Lying on my pillow, watching the new day unfold through my glass window... a burst of grey to blue grey to off white, with streaks of bright orange not too sharp but blended behind the thick  blue grey clouds...leaves of evergreen outlined with a touch of golden yellow... the birds singing a morning song, the gentle mountain breeze cool my face, I breathe in, still remembering the dreams of last night...it was peaceful  - it's a beautiful day and I'd like to bring this feeling where you are now :)

Opened my eyes,
look through the glass window from my bed,
See the sky at dawn,
white and dark blue blending as a background
for the still silhoutte tree
where hundreds of birds are singing
pulling me back to conciousness...
it's a beautiful morning.

The most ******* irony

"Ive been nothing but honest
I'm not what you think I am"

"Regardless of how our lives turn out
I will always love you"

"I love you but I have to go"

I talk of love
and you talk of sadness
maybe I'm really
a bad listener.

I wish I can
really reach down
into the depths
where you are.

I feel like I have
to go a thousand miles
deep down where
you buried your heart.

I didn't even know
if I would stand a chance.
I hate uncertainty.
I hate me for wanting you still.

I can feel the dew and the earth
sending sensation to my feet,
I'm walking barefoot and carefree as I can,
Why am I walking barefoot again?

Today I bury another dream
in my heart's graveyard
where no one weeps,
where it is dark,
where no angels trod.

What on earth just happened
happened so fast gone so fast
faster than the wind
What am I expecting
I guess it's this way
I only have one wish
don't feel bad about me
let's not be angry
with each other
let us stay as good memories
like a dream
I'll always long for
****.
I could have said goodbye first
and not let you go through that
but I can't bring myself to do it
sorry I made you go through that
that wasn't easy
you're not a coward
you're braver than I am
you face reality head on
while I run away
I'll keep you in my heart
as for that curse
it was not true
you made me feel alive again
feel something
love, hurt
at least i feel something
but I guess I failed
coz I just made you numb
I see things the way I want to see them
hear things the way I wanna hear them
but you made me hear and see what's real
thank you for the memories.
I won't love again.
It's that lesson
I'll make sure I learn this time.
sleep tight.
I hope you meet great people
be what you wanna be
soar as high as you should
coz you're meant for that.
I just hope to know you even for a day.
thanks for staying for a while.
I love you.
goodbye.

At any rate my heart is ready for any joke,
I've been a joke all my life
It's been a funny ride
But I guess hearts get tired.

Will surrender to this feeling
and see where it takes me,
bracing my heart
for this ride,
all set
now.

Butternut squash roasting,
the fresh garden scent
after the rain,
Cold wind on my face,
I drift for a moment...
Wonder where you are...
what you're doing...
what's your world like...
If you think of me too...
but I can only wonder
and that's how I make
memories of you.

The meanest thing you can do to a sad person
is say I love you and then leave.

I love you. You have no idea how much I miss you. It's raining now and I've been awake since 1:00AM, it's now 3:22AM. I'm sorry for being this way, for sleeping when I was suppose to see you. I feel really bad now. I'm just alone and sad and I miss you.

It ***** that I can only talk to you when you're in the library, but I understand your situation, I'm counting days, I know it's even harder for you. I'm glad you're down to one meeting a week and that they trust you now, Im so proud of you, for putting all the effort, for us. I love you.

My schedules are crazy now and it will even be crazier come December 27 and next year, but eventhough sometimes we can't catch each other on given times, please know that I love you so much.

It's raining and it's cold, I wonder how you are now,
I hope we can cuddle on a weather like this.
I hope it's not too cold where you are,
I hope you're all warm and rested.
I hope you're dreaming sweet dreams,
I hope you're dreaming of me cuddling you,
On a rainy night,
and hear me whisper "I love you"
I hope time travel do exists.
Then I'd surprise you when you least expect it.
I'm sorry for spamming you like this,
but I just imagine talking to you.
I tried talking to people at 7 cups
but it doesnt make sense.
I love talking to you.

Yes, but Im a sleepyhead. Someone at the listener community room said he has to go and record a bedtime story for someone, and I remember you all the more and make me miss you more.

I love how you talk me to sleep.
I love how you're patient with me.
I love how you dont get *******
when I know you miss talking to me so much
and Im just there in front of you sleepy
and you talk me to sleep.
I love how selfless you are.

I love you honey.
I miss your voice,
I miss your laughter,
I miss your banter, (or maybe not.)
I just miss you.
I miss my love.
It's a long night.

I wonder how it is in your room on a time like this.
Do you just sleep like a baby
Do you feel alone and lonely too
I miss you.
This rain is making things nostalgic.

I hope youre having a good laugh with mom and Ian
or having a good time playing with the dogs.
I hope I can be beside you while you sleep
and I can watch you sleeping when I wake up at this hour.
I'll watch you sleeping till I fall back to sleep again,
in your arms.

I love you.

Did I form you in my head?
Did I conceived you in my dreams?
Are you make-believe?
Are you a product of
my imagination?
Are you real?
'cause like all things
too good to be true
I know you'll disappear.
That way, I am cursed.

You feel nothing
Yet it is the worst of feelings.
Deprived of the power to feel,
it hurts in between breathing.
Emotionally unresponsive,
your mind refuses to think,
your heart refuses to hurt
but later you'll feel
something warm
making its way
from your eyes
down your chest
and you don't know why
coz you're numb.

