I’m starting to feel braver.
I am ready to reach out again.
Here I find myself asking if we could allow our love to begin.

I want to leave soft kisses where rough hands have been.
With your permission, I would like to pull you close to me and trace the curvature of your skin.

If our desires do align, it is my hope that we would take our time,
To savor every nibble and every bite.
Passion is after all, such a wonderful delight.
With your hand in mine, we can entwine
As we step onto the path to the divine.

I know this is a place where dark shadows may loom
Believe me, I have seen them too
But this could be something new, this could be a chance to bloom
Petal by petal, I ask for a chance, to melt into you like warm rays of sun
I can hold all of you, without crushing a single bud.

I don't talk about my self harm much
Because I can't do it without revealing
The depth of my desire
It's like,  how someone would talk about their favorite food,  or ***.
The scars on my body
Are a momento to the capacity
To turn pain into pleasure
An escape into which
I can dive
Flesh first.
They speak of sins of the flesh.
I would compare my urge
To gluttony,  or lust.
The thing about addiction tho
Is that it's a lot like walking a tightrope
Everything in balance
But theres no net.
I'm a self taught gymnast
Twisting myself to prove,
How far I can push myself
A mastery over my own body
And the,  click, click, click
That only knows one way to be silenced
I don't know how else to love my body
But to define it by what I can take from it
And I have a habit
Of being, oh so, very greedy
When I let someone love me
I find myself hoping
That they have enough hunger to consume me
 So that maybe
I wont,  devour myself.

So you wanna have a baby
But are you ready,
To give away parts of yourself you don’t even know exist yet?
You thought you knew what love is
But have you ever held it?
Cradled love in your arms
That kind of love will change you in ways you can not fathom
until it happens to you.
Be careful who you have kids with
They say,
But can you feel the weight?
I signed away my life on a birth certificate
I strangled my own heart with my own principles
I knew I wanted to love this deep
But I didn’t know what it would feel like
All I know, is that I don’t know when I last felt truly happy
And it’s still
Entirely worth it.

I’ve never been one what would call a “hopeless romantic”.
I am more of a hopeful romantic,
Like, I’m kind of skeptical, but I still hope all the things they say about love could be true.
I’m not a hopeless romantic,
But I still daydream about holding your hand.
I’m not a hopeless romantic,
But when I’m in bed with you, I don’t know if all my dreams have come true, or if I’m just dreaming
But I know I don’t want to wake up
I’m not a hopeless romantic
But I hope one day I find a way to articulate exactly how you make me feel.
I am not a hopeless romantic,
But I want you to know that now that I’ve met you,
I am no longer afraid to lay in the dark.
They say the human brain has as many neurons as there are stars in this galaxy.
I am not a hopeless romantic,
But I would like to lay beneath the open night sky,
So that I can show you how my brain lights up every time I see you smile.
I am not a hopeless romantic
But I am hopeful
Hopeful as in I hope that when a love song comes on, I never stop thinking of you
Hopeful as in I hope one day, I may crystallize what it means to love you
So that I know just how to keep your heart safe.
I am not a hopeless romantic
But I am full of hope.

Let love be thy sanctuary
Praise thy lover not merely with your lips,
But with your whole mouth.
If god is love, then your body is a chapel.
Treat your body like a temple,
But your thighs are the alter I would lay myself before
And if I were to be judged let it not be by my sins, but by the ******* I can give you
My love, if you are a church, then I will take evidence of god in every quiver
And if longing is nothing other than a prayer then we must shake the heavens when we come together
The big bang must have been an ******;
And if I could choose but one universe it would be you
If god is love, then this ecstasy is a spiritual awakening
And we are divinity

I resent my neediness.  
So, I put it in a box in the top of my closet where no one would care to pry.  I package my neediness in pretty bows and dress it up disguised as kindness.  My neediness parades around with a mask on its face.  Eyebrows raised in concern “is everything alright?” my neediness asks.  My neediness always texts back.  
My neediness knows that patience is a virtue, but it wonders why waiting so often feels like dying.  My neediness knows the value of laughter.  My neediness does not understand why we are supposed to hide our tears.  My neediness always wants that second serving of chocolate cake and my neediness is always down to cuddle.  My neediness does not understand what is so bad about wanting to be wanted.  My neediness just needs to feel needed.  My neediness does not understand what we are so afraid of.  
I am ashamed of my neediness.  
So, I clamp a hand firmly across its paper-thin lips.  I squeeze so hard that I cannot tell if it is the need inside of me that is aching or if I am simply breaking apart bit by bit.  I do not stop to ask if this is what suffocating feels like.  I press my hand so tightly… so very tightly… that the words “I love you” can never come out.

My power is one of silence.
Like the dam that stops the river
My stillness is one of purposeful design.
And when I think of drowning
I try to remember how mighty I am
To build a home on water
To still the flow just enough to find some quiet
I am the beast that would drag the forest into the river
Swelling the banks to swallow the land whole
And make it my own