you may think I love Game of Thrones
but I’ve never seen it
my dragons and castles are very different

my drug of choice
is the sound of your voice
talk to me

where did all the people come from?
they are concentrating in this time
like an evolutionary blood clot
I wonder who is picking the scab
and if we are healing

a kayak
no, two kayaks (you need one too)
my school loans paid off
Celtic knot amethyst earrings
a red Honda Shadow 750
the back bedroom remodeled with cathedral ceilings
a back deck with hot tub
a romantic weekend in a cabin by the ocean
wireless earbuds with phenomenal base

I’m sorry but this is kind of easy and
I’m just getting started...

The bits I see
Are not a reality
Just made up stories
Dumb heart candy

It’s nice to no longer feel that I owe you
But I could’ve afforded so much more

my poetic license was called into question due to a recent incident on the poetry highway
but the cops showed up and cleared me
they determined it was the other guy’s fault

I like your pretty new car
I wish it didn’t take you so far
away
everyday I wish on a star
that you would stay close in my har
t

I would like to be alone forever today
would you like to join me?

my insides are shaking
vibrating at the speed of terror
I can’t breath
when will it stop

please
tell me
what is poetry

I will call her my girlfriend
since it is really me she is in love with
your obsession
with me

it’s a beautiful night here
but the moon doesn’t know it
he can’t see behind the thick curtain
and he won’t come out tonight
we miss you moon
you’re the only thing missing
from this star crossed
Sisyphean night

I’ve experienced so much love and tenderness
in my life
my heart often feels bursting with gratitude
for all the loves
so much so
that I sometimes wonder if I’m not dying
because it feels like the culmination of something

but maybe that’s just the deepening intensity
of life

to understand where something begins and ends
you need to understand object permanence
but that's what a lot of people are missing

I pull up the covers
turn down the light
and hold the poems gently
through the lonely dream filled night

I press my hand to my rib cage
feel my heart’s persistent throb
it seems so small and vulnerable
this tiny gentle creature
pressing softly against my fingers
each pulse almost a question
is this right?
should I be here?
was this an invitation?
meant for me?
yet it continues
steady and uncertain
faithful and dumb
altruistic and alone
thank you little heart
you efforts are not forgotten

if I ever saw him again
things might be different
but I don’t expect I will
so it is what it is

there’s something wrong with my phone
a weird broken light
I need to send it away to be fixed
some people would go crazy over this
but I don’t mind
I have the kind of resolve that comes from
years
of unreasonable discipline

I’m a sieve
I feel everyone
her, him, you, him, her
it’s hard to parse
which one is me
am I one?

do you want me to shoot you in the foot?
oh, you already did?
(grimaces) I was going to use blanks

everything is dark today
my thoughts
my heart
my clothes
the sky
everything

I am a lonely watering can hanging in a dark shed
I have a flower pattern outside
and cobwebs inside

my sleepy candle lit porch
is a wonderful place
to smoke cigarettes
drink whiskey
watch the moon
and flatter myself
while listening to crickets

humanity is making its way
doggedly
up the ***** of Maslow’s hierarchy

my mother was an actress
a musician
a director
a dramatic histrionic childish personality
but she made a very nice cameo appearance in my life

all you need to do is be yourself
and laugh at my jokes
well
not all of them
I don’t want you to hyperventilate

scientists are the real gurus of poetry
a scientist came up with the term
“transient luminous event”
as a technical term

that person is my new muse

we’re all surrounded constantly by things we don’t know or understand
there’s nothing at all you can do
except keep going
pretending you do

as I mortar these last few bricks in place
my last view of you is the same
as my first

whatever you overindulged in
over the past 4 days
we forgive you
please don’t **** us

she called me Casey
very cute
I think I made a new identity

don’t lay around waiting for the vultures
they’re not coming

all the hellos and goodbyes
boil down to a rainy Sunday
with piano music
and hot chocolate

he couldn’t stop
and he wouldn’t start
nothing could prevent him from not doing it

life is on his terms only
he is not built to share

I don’t believe in god
do you?
though I can go on all day about Siva,
even Vishnu or Brahma
if I had to practice any religion
it would be Kasmir Saivism
Abhinavagupta ascended way better than Jesus
and he took all his followers with him, great guy

Krishnas are my absolute favorite devotees
I could chant Hare Hare all day long
and the food is phenomenal
though my money is on Kali to kick your *** if needed

the Sufis are the most beautiful and poetic
I can whirl as ecstatically as any dervish and
Rumi, the quintessential lover, was my inspiration
25 years ago, long before he was cool
I can prove it, I have out of print editions

African Orishas are mysterious and fascinating
I did my final thesis on Umbanda
(in 1997, were you even born?)
a syncretic blend of spirit possession and spiritualism
a lovely shade of brown practiced primarily in Brazil
created culturally by African slaves mixed with European colonizers
with the indigenous  just trying keep their heads above the Catholicism

and, of course, we all have to respect
the Native American wisdom,
Wolf has always been my friend
in every sweat, she was with me

I should pay further respects
across the centuries I have been Egyptian,
Celtic, Greek
a keeper of arcane knowledge
for a small collection of mystic peoples

but in this time
my religion is science fiction
physics, neuroscience
my prophets are Tesla,
Philip K ****, David Bohm

while I give Teresa of Avila, Francis of Assisi and even
Thomas Aquinas
my deepest regards
there’s nothing bores me more
in my insatiable quest for truth and
insight into the human condition
than your tedious Christian god

at times I feel very convinced
by my convictions
other times I just feel
convicted

the earth will consume our hubris
and every part of us attached to it

my love cannot feel me
my love cannot see me
my love weeps
head bowed in hands
leaving my outstretched arms
empty

my heart reflects the world
it is pouring

life is recursive
much like my poetry

when we finally came together
a tornado of fire appeared in the sky
it came for us

I traced your lines so many times
you are engraved in my brain
I’m just not sure what the message is

Giant monsters
House monsters
Dismemberments
Gory car accidents
Decapitations
Forest monsters
Shadowy faceless figures following me
Falling off cliffs
Falling off tightropes
More monsters of assorted types
Sharks
Sea monsters
****** torturing me (I’m not Jewish)
Burning chemicals in my eyes
Being shot in the chest

Also, I was naked in school a few times
but that wasn’t really scary

he’s been trying to convince me
for so long
I have borderline personality disorder
I may as well believe it
still
neither of my therapists agree

I dreamed I was at a massive train station
but there were too many trains
and I didn’t know which one to take
I couldn’t see the numbers on the trains
or read the schedule
or remember what the map said
then I started crying
so I walked

you are a perfect stranger
just perfect

I’m trapped in the sky again
floating, untethered
my lungs are hot air balloons
my chest is bursting
grab the trailing rope, quick
before I get away

I want to give my dangerous innocence
to your eyes
twist your desire
to my darkness
turn you into my favorite monster
and let you off your leash