it was very warm in my bed last night
someone must have turned up the heat

or maybe it was these
                                     thick
                                              blankets
                                                            of snow

I’m barely even halfway to 7,000
so I’ve got a ways to go
before I’m through
with you

my fortune cookie told me to unfurl my fantasies
that’s like telling a person stranded in the middle of the ocean they should go for a swim

he’s beautiful
every time I see a new picture
I want to live in it forever
I want to leap off the cliff
and glide into the valley
surrender to ocean current
let it carry me to uncertain sea
step off the platform
and be hit by the train

I just want that rush
injected straight into my heart
wake suddenly from the lonely dream
panting and gasping and grasping

and he is there
eyes, arms, flesh, blood, love, love, love

stop freaking out
nothing is changed except everything
which is no big deal
also, I still love you and you should come
bravely
for a visit

I would like to crawl into your bed
I would be
whichever spoon you want
or
we could fork

panic?
conscience?
counterinsurgency?
immune system?
parasites?
epileptic?
diabetic?
killer bees?
shark?
zombie?
... aliens?

how are the drones working?
has the technology improved?
I’ve been staying away from windows

the poor guy still up in my attic  
needs to understand
he can be free
all his dreams of reunion can come true
he just needs to go into the scary place
first
just for a few minutes
ok maybe an hour or two
but then he can be free
forever
it’s not a trap
it’s the only way out

I loved Frankenstein
but he sailed into the sunset on a flimsy dingy
I hope he makes it
to whichever fairytale he’s headed next

I am electric all around
like Pikachu
cute and yellow

the waves are being particularly rambunctious
the ocean is telling a lot of jokes
also I think the sun is a bit drunk
wobbling through the sky

if you’re sad
sing a song
a song that feels really good to sing
sing it loud
don’t hurt yourself now
but really sing it out
do it as many times as you need
for me that’s at least 3 times
but usually I keep going to 6 or 7
then
well then you have to go with it
maybe sing other songs
maybe some jumping around
maybe fold the laundry
it could lead anywhere

I lamented the stain on my heart
without trying to remove it
when I finally did
it came right off

there is a lot more
great, cheap *** in the world today
but for the really good stuff
you still have to pay

one person’s breakfast menu
is another person’s ****

sometimes, I have no skin
just raw
nerve, muscle, sinew, tendon
a flayed meat avatar
slick and red
wearing only
a nameless burning agony
calmed, satisfied, abated
somehow
through pain, and more pain
until subject and object dissociate
—I am not that
I am this other thing
this safe, perfect other thing
and she carries on
like a snake with a new skin
glistening, young, smooth
supple, wet

trapped on this flying bus
they just turned out the lights
do they not want us to see each others’ faces?!
while we plummet to our fiery deaths?!

a weakness takes over me
and I am crushed
unable to breathe or speak or move
the heart breaks
alone
the spirit races in darkness
unable to find a finish line
eyes close
world disappears
I disappear

my plants are in their containers
trying to pull themselves out
having gotten impatient with my relaxing Sunday morning routine
—we’ve been here since yesterday morning!!
they shout, leaves and roots all antsy-ing about
—put us in the ground Now!!

and I, slave to my garden,
set down my tea,
and dutifully comply

I feel very two dimensional tonight
what’s the point of three dimensions when nothing is real?
it seems very decadent and unnecessary
we are spoiled gods
squandering the wealth of our space time continuum

though it was a good price
it did not have the right dimensions
so I didn’t buy it

desire tightens it’s grip
around my body in the dark
pain whispers a vulnerable plea
please
don’t stop

the words are calming me
each word is a recycle bin
I’m taking out the trash

do you want to know something
I find outrageously funny
while culturally very different
Christians and Muslims are historically and philosophically
neighbors
like
you couldn’t get much closer
to the exact same belief system
so get along people
get over the colors of yourselves
you’re not so long lost siblings

as punctuation goes
there’s something intimate
about a period
so much wrapped in that little orb
endings to the left
beginnings to the right
a tiny dense anchor
between two thoughts
holding them together
keeping them apart
it has a big job
the period
I bet sometimes
it doesn’t know where it belongs

I’m full of whimsy and imaginary friends
we are dancing and smiling and feeling good
we are holding hands and feeling safe
we are making the life until the life is made

Live in the looping moment of balance!

                                Share the bliss of fingertips!

           Open hidden passages!

                                                      ­  Bring love!

I am paralyzed by my lack of subtlety
I don’t want to break the china

the summer shower is already past
and the sun is trying to come out
I know there is a rainbow out there somewhere
in the sky
or your window
or my heart

I saw a guy go by on his motorcycle
with his ******* the back
and I thought—
no, I felt—
I felt sad

you may think I love Game of Thrones
but I’ve never seen it
my dragons and castles are very different

love visited in my dream
smoothing my muscles and my mind
now I’m a little pancake
soft, fluffy and sweet
I’m ready
please add syrup

I want to tug your head back by the hair
touch you, slowly, everywhere
kiss your lovely patient face
find every sensitive ticklish place
fill you with anticipation and joy
become your favorite vice and toy
I want to live inside your gentle arms
surprise you daily with sneaky charms
be your love, your passion, your girl
dance innocently with you forever
our hearts will sway and shake and twirl

I’ve decided to marry you
no, I mean, I’m ending it
I’m ending it, we’re through
wait... hello?

my poetic license was called into question due to a recent incident on the poetry highway
but the cops showed up and cleared me
they determined it was the other guy’s fault

your face is very easy to kiss
your hand is very easy to hold
your heart is very is easy to love
on you, dear, I was easily sold

in your thought I am happily lost
in your life I would happily live
in your arms I would happily stay
your mistakes, dear, I happily forgive

I will call her my girlfriend
since it is really me she is in love with
your obsession
with me

easy to match
impossible to attach

the words were like a chainmail
plain and uniform and impenetrable

an audience of one is enough
to call it poetry
if its one you love

as I mortar these last few bricks in place
my last view of you is the same
as my first

The bits I see
Are not a reality
Just made up stories
Dumb heart candy

do you want me to shoot you in the foot?
oh, you already did?
(grimaces) I was going to use blanks

the musk this evening
mixed with the dark cherry overtones
of smoke
I could fall in love with myself
if I wasn’t me

don’t lay around waiting for the vultures
they’re not coming

why didn’t you ever want more?
I don’t understand
is this really all you wanted?
really?
were you loving someone else?
was someone else loving you?
did I meet some obscure niche in your life?
these are rhetorical questions
a reflection of my bafflement
despite our storied past
I am not a disturbed person
I think you know this
maybe that’s how you know it never would have worked
I’m a healthy person
I won’t accept your half measures
you have whole measures, you do
that you choose not to share
somewhere inside you is a real thing
and I have loved it
every bit of you I have loved

but that real thing, you
maybe give him a chance too

what if this is all there is
in life
in love
what if everything else
is just lies you tell yourself
or lies other people tell you
best stay put

I press my hand to my rib cage
feel my heart’s persistent throb
it seems so small and vulnerable
this tiny gentle creature
pressing softly against my fingers
each pulse almost a question
is this right?
should I be here?
was this an invitation?
meant for me?
yet it continues
steady and uncertain
faithful and dumb
altruistic and alone
thank you little heart
you efforts are not forgotten

we are fading
further
soon we won’t exist at all
except as a discarnate energy
a lost record of
emotional detritus
drifting
until being ****** up
by some other being who recycles us
into something useful
perhaps
an other love