When you broke up with me
I would listen to Olivia Rodrigo on repeat.
I listened to her lyrics
as if they were the Bible
because she was the only one
who knew what I was feeling.
And though I've moved on,
hearing her songs still bring me to tears
because my heart still remembers
the way my voice rose
when I begged for you back
over and
over and
over again.
My heart still remembers the days
I was too afraid to face my friends
who wanted you dead
or the nights I spent crying
because you weren't there to comfort me.
And even though you've told yourself to forget
those times we tenderly shared,
I know my heart will always remember.
Because I will always play those same **** songs
over and
over and
over again.

My life is one of the China teacups
my grandmother collects,
pretty and perfectly in place
on the outside,
but on the inside
I'm just one push off the table from
s
   h
a
   t
t
   e
r
   i
n
   g

We got back together
but it doesn't feel like
we're starting over from the beginning.
Because as I breathed life into our future,
you just continued to dig up the past.

Why am I always crying?
Everyone around me is always
so lighthearted and upbeat
laughing and
talking and
smiling and
I'm just sitting off to the side
with a sour look on my face,
feeling like I'm on the outside peering in,
like I don't belong.
What is their secret?
What are they doing that I'm not?
Why can't I just be like everyone else?
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I be happy?!

They say the truth sets you free,
but it only puts me in chains,
roots me like a tree
no matter what society claims.

Sometimes I start thinking
What if I had lied?
Would I still be sitting here sinking?
Would you not have cried?

Sometimes some things
should be taken to the grave.
Because the truth hurts, it stings.
I never said I was brave...

There is a place where my world ends
And before your's begins,
And there is a bridge that's old and broken
And there no words are ever spoken
And there my thoughts are free and open
To drag me down and condemn.

Let me leave this place where I'm all alone
And stuck with demons I cannot defend.
Past the oceans filled from my tears
I shall run with a run that may take years,
And past my most delicate and darkest fears
From the place where my world ends.

Yes I'll run with a run that may take years
And past my most delicate and darkest fears.
Oh, but I'll always hear the screams in my ears
From the place where my world ends!

Over the years you've
played with my heartstrings,
pulled them taught,
became my puppeteer.
I tried to convince myself
that I didn't need you,
that I would be happier
without your harsh words
or controlling nature.
But without you I lay in a lifeless heap
unused
unloved
umimportant
Because you're he only one who sees me
even if It's just for my body
instead of my brain.
And even if I never know what love feels like
I'll at least  feel the tension from the strings
tearing me away
when I try to follow my own path.
Because if I've learned anything
pain feels better than feeling nothing at all.