You want me to write something
about this holiday
but you want to know what I think
well this is what I say
I'll never be your perfect valentine
because the truth is
I hate it
I hate this
it's just another holiday
telling you how you should be living
but I don't care
no flowers or gifts will I be giving
no tacky greeting cards
telling you that I choo-choo-choose you
it's just another reason to spend money
just another reason to sit on your own
just another day to dream about
the one you love
or the one you're without
just another reason to be a couple
just another reason to be kissed
just another reason to hold hands
just another reason to get flowers
just another reason to say I love you
just another reason to go on a date
just another reason to be in love
just another day like any other...

Venturing into the heart of insanity,
(my mind)
I fear that i will lose myself.
I hear the blood rushing in my head
(Will it ever drown me?)
As its the only sound i hear apart from myself.
Alone with my thoughts,
(Wish me well..)
Maybe this is what i want.
Insanity. Chaos. Something.

Sitting here surrounded,
People all around.
Yet never was I more alone,
There's no one, no where to be found.

Standing in a snowstorm,
Snow swirling all about.
Cold, and hurt, and all alone,
There's no one, no where to be found.

I fall, I cry, I hit the ground.
I look for help, I scream out loud.
But there's no one, no where to be found.

I've come to the conclusion,
Although I hate it so.
In this world,
I am all,
but ,
**Alone...

If you're hearts broken
i'd love to say I could fix it
but I'm hopeless
and I just can't help you
because you're afraid to tell yourself
that you love you
because you might not love you back the same
if you see yourself as beautiful
than you will think you're beautiful as well
and if you believe that you've got a great mind
then you'll never hate being around you
and you keep those feelings hidden
then you will never know
just how
you feel about you
telling you is not up to me
nor he or she or anyone other than you
so don't be sad or you won't be glad
because the one that you love will be crying because of you
but when you smile at them
they can't help but smile back
because you love you
you just have to let you know...

A year ago I was sitting in my room
dropping out of college
I found a pen and an old notebook
which I got for my creative writing class
in high school
So I picked it up, unsure of what was going to happen
but I wrote a poem called in my dreams
without meaning to
Dude, poetry is gay
but It seemed I had a taste for it
a week later I was writing to drown out the sound
of my roommate fighting with his girlfriend
and the couple was born

I was a secret drop out
I even made up a class schedule
so I would go at varying hours on varying days
to any cafe which had cheap coffee and free wifi
and I would write these ****** little poems
saved in a google docs folder called
poetry
I used to ***** around on the web too much
stuff like stumbleupon
and I found all of you beautiful sons of *******
a strange old website called hellopoetry.com
facebook for those young or foolish enough
to call themselves poets
I was skeptical
I’ve never been a fan of other writers in my atmosphere
but I’ll be ****** If I didn’t fall in love
with the ***** old dog
I wrote and I wrote and I wrote
I may not have been the best
but you can’t spell prolific without pro
and when I finally hit
100,000 views
it was like losing my virginity all over again
only not as awkward and drunk

I’ve been pottering around on here for a year now
and every person who read my work
every angel which clicked follow
Got to see me bang my head against the keyboard
in dark rooms on even darker days
and they’ve seen some of my best work
definitely some of my worst
and I’ve met some genuinely great people along the way
I only hope that you all know who you are
So let’s raise a glass to the year passed
and celebrate
a bunch of wild poet… things
and here’s to another year
of weird little poems

Do so,
I require of you to
to keep me sane

Walk,
amongst the shadows
and feel the cold and haggard
air

Walk,
amongst the real humans
and feel warmth and joy
emanating
from their wonderful and perfect selves

Walk with me
please,
we can go on a journey
and...
maybe it'll help me
recover from the crazyness
and help you too...

Please, Walk with me
I require this of you.

Underneath laughing gowns
And clicking white heals
Fall lost hopes and dreams
Things we used to feel

Each red petal; now dead
Used to celebrate a new start
With friends and family and something blue
A fellowship of two hearts

And here I sit at the last row
Watching young flower girls sing
And clatter sounds as hands clap
When a finger bears a wedding ring

But those petals; red and crumpled
Lay suffering as they all applaud
And my memory recalls two more suffering flowers
And my fingers plucking a petal
And whispering
"He loves me not."

As the sun shines
On top of burnt heads
And warm, wrinkly smiles
Beam brightly

I can't help but wonder
That at this moment
The world is too perfect
Too perfect to go on like this

i denied being depressed
because i thought maybe telling myself that
would decrease the chances of it being true
but i now realize that denying your feelings for something
only makes them stronger
and because of this
i love you more
i hate the world around me
the environment i once thought was so beautiful
has now painted a monstrous image in my head
of what truly lies in this place
full of danger and lies and people who say they care about you
but actually don't
i have abandoned the memories
that linger in my mind
but no longer have meaning
i just need a new place to start everything over
i have come to the conclusion
that i have reached my breaking point

*a