I loved Frankenstein
but he sailed into the sunset on a flimsy dingy
I hope he makes it
to whichever fairytale he’s headed next

don’t give me any buts
and I won’t give you any
except maybe one small ****
which is perfectly acceptable

I can see
just now
this very moment
how you would think me a liar

because I remember that night
(so long ago)
when you complained
I look so young
(like, jealously)

and I said—

you look young too…

but you called me a liar

you called me a liar
but it was true
it was true and I believed it
but you couldn’t

it’s just like when I tell you
—I love you—

Who would you tell?
And what?

I’m in love with you
so
I hope you like me

I’m jumping! I’m jumping!
I’m flipping and twisting!
I’m jumping!
I’m old

there are moments I feel
wildly horrible
unbearably self deprecating
suicidally hopeless

and the next few moments
endlessly amused
fantastically entertained
immortally serene

will I give up?
or transcend?
it’s quite an exhausting ride
this life

I’m sure it’s nothing to do with me
I’m not that important
Or so I’ve been told

farewell then, sweet prince
your unicorn is sleeping
and I must take flight
with my dragon

as far as I can see
the only reality
is you
avoiding me

indefinitely

I never know what to do
with my hands
someone please tell me

I never know what you’re talking about
but that’s ok
I like the sound of your voice

never ending spin
thread, spin, thread
spin
weightless baby bird

in my dream tonight
you will have no face
you will be a wraith
hovering over me in the dark
then a mist
guiding me through thick black forest
then a sentiment
resting against my face in the sun
and I will sleep well

my lungs lost their balance
they are swish swashing around
forgetting how to breath
they are exclaiming, whooah-oh!
and falling down
like little kids playing in the sand

morning has come again
but my bed won’t let me go
don’t worry bed
you will have my dreams again this night

the smoke passes over my lips
as you once did
the present and the past confer
as legislators
on important matters
of global concern

I got confused
it happens
in my defense
the voices were REALLY loud
and persistent
they invaded my dreams
took over my mind
told me a story I wanted to believe
it was my fault for listening
I know they’re all liars
but the circumstances you created
were irregular
I never stood a chance
against all those lies
the ones inside
and out

I know I haven’t said lately but
you’re wonderful and perfect and
there’s nothing wrong with you at all
...in the grand scheme of things

sometimes I try to do a thing
but I can’t
then I realize
I shouldn’t have to do that thing anyway

I suppose I should thank you
for not stealing all my money
or terrorizing me digitally
or posting naked pictures of me somewhere
although, maybe you did
how do I know?
there’s only so many **** sites I keep up with

is this your house?
are my windows your windows?
do we share a sky?
is it... your closet?

is this like that time
I asked if you had ***** problems
or that time I called you a scary stranger
or is it like that time
I accidentally
had *** with Philip
a few times

the farther away I get from him
the better I feel
and I realize
what is right
for me
is this what you feel?

because I don’t need


anyone

do I still exist?
I think so
I have a house
a family
friends
I work some days, not others
I have a phone, email
various social media accounts
I am not invisible
or untouchable
or unreachable
I think I still exist
I definitely do

I’m going to commit a ******
then we’ll have leverage on each other
which is the foundation of all trust
and I can afford the plane tickets

if you’re sad
sing a song
a song that feels really good to sing
sing it loud
don’t hurt yourself now
but really sing it out
do it as many times as you need
for me that’s at least 3 times
but usually I keep going to 6 or 7
then
well then you have to go with it
maybe sing other songs
maybe some jumping around
maybe fold the laundry
it could lead anywhere

if I ever saw him again
things might be different
but I don’t expect I will
so it is what it is

he’s got the nicest smile of anyone I’ve ever seen
…
the end

it’s no wonder we’re anxious
paranoid
that we have boundary issues
when those of us who can hear
would be called schizophrenic
when we are all being watched
every moment of our lives
not by tech companies
or the government
or aliens (they’re no different)

but by them

the dead
the angels
demons
parasites
the non-corporeal
...our souls
it’s very stressful
trying not to betray them
or ourselves

I might have loved you
you never know
I loved him
and he was nothing special
(well, obviously I thought he was but I was biased)
my point is
I did love him
and he didn’t give a rats ***
like you said
just junk floating in a river

so I could’ve
I might’ve
loved you
it’s possible

I don’t know
I guess we’ll never know

I wish there was someone to enjoy it
Soft warm silent creature
Smooth pinkish sigh

she is ok, I think
she went back to her safe place
you’re there too, she said
everyone is
it’s very lovely, I hear

I know, dear
it wasn’t me
but who was it?

I’ve decided we can’t be friends
I’m going to be someone else now
and she’s very busy
with 6,999 bad poems to write

in the afternoon sun
the evening rain
the soft morning breeze

in the
still
moon
light

I want you

a little bit at a time
until there is just enough
of someone you want

and she jumped out of bed
with love and dance
and your face

your name makes me embarrassed
I can’t say it
I can say all of the other things
but not your name
not without smiling
shyly and stupidly

you are an eccentric juggler
though not too many appreciate your niche
or even get it really

I’m afraid of the dark
I have nightmares and I see things
things everywhere when I wake up
twisting moving pulsing shifting
shapes in space
I can feel them too
can almost make them out
I try not to look too close
I don’t want to see
I’m scared

you are standing there
but I am looking... elsewhere
not disclosing how keen is my peripheral vision

every day I release pains into the air
tufts of dandelion that ignite under the sun
I offer up the hurts
sacrifices to a blank slate
so I can appreciate a new day
so I can appreciate life
so I can keep loving

I used to think I had the key
or I could find the key
or make the key
but he told me
there is no key

isn’t this what you wanted?
for things to be as they are?
for me to forget everything?
and be just your subject?
haven’t you got everything?
everything you ever wanted?

the kitty stretches
lithe across her feather bed
she’s ready for belly rubs and head scratches
purring contentedly in her oasis of pillows and toys
she dreams, paws twitching
her mischievous kitty dreams

it seems the crazy train has left the station
hopefully chugging some other kool aid
cause this kool aid is mine

you should never have performance anxiety
as you are clearly a very talented actor
and I am an easy audience
when it comes to you

every morning my nakedness invites your full length embrace
in your absence
cats and dogs stretch together in the sleepy bed