I'm not a perfect person
I still have rough-edged vice
Although I've sought and I've been bought
By the Lord Jesus Christ

On my last poetry venue
I was sure a geek
I made many enemies
On the website Poetfreak

I was green as new-mown grass
On the internet
I also dropped my med therapy
Was as crazy as it gets

I posted several poems
Of suicidal bent
Not one person commented
Not one message sent

So I said I was in hospital
For suicidal thoughts
I even had an alias
Who said that I was caught

In a cycle of depression
That I needed help
I needed people loving me
Yes. I did this in stealth

Then I felt so guilty
That shame had so much clout
I posted an exposé of what I'd done
So the truth would come out

Most people were quite good and kind
They understood my pain
But some were mean and hateful
And my guilt remained

So I made another alias
His name was Steelrelease
I wanted for to be a man
So I'd have respect at least

And boy did that become the case!
You know how males are
They respect their stronger ***
It looked like I'd go far

But there were flies in that ointment
As it did ensue
I became so popular
The women liked me TOO!

I met a little teenager
Who was suicidal
A little waif of a girl
And I could not be idle

And so I befriended her
I had her full respect
I should have known the outcome
Due to my male ***

When I did discover
What she began to feel
I could no longer lie to her
And so the truth revealed

Again some stayed by me
For they understood
But others were quite vicious
In that poetic neighborhood

I knew that I would never have
Chances to write free
So I made up other avatars
Other people I could be

Again and again I was found out
And I became blamed
There was a poet "Lucifer"
Who thought I should be shamed

He made several postings
Detailing my sins
Had many of his own
But poets he did win

Though I was repentant
He hounded me no end
I tried to get away from him
But he posted again

Then all of a sudden
Some ****** SPAM APPEARED!
Under my own avatar
It was very weird!

Somebody had hacked me
And posted that foul spam!
I know I didn't post it
FOR I KNOW WHO I AM!

I guess it didn't matter
That I posted again
That I had not done it
But that poem did not trend
It really mattered not
I tried to make amends

I had written poems
For poets on that site
No less than 50 people
Got a special write

I did not do that out of guilt
For I found that I enjoyed
The gratitude of people
From my work so employed

In the end I left Poetfreak
For he kept up his stuff
Lucifer was ruthless
And I had had enough.

So that is my story
I have now come clean
Some folks are unforgiving
Some folks are downright mean.

But I was in the wrong, you see
So they still laid claim
To my very character
They still rail and blame

Here on this good website
I'm friend to age and youth
I don't do what I did before
And I tell the truth

But you all know that there is talk
By a crazy one
That I still have aliases
In many minds has won

I don't support this person
But neither do I blame
He is bold and he's a troll
But he's totally insane.

Please forgive me people
I want for you to know
Now I am quite honest
Wherever I go

I am a minded writer
And I am a part
Of the HP community
And I have a HEART!

So can you have compassion?
I want for you to see
I have a arranged to be so changed

Please folks. Forgive me.


SoulSurvivor
(C) 7/8/2016

There was a vicar from Fife
Who never took a wife
Instead he toyed
With a choir boy
And buggered him up for life

A brackish lance of squandered resin,
Hurdles from the beacon shale, soldiered
To a least of blinding dwindles.

In epitaphs of silhouette
The spindle miradors retire
Earthbound castles martyred to
The coming of the rain

.

Watching the rise and the fall of a kingdom
Walls once rebuilt again tumble the ground
Allowing the beasties free reign in the village
Bellowing out o’er the wickedest sound

Pacing the streets, seeking out bits of garbage
Leaving their stains on the innocent few
Leering in windows where children are hiding
Tender young things and so easy to chew

Thieves in the night lurk about come the morning
Stealing the sun at the break of the dawn
Drinking of sewage a’ flow in the gutters
Checking off names as the many are gone

Peering ‘round corners, down alleys, in shadows
Seeking the favor of all who do grieve
Laughing in spite of the torment now growing
Licking their lips in the hope you believe

Roaming in groups so the followed outnumber
Say what you will for the king does not hear
Lost in his throne made of mirrors that flatter
Shivering, cowering, caving to fear

Deaf to the villagers asking for reason
Blind to the pillage befalling this land
Dumb, well I guess that just goes without saying
Nary a care what the people demand

Feasting on turkey, potatoes and gravy
Raising a glass to the enemy proud
Taking a stand against those who support him
Locking the front doors while yelling aloud

“Carry your torches, your pitchforks, your honor
It matters not for this evil shall win
Even when gone there are echoes of anger
Lingering on till they come back again

Give them your all, what you’ve poured your heart into
Down on your knees, bow to them one and all
Step over rock and the piles of rubble
This castle will stand even when the walls fall

Shout all you like as no change is forthcoming
Accept it or flee, you think I give a ****
When you are gone many more will replace you
Now pass those peas and a slice of that ham”

So roam the beasties, their teeth ever sharpened
Fanning the flames as so many are burned
Tearing apart what the people envisioned
Silly to think that they somehow had learned

Nothing so happy with no ever after
Always the same, it will happen again
But unlike some other long winded stories
Sadly in this I can not say “the end”

Watching the rise and the fall of a kingdom
Walls once rebuilt again tumble the ground
Thankfully I can peruse from a distance
Witnessing all without hanging around