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Jan 2021 · 169
Waltz With the D3vil
Misty Meadows Jan 2021
Lips like a smooth spirit in a dense glass.
Drink from my pain slow, I hope you don't
Crash.

I felt her cold on me like a winter dawn
White.
Gasp for my air boldly, it's a long night.

Eyes pierce heavy with little room to flee.
Waltz with the devil if you crave the energy.
Jan 2021 · 168
Fit 4 Hell
Misty Meadows Jan 2021
Veins bulging, I been absolutely nauseous.
Ingesting all the bullsh!t of my monetary
Losses.
Approach me with a caution, for your being.
I ain't perfect..
I done blacked out on my morals,
See the dullness on the surface.
My blood it roams within the cracks
I've felt the time around me lapse.
Malnourishment to be exact.
The brittle bones protrude attached.
The gut it growls and eats me slow.
I pray my heart don't rot the most.
My soul, it bleeds. Intentions soaked
With great remorse. My severed hope.
Misty Meadows Sep 2020
Can't pretend to be too
Fond--
I got this blood all on my palms.
And if you ask me, yes of course
I'll swear that really nothing's wrong.
Through half smoked cigars and boxes
Of pad thai,
I'm just pushing past the years of being the
Bad guy.
And if I'm just worm food to the dirt that Craves you,
How do you expect me to bleed out simply to
Save you?
Sep 2020 · 110
Drag Yourself 2 Hell
Misty Meadows Sep 2020
I **** spiders in the basement,
Think my palette's going tasteless.
Wine gets finer by its aging,
Everything between is wasting.
Call it bodies in the cellar.
Does the smell get any better?
Swallow opioids together
Just to fight through stormy weather.
Walk through Hell and make it drizzle.
Spread the pain and let it trickle.
****** a soul out by the nickel.
Nothing's done coincidental
Bible stories not my answer.
Has it ever cured the cancer?
Wars and ****** still the manner.
Call it blasphemy or slander.
Sep 2020 · 106
Psychedelia
Misty Meadows Sep 2020
Whether six feet deep or six
Feet tall,
Believe the higher the
Ego, the harder the fall.
I add milk in tea to adjust
The flavor.
Their souls are saved and
My fate's in danger.
And with fits of anger, I
Express this ache,
I've grown in my gut.
Must digest this hate.
Free the depths of
The belly and
Faint at the sight.
And something 'bout being
This wrong is so right.
Jul 2020 · 134
And I Can Never Be Enough
Misty Meadows Jul 2020
Call me distant, but I'd swim miles just to get
To you. And to tell the truth, my passion is
What sets the mood. But I guess the
Movements of my flame can't spark a single
Fuse. And to tell the truth, my
Pain looks like your rendezvous. I cut my
Heart up into pieces, leave the rest for you.
I cross that heart and hope to die to save the
Mess of you.
Jun 2020 · 148
Ace
Misty Meadows Jun 2020
Ace
I'm sweating, don't you sweat me.
With this steel beneath my belly.
Cross me once, I'll let you test me.
Test me twice, you won't forget me.

You'll regret the way you played foul.
Ain't it hard for you to stay proud?
When I see you, play your cards well.
I poker face and lay them face down.
Jun 2020 · 88
do or d!e
Misty Meadows Jun 2020
Got me screaming do or die,

Got me yelling do or die...

Something about you and I--

Contemplating suicide!

Don't know what to do and I'm

Thinking about losing my

Faith and all the hope inside.

I'm all alone and cold tonight.

Hold me if you know what's right.

Scold me if you wanna fight.

Breathing pretty slow tonight.

Know I'm going home tonight.

Got me screaming do or die,

Got me yelling do or die...

Something about you and I--

Contemplating suicide!
May 2020 · 72
Rolling Stonez
Misty Meadows May 2020
He's from the army and the navy.
His arm above the baby.
Never cared about the way he
Drifted through the ladies.
His daddy's daddy crazy.
Inappropriate and lazy.
He's a star and he's a maybe.
He's the tragedy of lately.
May 2020 · 54
Whit3 Rum
Misty Meadows May 2020
It's the ones that quake and quiver
Near the vacant
Lakes and rivers,
That I follow with a temper of
The hollow winds of
Winter.

Them hollow winds do
Follow them. My appetite is
Bothersome.
I crave the things I shouldn't
Lust. I pick apart and
Swallow them.

