It's only been about a week
But I can already tell
That I'm falling for you

When you look me in the eye
My stomach fills with butterflies

When you hold my hand
I feel safe
And as if
I never wanna let go

When you pull me close
I feel warm
And as if
I want to hold your heart
Close to mine forever

When I hear your voice
My face flushes with excitement
And I feel as if
I want you to never stop talking

When you play the bass
I get lost in thought
And I feel as if
I could stay right there forever

When you comfort me
I feel understood
And I feel as if
I could tell you anything

I know it's only been
About a week

But my heart feels as it
It's falling for you

You watch
And you wait

You wait for an opportunity to strike
But not through eyes of your own

You watch and you wait through the eyes of others
And of cameras conveniently placed

You watch and you wait behind false walls of safety
For you fear the actuality of potentially being caught

So you flee the front lines and watch from afar
Through the eyes of others watching in fall

You wait for me to falter
To waver
To crack
But I won't let it show

I won't show that I'm always on edge
Waiting for eyes to be following me
Across the ledge of privacy

I won't show that I'm afraid
To step away from this home
Where even in safety I feel scared and alone

I won't show that my heart breaks Whenever someone tells me they'll try
To do something to you

For I know they cant
And they may never be free if they try
Because deep down
I know
That you wont hesitate to hurt
Maybe even to ****

Even though I may
Waver
Falter
Then break

I wont show it for when I do it'll be
My own silent escape

Consume me within you

As I walk through the dark
Through the gate of another world
Consume me within you

Wrap me in your pain
And consume me within your rage

You are my companion
And my worst fear

You whisper to me the lies people tell
Then turn around and whisper your own

You whisper to me the hate in peoples hearts
Then turn around and consume me within your own

Sometimes I wish for you to let me go
But without you
I feel as if I'm no one

Nonexistent

Like the smallest whisper carried by the wind
Could wisp my will away

So no
Don't go

Wrap me in the dark
And pull me into the darkest corners of reality
As you consume me
Within you

I have had many houses
But never a home
Until I found you

When I was younger I didn't have a home
In the sense that
My heart was alone

When I was younger I didn't have a home
In the sense that
I couldn't drop the fake smile
Until I was on my own

I didn't have a home
Just a house or two
But then
My heart led itself to you

I no longer feel alone
Because now my heart is yours
And yours mine

I no longer feel alone
Because now I know I can be myself
Even when around you

I no longer feel alone
Because now I live with you
For the time being
And you have made this place feel like a home

So
I'm no longer alone with only a house

For now I have you
And you come with a home

And I know that even when I leave
I won't be alone

I find myself missing you

I wake up to our memories calling my name
I fall asleep to my forbidden fantasies
Pulling me away

I find myself missing you
Night
And day

But
I'm happy
With who I'm with now
So why does my heart remind me of you
Whenever I take a break
From the smile on my face

I was too broken for him
And too broken for her
Eventually you're gonna see
That I'm too broken for you

I say things are fine
When really they aren't

I do this because
I don't want you to leave
I don't want you to break my heart

But doing this tears me apart

But now you brought stuff up
That's started a fight
And it's pulling you
Away from me

I waited for you to say
I love you
And you finally have
But not in the setting I wanted
As you have now left me here
On my own
Because you need to think

But please
Don't be like everyone else

Don't leave me

In reality
I'm alright
Theres a smile on my face
I say "I'm okay"
You see a person
Whose happy
And positive

Metaphorically
The I'm alright screams help
The smile says save me
The I'm okay really says "see the truth"
I'm not a person anymore
I'm my own monster
I'm sad
And broken

In reality
I'm pretty
Beautiful
And cute
You see someone whose thin
You see someone with nice hair
You see someone with beautiful eyes
You see someone whose looks seem flawless

Metaphorically
I'm ugly
Unattractive
And unappealing
I see someone whose overweight
I see someone whose hair needs to be changed alot to look okay
I look in my eyes and all I see is my demons
I look at my self and all I see is scars
The visible
And invisible

In reality
My mom seems happy
My dad is not as bad
My brother is nicer
My dog is less afraid
I have friends
I'm mentally alright
Theres nothing but the dark at night

Metaphorically
My moms not alright
My dad is worse and gradually becoming more comfortable around me
My brother is always putting up an act
My dog is oblivious
My friends are the shadows
My mentality is destroying itself
And theres monsters that lurk in the night

This is my metaphorical actuality
Because
The metaphors are the reality
And the reality is my metaphor