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  Feb 2017 zeph the deer boi
Careless people with careful hands
Breaking the right hearts and scattering minds
Leaving a soul empty and raw
And the seeping leaves a stain that pockets won't contain
You left a little to early to see the tattoo you left on his heart
His scars weren't there for the right reasons but even so he didn't see them
He was so effortlessly happy and his cracked skin was beautiful and his tears were so clear it makes me cry
He is the purest body I have ever met and the reason sleeping is hard
My thoughts are awake and buzzing as he opens his eyes and sees more then is mentioned
His friendship is a swelling thing, and my heart grows and skips as his breaks and heals
Ah..true friends are a blessing
poor porcupine*
you never let people get too close
those who do
regret finding you
but youve let one in
got too close too quick
they got stuck on your quills
they want to stay but also leave
always talking to others
never you
yet theyre there
always reassuring you that theyll stay
that youre the best home
but you know better
than to trust a *rat
my best friend (imma call her porcupine) is dating this girl. she always takes forever to open up to people. it took me about two years for her to be comfortable with me and same for her other friends. she opened up to this girl in 3 months and they started dating. now her girlfriend prefers to talk to and play with other people rather than porcupine. her girlfriend makes porcupine feel bad for bringing that up and now shes even more depressed. like dude get to know the person first. her gf is poly meaning she wants to date multiple people and porcupine clearly has a problem with this. they wouldve broken up but her gf is the only thing making her happy yet is also hurting her
oh dear oh dear
i feel so free
this is a new feeling
im escaping reality
to live in my fantasies
im a care free deer
and no one can stop me
for once im happy and its lasted a while
ive been looking towards the future and im telling myself itll be good
i hope so
you hurt me
they were all on your side
you told me to
i couldve died
you wouldnt have cared
i can still feel the wires
tangled around my neck
i cant help but feel scared
that you guys still feel this way
should i just let
these wires take me away??
im still upset about this
my friend and i got in a fight
and she told me to **** myself and that she hated me
and i tried to but couldnt
and i told my other friend and she didnt care cuz the girl who told me to **** myself was crying
and now i cant get over it
im worried no one cares
that everyone wants me dead
i probably should have died that day
it got bad
i became obsessed with her liking me
i had to have her approval for everything
and i still act like this
i need to stop
i need to leave her
if you're stressed out and you know it clap your hands
clap clap
if you need constant reassurance clap your hands
clap clap
if your life is just a wreck and you're really tired of it
if you're depressed and anxious clap your hands
*clap clap
  Dec 2016 zeph the deer boi
I think too much,
talk too much,
dream too much,
and write too much
in a desire to
illicit implicit
emotional responses
engineered in
the pursuit of
defining and expanding
the influence of
there's too many of them
why do I have to be here
there's no space for me to move
they're all watching me
look away please
itd be weird if I started biting my pen
in front of them
I need to do something
I need to calm down
what can I do?
when I get anxious I need to do something. like move around, bite my pen, flap my hands idk. it helps calm me down. I can't really do that at school especially when I have a stalker in the class...sometimes I'll find myself biting my pen or just drumming my hands on the table. sometimes that isn't enough sometimes it is.
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