The carcass breeds a
Selfish need
To melt the pain it
Couldn't flee.
Why take its hope and set it free.
Another way to rest in peace?

A drunken swear--
A sudden stare--
And no surprise, you stumbled
There...

Words of care. Don't be the first
To make it bad 'fore it gets worse.
...
Jan 2020 · 67
I See Fine In the Dark
Misty Meadows Jan 2020
All my thoughts running with the
Stampede in my head.
I tried to tame the beast, it started
Teething instead.

Don't you cry... nightmares got you
Peeing the bed?
And when you don't, you only have
Dreams of regret.

Regretting all the moves that you
Made in the dim.
Got bedtime prayers for a lifetime of
Sin.

Never had to question if it's water, if
It's wind,
But the things that I've seen even
Make the blind squint.
Nov 2019 · 92
Benjamin
Misty Meadows Nov 2019
Chip bags and toe tags,
Oh, what you know of that?

And I've got a hundred thoughts,
I'm thinking 'bout a hundred stacks.

I gotta entertain vengeance
For a hundred stabs,
That I done got to the back.
Now, what you know of that?

They tryna hold me back.
I'm cold and lonely,
Bold and sad.

They gave a hundred stabs,
I'm coming with a loaded mac.
They gave a hundred stares,
I'm running, never looking back.
Misty Meadows Jun 2019
Loose screws and cheap *****,
You got me so confused.
I tried to simmer down, but
Junkies came and lit the fuse.
With the AC in the closet, like your
Faithfulness.
I lick all on my lips to show you, you
Ain't tasting this.
College really ain't for me because I
Hate the ****.

It's just some basic ****. I start my
Convos great and swift.
But on the contrary, bad and slow
Is all we know.
But there's just no excuse for bags of
**** all on my floor.
I know you say I'm venting, blowing
Steam, what can I do?
But all I do is laugh, I'm high as
Hell, don't **** my mood.
I have my own agenda when it
Comes to breaking hearts.
But if you do it first, I'll break your
Spirit, wanna start?
Oh, you don't wanna start?
Then pour a shot, we'll drink to that.
And light a blunt, put it at my lips.
And watch me sing to that.
May 2019 · 89
Your Heart Sounds Lazy
Misty Meadows May 2019
I usually wash my hands of the
Women who disrespect me.
Who think it's okay to speak care then
Just neglect me
Not one bat of your lashes
Can strip me of my tears.
Your angry piercing eyes
Don't strike me no fear.
The begging and pleading
Gets done on the regular.
Yet, I'd do anything in the name
Of protecting her.
But I don't get no protection,
No attention...
Just forget it.
'Cause every time I speak about it,
All your spite is there, detected.
How much more can you take,
Before you
Break
The very heart that pumped love
Into your soul
Back when the world would treat you
Cold.
Instead, I am the bad one.
True love? I never had one.
I sit and smoke my doja and get
Tweaked off of that ***.
And the drum of life just really has
No rhythm for me.
So tell cupid choke and die or blow out
Some kisses for me
Gotta be on to bigger better things now
Apr 2019 · 143
Truancy
Misty Meadows Apr 2019
From my friends and lover,
To siblings and mother,
My father, my doctor...

Just please keep it
Honest.

If I died today, like the
Dearly departed,
Y'all tears would last miles
From the point that they started.

And that's so hard to say,
'Cause the days I could breathe,
Y'all were one step away
In the distance near me.
They hear you scream and cry for help but choose not to care so why do you stay for them they don't care if you go if you stay so suicide isn't selfish for anyone except them they are selfish and put guilt on you even in death you'll forever be your own martyr they had you and didn't see you were here for them not you
Apr 2019 · 140
NewSins
Misty Meadows Apr 2019
Cannot poker face, unless you phonies
Got some
More ****.
I sip on codeine and kinda dabble
With that
Morphine.
But do not get confused, 'cause I
Will never be
A dope fiend.
Smoking heavy clouds, you see my
Lungs, they got some
Protein.
I'm easily influenced, if you
Wanna
Take me under.
I be fearing no flesh and no Gods and
No thunder.
If I feel it
In my veins,
Then I need to be
Numb-er.
But please, not too strong.
Can't let it be
My last
Number.
Dec 2018 · 238
Attempt & Complete
Misty Meadows Dec 2018
They gonna put blame on me
Like they always do,
But I'm holding all of y'all
Responsible
For the results of your
Decisions.
I said it, I meant it.
Don't you ever forget it.
Laugh now, cry later.
I'll never regret this.
Dec 2018 · 165
Freezing Point
Misty Meadows Dec 2018
Stay awake through evenings
And try to fight your demons.
Even if you're bleeding,
On the concrete, freezing.
       I keep contemplating
How much pain to take,
When really, there's not much
Left to break.
My heart gets skewered
By your selfish stake.
My trust is broken by you
      Sinful snakes.
Cut the grass or should I
Cut myself.
Sleep in silence
Or I could scream for help.
My soul is covered by a
Thousand welts.
Stay awake through evenings,
To get prepared for Hell.
Dec 2018 · 233
Saccharin
Misty Meadows Dec 2018
Do you like the sweetness
Of the things you
Can't have?

