It is always there
underneath it all
the walls and barbed wire
the locked doors
this entire
facade
he wears every second
night and day.
Only slipping through cracks
when he's weak and he breaks.
Like when he pushes himself
to the end of his strength
so he can't hold the tears
he's refractured again.
Just a broken boy
all alone
demonized as a man.
Though he does
what he knows is right
when he can.
No matter his efforts
it is never enough
So detached he becomes
from the people he loves.
They've sewn his mouth shut,
and they keep lighting matches.
So he'll let their world burn
when the straw at his stake catches.

And all there is is silence
Trudging through calf deep snow.
Under sleeping winter trees.
And there's no sound.
One foot after the other.
Powder snow and smokey breath.
Painful air stabs.
But no sound.
No wind in the trees
No snapping branch.
No creature stirs.
No crunch underfoot.
No rushing water
as the frozen falls near,
the woods end.
The black water runs
beneath the creeping ice
along the bank.
Stepping out onto the edge.
Plunging down without a breath.
And there's no sound.

A noose holds a candle
burning at both ends.
A dead man holds
his dagger pierced heart.
Offering it to her.
Giving,
giving,
giving,
and they keep
taking,
taking,
taking.
There's nothing left.
Never again.

Upheaval.
In just a few small moments
everything I thought
about what was right and wrong
necessary and expected
desired and required
topples and crashes down
burning to ashes in a pile
on the ground.
At the forefront of my mind.
I did my duty of love
and what I knew to be true.
But the cycle of violence,
manipulation, and abuse
is what you still choose.
I will not be pulled into
these emotional, horrible, perpetual games.
So don't invite me to them.
Don't come to me with questions
when you will not heed the answers.
Don't present me problems
if you don't wish them solved.
I am human too and my peace is all I have.