Nobody: Favorites

Nov 18 Nobody

am i getting bad again?

Nov 18 Nobody

sunny

am i getting bad again?

how did my evenings turn into darkness again?

like a sunflower lowers its head after sunset

am i getting bad again?

Nov 18 Nobody

weak

Nov 18 Nobody

sunny

weak

my legs are weak like a feader

my heart is beating like a woodpecker

my mind is racing like a rollercoaster

and in between of that

am i

somewhere

Nov 18 Nobody

How

Nov 18 Nobody

Liana

How

How can a world of
Hugging good books
Walking and listening to music
Dancing in the rain
Collecting shells at the beach and leaves in autumn
Helping someone get through an anxiety attack
Just smiling when there's nothing to say

Also have

Crying yourself to sleep at night
Sitting alone at lunch
Parents who aren't supportive of who their kids are
Parents that mentally insane and not good to be around
Ones that aren't even there
Homelessness
poverty
And war

Mixed feelings on earth and what we humans are doing with it

Nov 18 Nobody

Hell

Nov 18 Nobody

Peter Garrett

Hell

I've given up religion
After every church said
There's a special place
For people like me
Just for trying to
Make my pain
Go away

My father beat me up pretty badly for as long as I can remember... when I was fifteen I said no more and gave him a little of what he deserved - and got kicked out of his house for it. That same week my first girlfriend dumped me.
It was just too much for a teen to handle without proper help and it seemed like that despair would stay forever. So I went to 3 different drug stores and bought every pain killer I could get my hands into... and took them all at once. I was so lucky my sistem rejected them and made me throw up.
So that's why I cut the cord from church... isn't God love? Isn't God forgiveness? Or am I doomed almost from the start?
I like to think not... I like to think that's no more than an earthly claim.

#religion #church #hell #pain #suicide

Nov 17 Nobody

Dread

Nov 17 Nobody

Liana

Dread

The dread for tomorrow
Is almost
As bad as tomorrow itself

Nov 17 Nobody

Compliments

Nov 17 Nobody

Liana

Compliments

It means almost nothing to me when it is said someone loves my curly hair
It means almost nothing to me when people say they love my green eyes or anything else

The best compliment I have ever received is
"Liana, you're so weird, but in the very best way!"

What I had no decision in vs what I do

Nov 17 Nobody

You should

Nov 17 Nobody

Liana

You should

That fact that you don't feel like it
Or are too scared to do it
Just shows
How much more you need to

Go for a walk?
You should
Take a shower?
You should
Text your friend?
You should
Get out of bed?
You should
Create.... anything?
You absolutely should

Guilty of not doing it sometimes myself

Nov 17 Nobody

Anger

Nov 17 Nobody

Liana

Anger

I am so mad
And I know anger is other emotions wearing a mask
So here are they:
Sad
Hopeless
Depressed
Frustrated
Scared
And more that don't even have words
Mostly them

Nov 17 Nobody

My Urge

Nov 17 Nobody

Liana

My Urge

The intense urge
To tell you what you've done to me
And how terrible you are
Yet
I just bite my tongue

Nov 17 Nobody

Left the band

Nov 17 Nobody

Liana

Left the band

I feel betrayed
I thought we were a group
We would stick together
Forever
And we would see eachother every week
As long as we wanted to
How dare you leave
I didn't agree
I feel betrayed
I heard it from my mother
You didn't even bother to tell me

I have a band and my bassist and drummer are quitting (they're twins). It's the second time I had to start over, I feel so betrayed.