I see a boy, all afraid
you're suppose to have everything,
QP you're born with it.
A silver spoon in your mouth
they thought you lack nothing
but QP you don't know warmth.
That terrified look
every time she threatens to be gone
you were only a boy
and she was mom
I see the tears and the fears
you've live all your life
QP they have everything
but they can't give you time.
When you learn to trust
but she went and break you
learn to trust again
and this time didn't want you
QP everything seems lost
but QP you're not
you're gonna be okay
things will get better
let go of those demons
QP you're big now
let them scare you no more.
You're going to be great
QP you are safe
don't hide anymore.

Every moment,
Every second,
Every minute,
Every morning,
All the feelings,
It was real.

I was alive again,
I find myself dreaming,
which is a wonder.

I have to steady
my silly silly heart
for wanting too much.

A quiet room
A million thoughts
but none makes sense
so I'll drift away
to nothingness.

If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain
In the ice or in the sun it's all the same
Yet I feel my heart is aching
Though it doesn't beat it's breaking
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
I know that I am dead
Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed
-The Corpse Bride

Throbbing
Aching
Itching
My tongue can't help it
Keep touching it
oh gum stitches!

Oh, little prince! Bit by bit I came to understand the secrets of your sad little life . . . For a long time you had found your only entertainment in the quiet pleasure of looking at the sunset. I learned that new detail on the morning of the fourth day, when you said to me:
"I am very fond of sunsets. Come, let us go look at a sunset now."
"But we must wait," I said.
"Wait? For what?"
"For the sunset. We must wait until it is time."
At first you seemed to be very much surprised. And then you laughed to yourself. You said to me:

"I am always thinking that I am at home!"
Just so. Everybody knows that when it is noon in the United States the sun is setting over France.
If you could fly to France in one minute, you could go straight into the sunset, right from noon. Unfortunately, France is too far away for that. But on your tiny planet, my little prince, all you need do is move your chair a few steps. You can see the day end and the twilight falling whenever you like . . .
"One day," you said to me, "I saw the sunset forty-three times!"
And a little later you added:
"You know--one loves the sunset, when one is so sad . . ."
"Were you so sad, then?" I asked, "on the day of the forty-three sunsets?"
But the little prince made no reply.
-The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Tell me butterfly with a broken wing
does it hurt?
I bet it hurts like crazy
'cause you don't wanna move.
'Happened to me once.
So just stay still
it may lessen the pain
I wonder who did this to you
or what happened.
It doesn't matter,
I perfectly understand
but here in my hands
I can't let you stay
I have to let you go
butterfly with a broken wing.
I want to keep you forever
because you are lovely
and I do not see you as broken at all
but I know I can't
you might die here and leave me
feeling guilty and lonely.
You don't belong
in this tight space with me
'cause you were meant to fly
you lovely white butterfly
I can never call you mine.
So I'm doing you a favor
granting your very wish
I dont know if you will survive,
if you will or not
I did what is right.
'Cause you should be there in the field
among the flowers
that's the way things should be
it's best for you
and better for me.
Don't forget me
goodbye butterfly with a broken wing,
I pray you heal.

Get your **** on
Don't be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong
So they like you.
Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up,
You don't have to change a single thing.

When you're all alone,
by yourself
Do you like you?

Talk me to sleep;
let your heart speak,
deep and calming,
peaceful, soothing...
say your promises
say how much
you love me
speak of our dreams
I need to hear it.

Let me put
this feeling on repeat
I'll hold on to this,
this voice that I miss...

I'll play this
over and over
stay in this feeling
'till one day
I'll be on your arms;
My fingers
tracing your lips
and I'll hear you
once again
talk me to sleep.

If I am that awesome,
why am I so lonely?
If am that great,
Why do I feel the need to hide?
As you said,
I'm just a poor little girl
in a big bad world.

All the time we've shared
You said you've been nothing to me but honest
but why is it that up to now
I feel there's something about you I wish I knew

We're you playing like me from the start
but then got caught up in the web of lies
lonely hearts meeting at a cross road
and suddenly connected by hidden desires

Did you pity me while you witness my sadness from a distance?
You saw an angel weeping but doubt maybe you saw a demon
Did you stay for a while to see how angels weep
or because you're too kind you cannot leave

Who are you? Where are you from?
Why did you came into my life
when I was crying my teary song
My eyes closed that evening on a shore  
You came and whisper sweet nothings
my heart and spirit lifted up
Tear stain on my cheeks, lips forming a smile
and I thought all these years
I've waited and he finally came
but when I open my eyes
there's a silhouette in the mist
and you were gone.

Who are you? Why?

We sure defy every rule.
Became close for a day
love each other the day after,
make dreams on the next,
it was really perfect,
except that I'm not.
On the fourth day
decided to do what is right.
We broke up.
After an hour talk to each other
like we're really good friends
and say good morning
and goodnight.
I know you're being kind
and I was contented
that at least I can talk to you
even as your friend.

I close my eyes
remember a warm shy smile
and live in that moment
seven days ago,
when I was loved
and desired by you.

It doesn't matter
if You brush the rain or not from my face,
it doesn't matter
if You lift this burden
or make it heavier by the day,
It doesn't matter many tears have to fall,
just give me the eyes to always see,
the wisdom to always know
and a heart that understands.
And in times I neither see, know or understand
- enough FAITH and TRUST
that You're my Creator,
You are my Father,
You are my King,
You are my God
and it is always Your will to be done.