there was a boy
who was nothing but ink
he would speak
and words would

f
            a
l
            l

out from his mouth
words that nobody wanted to hear
because he said too much
people don't want to know him
anymore

i'm breathing fast
i'm seeing the past
things i don't want to remember
hit me like a blast

anxiety rising
breath denying
i'm hearing their words
i feel like i'm dying

their words hit me like a stab
i crunch like a crab
that they stepped on
i feel a jab

words bleed out of my chest
as i remember what i don't want to
i'm not ready
wait... just let me

try
to
forget

tubes in my veins
taking my blood
surrounded by doctors
asking me questions

no privacy
every door is open
nothing to support
my addictions

eyes everywhere
watching my every move
telling me
what i can & can't do

being forced to eat
when i can't.
"if you gain any more weight, they will just start bullying you again,",
the voices in my head say.

i want to get out
i'm scratching at the walls
slamming doors
screaming

this isn't helping
it's making me feel worse
i can't ******* eat
why can't they ******* understand?!

i just want to go home
i want to see my friends
i want to be in the school play again
i just want to go home

let me go home
this isn't helping
they make me feel ******* insane
...
what if i am?

hey everyone!! i would like to make it stated that i am not supposed to be writing this, yet here i am. i am currently in residential treatment. i am not going to go into details because there are some things i would rather to keep private. i have my school computer so i am able to write this, but i am technically breaking the rules because they haven't approved this website yet. that is why i havent been posting. i am still writing poetry though, so when i get out (which might be in a month, 2 or 3) i will post them all  :) thank you all for your support so far and i will be back :D

They say
Girls in glass houses
Shouldn't throw stones.
So how about they leave their house
And throw a boulder?
That's what I did

Don't let people mock you through glass...