write about Anymore.
Every poem have the same meaning just written differently.
I’m just so saddened
I don’t know how Els to explain how upset I feel at life.
I feel so sorry for myself

I’m Down.
Il take all the risks now.
Lose that love For A Pound.
I’m tired of All this ****.
Back & fourth Arguing  
non stop B.s
I’m Really For it now.
I can’t take this useless life of mine
Doing nothing but wasting time.
**** it **** it
Yeah I’m All for it.
Take The risks that dope life brings
I’ve had enough
I hate sobriety
Dope love Baby , come save me
Oh your mad?
I don’t give a ****
I feel no pitty when I’m on
**** your feelings cause Il be gone
Had 6 years To Show me What you promised. Instead you constantly failed Me and showed Me Your just so ****** disloyal & Not Honest!
Rehab Can’t cure me.
Il turn to the razor.
It’s not Drugs I want
It now death i crave

9/23/17Idk What to feel Right Now.
I'm officially crushed.
Everything around me Is Fallen.
Dieing/dead/rottening.
I'm in deeep depression.
This isn't me. Where's my love for my pets? No where.
When he broke my heart, he broke everything around me too.
I've never been this sad in my life.
I've never been this sad in my life I just can't believe it. I can't believe anything I'm in shoxk
Idk idk good bye sobriety
I just want drugs to cure me
I want no help I need nothing
I'm lost in my head for being so forgiving. I lost all happiness
I don't hate or love nothing it isn't even The Drug . It's me, it's been me. I'm so tired of feeling sad and hurt. I've done nothing ****** Up enough to be blamed for.
This was another open door for me to realize what he's worth for.
Nothing baby , he isn't ****.
For him to really have told me he works and has **** to do broke me.
He has time for others, he has Time to conversate  with a group.
When it comes to me ?
He's tired
He's the reason my Bunnies are not being cared for properly
He broke my heart and crushed the little happiness in me
Where Are the drugs? I just want to get lost and go to another dimension where only I understand and no ones in my way To judge or Hurt me in any way.
I lost all hope
I don't know anymore
All I Want is to get High and never come back
Never experience reality again
I'm tired of it all
Thank you baby for officially taring me apart

Will I lose or will I break.
I can not let my Addict mind
Take over as it will convert quick &
dope will become my fate.
For ever Gone, unpaired & Lost.
Toss my self away to the drugs

The Klouds are in the morning.
As soon as I hear the birds chirping
Once the sun shines in.
Lines are For the night
Since I can’t flick the bics light
Lines last longer
klouds Hit stronger
Thank god for hot rails!
A combination of both ❤️❤️
The best of all is the needle
You feel all the **** blast through
Such a warm loving feeling.

This Is Not a Joke.
My addiction is no Comedy.
It’s A serious problem That’s affecting My life
& everyone around me.
It is Not the same Like in the beginning.
When Conversations Of “Getting Lit & Being On one” Were Looked As Funny.
Where I Talked Constantly About Loving this Drug And being induced.
**** Jokes Arnt hilarious Anymore.
As I Now Am The Joke.
I Can No longer Speak About crystal Like I used to.
“LOVELIT” Turned into “HELPME”
“DOPESPRUNG” turned into “ITSNOTFUN”
“BABYLOVE” Turned into “SAVEMESOMEONE”
I Got hooked Blindly.
Although I Speak Of Wanting To Be High Forever, I’m lieing.
It’s hard to explain
Just know, I Do want sobriety.

I'm Down
Lowering To the ground
With every minute that passes
I'm Caring less
Depression is manifesting
Addiction is controlling
I'm not wanting
These bad feelings are pouring
Bones are aching I feel so weak
I Don't Want, I feel I have too
I warned myself, where's my brain? The mentality of Wanting to change ? My hope? My strength?
Why don't I feel like changing anymore. I'm not afraid to lose Nomore
I'm feining now.. for tweak
IM sorry, I warned Me
I knew this would happen
I have already forgotten
I'm ok now, with being a Drug Addict ...
I lost my ways within 2 weeks
All because my heart broke
I lost my hope
It can't be