Walk into a candy shop
And browse with
No cash.

I know you smell that toffee
And that box of bon bons.
All that sugar's bad for me.
You know it's so wrong.

But you know I melt like
Chocolates under early summer
Suns.

So sweet, I lick my fingers
Then I buy another one.

Sweeter than red velvet
And a glass of cherry Cola.

I forgot I'm diabetic.
But I'll settle for the coma.
Dec 2018 · 163
Now I Lay
Misty Meadows Dec 2018
Midnight tales don't
Do me well.
Warm milk can spill,
But can't fill this Hell

Within my head.
You'll like me dead.

Mom's hugs won't help,
I'll really **** myself.

I'm in Hell again.
This never ends.

The cycles bent.
I can't repent.

Follow suit.
This could be you.

Right now it's me.
No angel wings.

God is never wrong
He is never wrong
Dec 2018 · 156
Mrs. Perfect
Misty Meadows Dec 2018
I ain't tryna be perfect.
I'm good at flirting with the devil.
With intentions always certain,
I can never play the victim
If I caused the others hurting.
But I ain't give another reason
To get treated like a merchant..
Like a servant
So indentured,
You can't even see she's worth it.

You ain't gonna step up, are you?
Mrs. Get it done when I want.
Procrastination's gonna harm you.
Don't be hating on my blunt.
That's the only thing that seems to
Warm you.
And now, I don't give a ****.

That's what you wanted.
What you asked for.

All this pain is past due.
You talking tryna glue it,
But I'm looking right past you.
Can't be crying, looking foolish.

You don't deserve a look from my eyes,
When they searched your heart for
So long.
You wish you could make me believe
I'm tripping, but that is just so wrong.

And we ain't got no old songs.
No rings and no future.
Nothing left so baby so long.
That distance gon be torture.
But for you, not me.
I'm used to being lonely.
Only difference is, I'm still alone,
You just can't hold me.
****** up flow on purpose. If I wanted to be perfect I could be
Dec 2018 · 161
The Thought Gotta Kill You
Misty Meadows Dec 2018
You look like my pain,
You even sound the same way.
Whose heart you racing to?
My heart be racing too.
I'm a nervous wreck.
No disrespect,
But I'll waste my last breath
On 3 puffs of some *****.

You don't want no smoke with me.
I'm reckless, I'm feckless.
Blood spills, let it leak,
Ghosts gon' sip it for breakfast.

You won't like me when I'm
Down, when I'm low.
When I'm low, when I'm down,
I slice a smile, hate to frown.

I see nothing but you,
Can't close my eyes,
Even to sleep.
I got blisters on my hands,
From gripping shovels.
Grave's deep.

Throw me in it if you don't see me too.
Take a look, take a look at all they
Put me through.

Now tell me what you gonna do.

I like roses and rosé, bring it all to
My burial.
Nov 2018 · 132
Hope is Abrupt
Misty Meadows Nov 2018
What is it that you
Have been sipping
That has got you tripping and
Praying good riddance
To your lovely presence?
I'm hoping you hear me
Because you've been scary,
And we are all fearing

That you're gonna ruin the one
Thing that's present.

Life is a present
And gifts are not chosen,
So I'm hoping and praying
That this gift ain't stolen.

A theif is commended by all other
Thieves.
I'm hoping your casket don't
Fall with the leaves.
Fresh air is a gift, but it's
So hard to breathe.
Can't give you the gift and the freedom
To flee.

