if your kingdom is built on fairytales
you had better be a princess

I used to love your ears
you have big goofy ears
I suppose they match my weird smile
and strange face
but none of that matters now

the waves are being particularly rambunctious
the ocean is telling a lot of jokes
also I think the sun is a bit drunk
wobbling through the sky

legions of watchers from multiple dimensions are in love with me
I am a star
with planets, moons, asteroids, meteors, and
stardust
orbiting my light

I’d like if you could face the breakfast
and the music
it would be a great show

trapped on this flying bus
they just turned out the lights
do they not want us to see each others’ faces?!
while we plummet to our fiery deaths?!

I am electric all around
like Pikachu
cute and yellow

it was very warm in my bed last night
someone must have turned up the heat

or maybe it was these
                                     thick
                                              blankets
                                                            of snow

once you’ve been cut down
I’m not sure it’s true
you’ll come back bigger
and stronger
I’m not sure
wiser, maybe
(more cynical?)
but stronger?
I don’t know

you’ll persist
this is all I know
so far
you’ll persist

my fortune cookie told me to unfurl my fantasies
that’s like telling a person stranded in the middle of the ocean they should go for a swim

the poor guy still up in my attic  
needs to understand
he can be free
all his dreams of reunion can come true
he just needs to go into the scary place
first
just for a few minutes
ok maybe an hour or two
but then he can be free
forever
it’s not a trap
it’s the only way out

I lamented the stain on my heart
without trying to remove it
when I finally did
it came right off

do you want to know something
I find outrageously funny
while culturally very different
Christians and Muslims are historically and philosophically
neighbors
like
you couldn’t get much closer
to the exact same belief system
so get along people
get over the colors of yourselves
you’re not so long lost siblings

as punctuation goes
there’s something intimate
about a period
so much wrapped in that little orb
endings to the left
beginnings to the right
a tiny dense anchor
between two thoughts
holding them together
keeping them apart
it has a big job
the period
I bet sometimes
it doesn’t know where it belongs

easy to match
impossible to attach

I would like to crawl into your bed
I would be
whichever spoon you want
or
we could fork

I loved Frankenstein
but he sailed into the sunset on a flimsy dingy
I hope he makes it
to whichever fairytale he’s headed next

how are the drones working?
has the technology improved?
I’ve been staying away from windows

one person’s breakfast menu
is another person’s ****

a weakness takes over me
and I am crushed
unable to breathe or speak or move
the heart breaks
alone
the spirit races in darkness
unable to find a finish line
eyes close
world disappears
I disappear

panic?
conscience?
counterinsurgency?
immune system?
parasites?
epileptic?
diabetic?
killer bees?
shark?
zombie?
... aliens?

just make the best of it
he said
I’ve been trying ever since

there is a lot more
great, cheap *** in the world today
but for the really good stuff
you still have to pay

I’m just gonna say it
I hate the subway
it’s hot, stinky, and *****
there’s too many people
but you can’t stare at them cause that’s rude
so you just have to stare at the walls
while crammed into a tin can shooting way too noisy and fast through the dark subterranean landscape
while disconcerting looking people roam from car to car
imploring you somewhat incoherently for money or attention or food
or some scrap of human connection
which is literally and existentially the most  terrifying aspect of the whole experience

as an urban planner by profession
I worry
this makes me an egregious hypocrite
though perhaps it’s just the gross density of humanity to which I object

I did, after all, enjoy the bus,
the train, and the walking walking walking
walking walking walking
walking walking

I’m afraid of the dark
I have nightmares and I see things
things everywhere when I wake up
twisting moving pulsing shifting
shapes in space
I can feel them too
can almost make them out
I try not to look too close
I don’t want to see
I’m scared