Same Broken Record
It's playing all day long
I'm singing & talking about the same ****** song.
How It hates life
Drugs are the only thing right
The cure to her diease was love
Sadly it ended up being with the wrong one.
It killed her
Not even a substance will make her feel Gone
Only reality, a slit to the wrist
Zone off From the deep cut
A slow sleep
Finally

I Want To bleed Out..
Why, Why couldn't it be true.
Y Couldn't you stay true
I'm still Inlove with us
All I Wanted was trust
I'm so saddened
I feel so lost
Not because of the drug
The facts That I believed in you
When it was lust you viewed
My hearts now broken
A feeling I wished to never be a victim too.
How i wish my imaginations were true. How I wish my dreams of You Were True.
You Were the one
I gave myself to you before you made me your 1.
I'm devastated
Not even the drug could cure it
My pain is so Deep
I've never felt this weak
I'm hurting more
Than I've hurt Before
I'm Wanting Nothing
But To Be free
Not from drugs, from misery
I want to bleed out & leave
What's the point in living?
You killed me
Nomore Chances, no more excuses
I suffered 4 years
Tortured with all your *******
It's so funny ...
How you still want to place yourself in a position where Your the one hurting ..
There is no more sorrys
No apology can ever fix me
You've accomplished
The days of pleasure & company
For your self
Your self centered ****** self
Never once hugged me
When I was crying & suffering
Never there for me
When I needed you the most
"the past , it was the past "
You continued Throughout the years. You never stoped hurting me. You still do till this day.
If you really cared? Then why tf is my heart now broken !!

This is why I want you
I need you right now
It's you who I cry for
Dopelove where are you?
I feel lonely and cold
I want your warmth & comfort
I love the way you listen to my words. You never judge, your so understanding. You try your best to keep me happy
Making me feel special & important
I don't need nobody
Just you
You give me everything noones could.
Honesty & loyalty
You listen and make me feel beautiful

What's there to be Sober
Please tell me?
My heart is broken
I have nothing to look forward to.
Everything is crushed
My emotions Are all ******
Not because the drug
But The fact I opened up
In fear of Getting Mistreated
That's exactly what I received
Betrayal that can't be forgivin
I can't forget
it haunts me every day
I knew It wasn't right to give my Love away to some I thought was the one to stay ..
I Was deceased
My Love Was Harshly Torn apart. I don't understand?
I was always doing Great.
That was my last chance of happiness
A Chance of being loved mutually was the only cure to resolve my sick drug addiction .
It failed
I have nothing to look up to anymore.
God doesn't exist
I deserve a good life

I don't care
How people might View me
I don't give a ****
Call me a Drug Addict
I don't give a ****
**** I love it
Why deny it?
Ew you crack head
Ha ***** Mind yours
Cause I love that world
Drugs and drugs
Yes, I love all of them

I'm tired of it all
The Thoughts , the Confusion
Stressing and over thinking
It's all overwhelming
I'm sober and I'm hurting
1 hit will solve everything
A Hit always makes it go away
My problems, my feelings
Everything  I've been thinking
Dope completes me
I don't need no one when I'm on
Don't need love or company
It gives it to me all
As Well as dearh
That's what I'm mainly seeking
An end

I Don't Want To!
I'm nearing my sober views & i know your scheming
Leading me to go and find you.
Please Stop
I can't do this
I can't hold you
Understand we must keep apart.
I know Your the main damage
Idk how you manage
To lure into my mind
Making me believe all these lies!
I know drugs are not right
Their is happiness I just need to search hard to find.
Stop it Babylove
Leave me , let me be
Get out of me
Set me free
I want to be normal
I do want to live sober
I don't want to hate Nomore
I've been miserable for too long
Since 5th grade I've been hating
I want to like myself
I want to feel proud
I want motivation
I mainly want to Accept myself
To feel pretty & confident
I deserve to smile
I'm tired of this froun and negativity.
Baby Love please help me in Another way without your taste
Make me hate you
Make you be the reason I gain strength.
Make your love be the reason why I shouldn't go back.
Remind me That using you is wrong.
Although it's the only thing that's ever Treated me best .
I'm now confused and I know that's you getting into my head
Your switching up my mind right now as I text
Your right...
Babylove how could I forget
Aslong as am With I don't need worry about all this

