I cant breath
When I imagine
How you used to
Look at me

I can't breath
When I remember
The last words
You said to me

I cant breath
When I remember
How you threw me away
Without a care in the world

I cant breath
When I remember
All the times
You didn't want me

I
CANT
BREATH

Please
Just set me free

I dont wanna live with
These memories anymore

I dont wanna suffer
Every night
When I remember
Exactly how your touch
Felt

I cant handed it
NOT ANYMORE

Please
Just let me go
Set me free
From all the memories

I'm scared
That something
May have happened
To you

So in my heart
And in my head
I cant stop wishing
And whispering
For you
To please
Say no

At this point
Even if
Its a lie
I'd rather you say no
Then have to live with knowing
That it happened

AGAIN

Because it seems as though
These things
Like to follow me
Wherever I go

So if I make myself look sick
Look hurt
Look unappealing
Will you leave me alone?
Will you leave me be?

I dont want to feel this way
So strongly again

So please
Say no

Come with me at midnight
Traverse an obstacle course
Leading to my heart
And into my soul

Come with me at 1
Run through the park
With no care in the world
But your hand in mine

Come with me at 2
Dance with me
In the middle of a field
Like only we exist

Come with me at 3
Tell me all the secrets
Your heart carries
And I'll tell you mine

Come with me at 4
Let me pour out my soul
As you hold me close
And I hide in your warmth

Come with me at 5
Look at me with weary eyes
And kiss me in disguise
As I melt from the look in your eye

Come with me at 6
As we return to reality
With me in your arms
And you mine

I love the time I spend with you
It makes me want to do better
And it makes me want to try
And do things on my own
With you watching
And guiding

I loved cuddling under the bridge
Watching as it rained
And dripped a bit on us

I loved kissing you that first time
It made my heart melt
And made me feel warm inside

I loved when you played with my hair
You did it with such care
When I never even asked you

I love when you stare at me
It makes me feel shy
And a little pretty

I love when you rub my arm
And my back
It makes me feel comfortable
And safe in your arms

I love laughing with you
It makes me feel free
And mostly at ease

I love making you smile
It makes my heart warm
And makes me feel worth it

I love your hair with all its floof
Its cute when it gets in the way
And I have to move it to kiss
All the sadness away

I love the way you make me feel
As if maybe I can keep going
And finally be real with someone
Without having to worry

I love when I get to hold you close
It makes me feel wanted
And like you're okay with me wanting you

I love when you laugh
At all the small things I do
Even when I have to just wonder why

I love seeing the way you feel
When I look you in the eye
Because I know it's not bad
And I don't have to worry

I love all the smiles you bring to my face
It takes only a small amount of effort
Of just being you

I feel as though I'm empty
And as if my feelings will overflow

I feel as though I love you
And as if I cant feel at all

I feel as though I want to try
And as if I've given up on life

I feel as though I want to see you smile
And as if I want to erase it from my mind

I feel as though you made me happy
And as if you broke me apart

I feel as though I feel too much
And as if I don't feel at all

I feel as though I want to be alone
And as if I never want to let you go

I cantradict myself
And my feelings when it comes to you
But also when it comes to me

I wish to not feel this way
As you dont feel this way for me

Every night I flee
I flee the place most would call home
For to me the place is just a house

Every night I escape
I escape into my mind
While music follows close behind

Every night I drown
I drown in every feeling I've ever felt
In the feeling of unconsensual hands
Brought on by the memories in my mind

Every night I go outside
Into the dark as it holds me tight
Closer and safer then any person
Has ever felt

I can be me
I can be free
But thats honestly
Scary

I think of all the times I said no
And the times I couldnt speak

I think of all the times no ones listened to me
But then they treat me like I never said a thing
And I become a problem

I scream in my mind
Feeling left behind

I claw at desperate feelings
Of the smallest sliver of happy

I crave the warmth and safety
That I felt in your arms
The arms that are no longer mine
But still hold me close from time to time

I fade from reality as I wish to escape to a place
With no more pain

But I dont want to die
For I fear to be alone

I dont want to die knowing I always had to be on my own
Except for those short 2 years
With you.

I drown as I gaze
Into the endless blue
Of the sky

I think of all the poeple
Possibly doing the same

Thinking about this
Thinking about that
Thinking about everything
And nothing

As you stare into the endless blue
Are you thinking of me
As I think of you

As you stare into the endless blue
Do you think or heartbreak
And what could have been?
Or do you think of love
And what is?

As you stare into the endless blue
Are you sad
And lonely?
Or happy
As you can confidently say
"I have someone to hold me"

Everyone who spirals
Into the endless blue
Will spiral into thoughts
About everything
And nothing

But the question is
Are you happy
Or depressed?