Maybe the reason I smoke so much lately, is because I have the thought of dying constantly come up in my head. Maybe because I’m too scared to push through or my sane (idk for how long) mind and conscience stops me from doing so. For the sake of my friends and family, who sometimes are what makes me have these unsettling thoughts, I will continue to battle against myself. But, Unconsciously I know that smoking like crazy will slowly **** me.