we shatter ourselves into pieces every day and give those pieces away with every tear, every hurt, every smile, and every laugh. we leave pieces of ourselves with others to help them make it through their day. sometimes we give more than we should to those undeserving of them and sometimes we do not give freely enough to those who are worth so much more than we could ever give. but if at the end of the day when I close my eyes I have only small fragments  left, I will be happy knowing that the pieces I gave brought at least a small comfort to those that I love♡

until now I never knew you could actually feel your heart breaking.
it's a pain that's almost indescribable.
it's almost like a rope that is coming undone, as each string unravels and snaps, the snap is the pain that you feel over again until one day there are no strings left to snap and you're left with pieces that can't be made whole again.
that's what I feel my life has become, trying to make the pieces fit back together.

that's how I feel about my life.
I'm not sure if it's even happening to me.
sometimes I try to curl up into a little ball thinking I can make myself smaller and smaller until I just disappear.
it hasn't happened yet.
I'm still here.
this is what happens in movies.
the sad ones that make you cry because they don't end right and you're left yelling at the screen because you want a rewrite.
where's my rewrite?
because right now I'm feeling like this is *******.
is this supposed to be what they call karma?
I don't remember doing anything this bad.
not to deserve my life now.
but life happens right?
and it's not fair?
when does all that good stuff happens to good people kick in?
I guess that's the real dream,
thinking that it's ever going to get better,
waiting for everything to work out and make itself right.
you found something you didn't even believe in and it was so short lived that it feels like it never happened at all.
and you're wasting your dreams now on something that wasn't real to begin with.
because it was all a dream.
and all you did was wake up.

after all her anxious scribbling
while chasing late night demons dreaming
she looks at the sky.
now it's so hard not to cry.
heavily sighing, but why?
is it even worth trying? oh I...
I don't know, I think I'll
save my tears for someone worth my time.
your pretty face isn't one that ever crossed my troubled mind.
when our flaws were all undone
in this battle no one has won.
and the mess we made
lies in scattered pieces on the floor.
you know I've always played it safe
too afraid of all the words I really want to say.
because I know aliens are real
so I'll never wish on shooting stars.
I can fly away in my ufo
while you drive off in your car.
heavily sighing, but why?
is it even worth trying? oh I...
and I don't mind
saying I'm a little cray from time to time.
you aren't the reason for all my sleepless nights.
but when our flaws have come undone
in this mess we have become
our hearts now shattered, lie in pieces on the floor.
oh I, I think I'll
save my tears for someone worth my time.
your pretty face isn't one that ever crossed my troubled mind.
now our flaws are so undone.
oh, what a mess we have become.
has nothing else mattered?
we can't pretend quite like before.
my heart just shattered, is it still beating?
because I swear I'm barely breathing anymore.

the only comfort I can find in sleep tonight is the fleeting thought that I may dream of you.
and for a short time I might find myself once again in your arms before I wake to realize it's no longer real.
dreams give us what we no longer have in waking, and for some poor fools it's the only peace we will ever find.