our interactions have become meaningless in an irrelevant way which is very compatible with my happiness but there’s still hope for you in the grand scheme of things I’m sure of it
I’ve experienced so much love and tenderness in my life my heart often feels bursting with gratitude for all the loves so much so that I sometimes wonder if I’m not dying because it feels like the culmination of something
but maybe that’s just the deepening intensity of life
I dreamed European airport tellers stole from me five crisp new hundred dollar bills smug old white men with smoke stained fingers and invincible plexiglas protection my mother appeared brief and sympathetic I appreciated her show of support
all that time I thought I was in love I felt weightless unbound by Newtonian theorems limitless, I had tapped into the physics of immortal love that’s how it seems now as I gaze into the night sky back in the chains of gravity
I have this amazing handle on reality now you would be so proud of me I carved it myself out of driftwood it has horns and wings and is painted ocean sunset colors with glitter dried seaweed streamers it is very practical
I had so much love this morning I drowned my dog in it now he’s following me everywhere close behind staring at me with star glazed eyes tail permanently raised as a flag of devotion I’m the key to his happy portal and somehow that makes him mine
I asked for love. Not what I had in mind. But I’m not complaining. Anymore.
do you want to know something I find outrageously funny while culturally very different Christians and Muslims are historically and philosophically neighbors like you couldn’t get much closer to the exact same belief system so get along people get over the colors of yourselves you’re not so long lost siblings
I wish you happy, playful feelings today glow in the dark feelings unicorn rainbow sticker feelings the kind of gentle, innocent, inspiringly optimistic feelings I had when I kissed you goodbye on the cheek that time after you told me to stay on my side of the car but I snuck that kiss in anyway because I just couldn’t help it and I thought it would be sweet and encouraging
also, I want to have *** with you feelings I’ll throw in some of those too
she’s got a demon clearly a fat, happy thing, making the most of easy street and she’s not too bright I suppose I should feel compassion you certainly aren’t helping but maybe it’s all tied together in your mind that, or you’re a sick ******* ugh, compassion all around alright then here goes this round’s on me everybody
I’ve lost them the rest of the thoughts I wanted to give you this moment they’re gone but they were wonderful I assure you they were... but I’ve got more for the rest of your life I promise— I’ve got more
it’s true, you are a terrible disappointment a heartbreaking disappointment I get my hopes up time and time again... couldn’t you please just this once this year this day this time I beg you please just this once get me the good chocolate
Happy V Day all you happy couples! Hope you get all the good stuff!
I can barely take care of my self let alone this whole house but I’m glad it exists I like the space I like not feeling claustrophobic I like the long walk from the kitchen through all the rooms up the stairs through all the rooms to the bathroom
there’s lots of potential in all the spaces I have plans for every corner every wall murals and tapestries and furniture that doesn’t exist or at least I’ve never seen anything like it what’s in my mind it all exists in my mind even if in reality it’s just blank
I cannot sleep I am greatly concerned with matters of equity and social justice plus, there is a St. Patrick’s Day sale on wireless remote control vibrators
and that’s how you do it you say, no, you are wrong I am not this person
unless you enjoy playing games with them, being the object of their misplaced infatuation stringing them along for years which, whatever man, to each his own but you know, that’s weak
I’ve got to respond to protect myself for the record a woman can never relax she has to try harder the bar is higher she’s constantly under scrutiny and judgement they can raise their voices but she can’t they can be disrespectful but she can’t get frustrated it used to be my happy place now I can barely walk in the door anxiety and panic daily it’s time to go I can’t stomach it any longer literally I’m throwing up I have hope though there’s a better place a safer place and I have excellent references
are you upset I won’t make him leave? the father of my son? in the middle of this economic crisis covid thing? when we all need all the support we can get? hell, you wouldn’t even block some crazy ***** but had no trouble blocking me when I asked for explanations or your name oh ****, I guess I am angry huh.
if I gave you a hug would you feel a hug? or a claustrophobic squeeze? if I sent you a picture would you see my need to connect? or steal my soul with your eyes? if I left you a flower would you smell the sweetness of hope? or the decay of lost possibilities? if I kissed your lips would you taste desire? or fear?
I needed you then I needed help a smile a hug I needed your willingness to be there for me but I’ve got through it alone just don’t bother if you ever did
there’s nothing in this world to count on not even your own thoughts each person is a boat lost in a sea of illusory context the mast holds as long as the weather sometimes there’s a fantastic sunset sometimes there’s sharks all you can do is touch the water and tell yourself that you exist