I feel very two dimensional tonight
what’s the point of three dimensions when nothing is real?
it seems very decadent and unnecessary
we are spoiled gods
squandering the wealth of our space time continuum

though it was a good price
it did not have the right dimensions
so I didn’t buy it

my heart still hurts
it’s hurt for a long time though
nothing ever changed
so I had to
I deserve love

desire tightens it’s grip
around my body in the dark
pain whispers a vulnerable plea
please
don’t stop

my plants are in their containers
trying to pull themselves out
having gotten impatient with my relaxing Sunday morning routine
—we’ve been here since yesterday morning!!
they shout, leaves and roots all antsy-ing about
—put us in the ground Now!!

and I, slave to my garden,
set down my tea,
and dutifully comply

the words are calming me
each word is a recycle bin
I’m taking out the trash

I appreciate this moment
what do I live for?
this moment
this magnifying
tiny
moment

the musk this evening
mixed with the dark cherry overtones
of smoke
I could fall in love with myself
if I wasn’t me

sometimes, I have no skin
just raw
nerve, muscle, sinew, tendon
a flayed meat avatar
slick and red
wearing only
a nameless burning agony
calmed, satisfied, abated
somehow
through pain, and more pain
until subject and object dissociate
—I am not that
I am this other thing
this safe, perfect other thing
and she carries on
like a snake with a new skin
glistening, young, smooth
supple, wet

what if this is all there is
in life
in love
what if everything else
is just lies you tell yourself
or lies other people tell you
best stay put

I saw a guy go by on his motorcycle
with his ******* the back
and I thought—
no, I felt—
I felt sad

I am paralyzed by my lack of subtlety
I don’t want to break the china

I’m full of whimsy and imaginary friends
we are dancing and smiling and feeling good
we are holding hands and feeling safe
we are making the life until the life is made

the words were like a chainmail
plain and uniform and impenetrable

Live in the looping moment of balance!

                                Share the bliss of fingertips!

           Open hidden passages!

                                                      ­  Bring love!

why didn’t you ever want more?
I don’t understand
is this really all you wanted?
really?
were you loving someone else?
was someone else loving you?
did I meet some obscure niche in your life?
these are rhetorical questions
a reflection of my bafflement
despite our storied past
I am not a disturbed person
I think you know this
maybe that’s how you know it never would have worked
I’m a healthy person
I won’t accept your half measures
you have whole measures, you do
that you choose not to share
somewhere inside you is a real thing
and I have loved it
every bit of you I have loved

but that real thing, you
maybe give him a chance too

I thought feelings were shared that were not
I thought experiences were shared that were not
I believed many things that were not true
I suppose I’m in good company there

the summer shower is already past
and the sun is trying to come out
I know there is a rainbow out there somewhere
in the sky
or your window
or my heart

an audience of one is enough
to call it poetry
if its one you love

love visited in my dream
smoothing my muscles and my mind
now I’m a little pancake
soft, fluffy and sweet
I’m ready
please add syrup

I want to tug your head back by the hair
touch you, slowly, everywhere
kiss your lovely patient face
find every sensitive ticklish place
fill you with anticipation and joy
become your favorite vice and toy
I want to live inside your gentle arms
surprise you daily with sneaky charms
be your love, your passion, your girl
dance innocently with you forever
our hearts will sway and shake and twirl

your face is very easy to kiss
your hand is very easy to hold
your heart is very is easy to love
on you, dear, I was easily sold

in your thought I am happily lost
in your life I would happily live
in your arms I would happily stay
your mistakes, dear, I happily forgive

we are fading
further
soon we won’t exist at all
except as a discarnate energy
a lost record of
emotional detritus
drifting
until being ****** up
by some other being who recycles us
into something useful
perhaps
an other love

I’ve decided to marry you
no, I mean, I’m ending it
I’m ending it, we’re through
wait... hello?

I wish you were here
we’d hold hands on the bus
snuggle on the train
wander aimlessly through the museums, streets, and parks of New York
we’d share a bed
we’d share fancy drinks
we’d scream at the stage
more! more! more!
we’d make years of memories in a day
and come back to our sleepy town
in the end
more in love than ever