You belong in a happier hell than
They'll send you.
You don't wanna go on, but we make
You pretend to.
I see that it's hard and puts strain on
Your mental,
But think on the bright side, you've
Survived what you went through.
Nov 2018 · 170
Fire with Fire
Misty Meadows Nov 2018
Better get your girl because
If I find her,
Ima touch her.
Ima touch her...
But not the way
That you think I
Wanna.
Ima hunt her.
Ima hunt her...
Down and ima have to
Bring her torture.
Bring it to her.
Hurt her, force her-
And coerce her
To tell the truth.
If she lie on me, ima have to
Scorch her.
And since she did,
Know I got it for her.
Out to get you.
Call a lawyer.
Oct 2018 · 1.6k
L!f3
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
Keeping my composure with a
Composition pad.
I'm committed to compassion
And I'm passionately sad.
I'm competing with competitors
That show no competition.
My work ethic is persistent,
All my wisdom blocks the ignorance.
But I can't stay that optimistic and
Surrounded by indifference.
The injustice is indignant.
See, my mind can tell the difference.
With all the hate I be deflecting,
And my love they stay rejecting,
I'm simply drifting in the mist of
This.
The mystery of wishfulness;
It glistens and it whistles so blissfully,
But licorice
Is sweeter than the outcome of
Me laughing while I slit my wrists.
But not as bitter as a Hell on earth. I
Step on dirt and cigarettes--
Disgust me much, but marijuana
Seems to bring deliverance.
See, Mary wanna be a ******.
Joseph is so sick of this.
I'm praying to my God regardless,
Let Him add his finishes.
Can't stay here long, I got to go,
I swear, I'm getting rid of this.
These ain't tears that's on my cheeks
Love, see, these the roads of distances.
Let's not settle out our differences.
Should've settled all my dividends.
I should be held and given kisses
*****,
Not accused of having mistresses.
My love is warm, my soul is kind,
And yet my heart receives these
Hits so brisk.
Maybe if I bleed out by the end,
They'll finally miss the kid.
Oct 2018 · 156
Falling Apart Is Old
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
I need some help out here,
Something better than this.
I ain't no sensitive kid
Unless they speak on my pancreas,
Then it is what it is.
I blow a malevolent kiss
Because the love I receive
Comes from a satanic abyss,
Full of the souls I've betrayed
In my past lively days.
I didn't pay much attention,
Now karma is who I must pay.
And to the higher above,
I must always go pray.
We have prayers for pain
And prayers for laughter.
Heavely Father, I'm a disaster.
After this wound,
There can be no more after.
Afterlife is unknown,
But I believe in the best.
But for people like me,
Only looking forward to death
Due to the instances pushed on
The mere flesh,
We will have no chance,
It's a one way ticket to flames.
But for this pain, I have great disdain.
Whisper my name when you visit
My tomb.
Understand you can
Never be gone too soon
When dirt and death and
All things below that bury your
Smile
Are meant for you.
Oct 2018 · 217
How Lovely
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
Where's that dress I like on you?
Wear that dress I like on you,
At my funeral.

You'll look so beautiful.

And with your heart full of pain,
I'll have no blood in my veins,
At my funeral.
We'll look so beautiful.

It's the death of me and the death
Of us.
The death of life and the death of
Lust.
Who are the ones that you really
Trust?
You won't understand 'til I return to
Dust.
'Til I return to dust.
Life and death's a must.
We riot then rot.
Let the reasons rust.

I won't argue with you because your
Lies are just.
But if I'm dead, I can't even fuss.

At my funeral,
You'd look so beautiful.
And it's okay to cry.
For real, it's crucial to.
I ain't never met someone as
Cool as you.
I hope your last glance at me ain't
Unusual.
Oct 2018 · 143
Just Might
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
My heart seeps a weakness
That might've came from the
Clouds.
It leaps out the sky like a stage dive
To crowds.

I built a sturdy armour to block out
The pain.
But it couldn't seem to stop all the
Guilt and the blame.

I strum my heartstrings with
These things I don't need.
My lungs beg for smoke and my
Mind also pleads.

If I lay my head without a
Defense for reality,
I just might take my life--
Ain't no might. That's actuality.
Oct 2018 · 182
Cry Wolf
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
Hold me to my promises
I like to break them when you
Tripping out.
I been depending on that plant
Since lean ain't what I'm
Sipping now.

You're different? How?

You treat me just like them old
Broads used to.

Maybe this ain't what I've waited on
For so long.

Who's gonna save you?
Me, myself and I.
Who's gonna save me
When I say I wanna die?