All I Wanted was Real love.
I just Wanted someone's touch
To be specific I Wanted him
He's the reason I gave in
To open up a side of me
that's never been seen
I allowed to love
I put my guard down
Something I've never done
For no one
Even The Thoughts of drugs slowly drove out
I was focused On
His where abouts
He became my new addiction
I got lost on his smile
idk What made me Fall in love
He was not Sweet, he wasn't nice
I guess it was the drug that put me in a dream.
It got me seeing things that I'd wish he'd really be like..
I wasn't right
Now I'm hating on my self
All these drugs
These ****** Drugs ****** me worser than I've been before.
Now because of this
I want them more.
This relationship has been a lie
The Substance but him in disguise
Oh my mind how it failed
To see the truth of what was real
That love I fell for
Wasn't ever real.
My babylove
It proved it's self
Thats the deal, that's the only thing that's never done me wrong.

*** is wrong with you?
Are you really ****** serious.
Knock it tf out before
I knock you out.
That **** ain't ok??
****** stupid ***!!
How can you seriously start thinking like that?!
He's your bf!
Don't let the dope get to your brain! He can't **** this!!

"I thought it was a dream, I thought it wasn't real
But pain really hurts and it's really how I feel
Memories keep coming back, and so do all of the tears
I hear your voice, and as quick as the smile came, it quickly disappears
I don't know what is happening, because you always held my hand

You said you would never let go, that is what I don't understand
So many promises you made, and more of them broken
Lost and confused, feels like I'm choking
A lot of things I did not say
Now I can't find my way

I feel like a boomerang, you throw me but not only that
Every time you throw me, I always seem to come back
Back to you, back to pain
Nothing has changed, you're still the same

I cannot start over because I don't know where to start
I guess that is what happens when someone breaks your heart
If we are supposed to follow our dreams, why can't I follow you
Because now I am so lost, I wish you were lost without me too"

I relieve all my Sadness at night.
That's when I can go all out.
Get high, Feel on one.
All my feelings vanish.
It's so great.
Throughout the Day I'm Usually Coming Down. It's wearing off
It was active throughout the night and Wore offf As the sun Came.,
My Bf hasn't seen me literally lit..
He never will. Il never let it happen.
My tolerance built fast.
The Day has came.
Where it's all gone
I can't buy more now.
Il Be back
I remebeeed  how good life was on drugs. Thank you lover for pushing my limits ❤️

I love the way you ignore me.
I love it when you make me feel like I don't exist.
I love The way You Say You care
Although you are never there.
To hold me & make me feel better.
You Always say an excuse when it comes To comforting me.
"You push me away, You talk ****"
Yet it's so easy for You to
Disrespect & Diss me.
How Can You carry that heart.
How can you express it to someone who's done nothing but listen and Obey.
For you to take advantage and Betray.
You'll fall inlove again.
I know You will.
With new *****.
A cute Face & Nice body.
Will hypnotize you &
il Be easy to forget.
Farewell

How can You gain irritation and Hate for me so quickly?
Frustration & anger So Easy?
Yet, I've done nothing Serious.
But
When it comes to some other
You Don't fuss or bother.
You Connect as if nothing , forget the situation & you continue to be friends.
It's me you have an issue with.
Why? What have I done?
I can't do more for you..
Cause You barely Show me affection...
I'm mutual now
Equal/even For everything
I'm done being a Puppet
Done doing What You Want me To
Bye now
Go be happy with Your Thirsty dog friends. Don't lie about , within that same Week You'll be back to your ******* ways.
Thank you for everything you have done. I'm still here
Lonely just getting drugged up to **** me slowly .

Find it gross that I've abused drugs? I find it disgusting That you play with girls hearts.
I don't care if it's a turn off.
I'm not trying to impress anyone but make my own self feel better.
In A Stage where all
Bad Doesn't exist
My life is all rotten so I feel nothing.
Which is good
Nobody wants me anyways.
I have no life , body or Pretty.