I hear crickets to that question
Because you ignore my every sigh.
You gon be the first one to weep
When I tell y'all not to cry.

It's ridiculous how this goes.
There's certain things you shouldn't
Say.
You gonna regret it all when I'm not
Here some day.
Oct 2018 · 102
Nyquil
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
You don't wanna know what I
Think under my sheets.
I cuddle with my pillow, close my eyes
And count my sheep.
I don't ever get to sleep, so I'm tossing
And I'm turning,
And I'm tryna knock this feeling.
It's an aching and a burning.
It's a yearning and a craving.
A desire for a touch.
My body whispering her name,
I keep telling it to hush.
But it ain't tryna stay quiet, so I ain't
Putting up a fight.
And if we're being honest, I'm tryna
Love on her tonight.
So, I get out of bed, and open the
Window for a breeze.
As the air hits my skin, I'm wishing
It was her touching me.
Her hands are a paradise. I'm stressed
Out, need release.
Her lips are the only thing that'll
Give me inner peace.
So, I'll weep every night
And never sleep every night,
Because her love is the only thing I
Need every night.
But until I get her love and the
Rest that it brings,
I'll be tossing every night, still
Thinking 'bout these things.
Oct 2018 · 143
Love Me
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
My heart is the home you should
Lay your head.
Lay your head on my chest and
Rest.
I promise you that I can give my
Best.
My best is amazing, it is nothing less.
You are nothing less than a *** of gold.
For all your love, my soul is sold.
I'm comfortable with it growing old.
I just hope that you never flip or fold.
But you can fold my heart in two,
If you,
Decide my pain is beautiful.
I won't cry. I won't even lie,
I'll just give my life and my truth to
You.
Oct 2018 · 114
Mood Ring
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
Eyes change like your
Mood.
I'm tryna put you into one.
Nobody gotta be involved
If you tell them it's for fun.
'Cause when you show them that
It's real, you'll never get what you
Crave.
It seems Captain save a *** is the
*** that needs saved.
And you gon' dig your own grave if
You playing with my pain because
I'm not the kind of girl to just sit and
Not complain.
See, I'm the kind of girl who's gonna
Slowly feel insane.
So you should probably pick your
Battles
The way your eyes pick your mood.
It's better to have some say on the
Things that cause your wounds.
Oct 2018 · 258
Nite
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
Who's the one you wanna hold
In the night time?
I'll be calling your name 'til
I'm alright.
Nah, I'll be smoking my pain
Through a hot pipe.

I'm a hothead when it comes to
Hotspots.

Don't have me out here looking
Stupid for a long kiss.
Quite easy to love and hard to dismiss.
You're dismissive with aggression
In an instance.
You make me question my whole
**** existence.
And I'm persistent with my faith
In this distance.
Never gonna cheat. I'll never need
A mistress.
But ima warn you, I can turn really
Distant.
I be feeling that neglect with my
Wrists slit.

And with my wrists slit,

If I ever bleed much,
Please bury me right behind a
**** bush.
Get high with the ghosts until
They see us.
Nah, I don't ask much, but believe
I need much.

If you're blind, if you're blind,
Gouge your eyes out.

I'm the one you wanna hold in the
Night time.
I'm the one you wanna hold in the
Night time.
But I ain't calling your name for a
Long time.
Oct 2018 · 125
Burden
Misty Meadows Oct 2018
When it's dark, oh it's dark,
We'll never see the light of day.
When it hurts, oh it hurts.
They'll never see the time I pay.
I pay in blood.
Where's your heart?
Does it fade like sacred moons?
I'm the angel of your burden.
I'm your favorite thing to lose.
Sep 2018 · 170
Equalizer
Misty Meadows Sep 2018
Since you're testing me, there's a
Game to be played.
First, I grab a lighter and I gotta
Have my blade.
I put the knife to your stomach
With this slight pressure made.
The blade has a shadow. Hide
Your fear within the shade.

Hide your fear away from me
Because I see it as a feast.

You were a monster to my heart,
So I'm at the belly of the beast.

With a knife and a lighter.
I could slice you with the fire.
I could split your flesh open
And strip you of desires...

All the desires of a lifetime.
You're playing with your lifeline.
You expect me to sympathize,
But *****, you on my time.

And the clock ticks slow when
There's a lot you've been through.
So use this time to pray for them
Regrets and sins too.

And don't beg or plead because
I won't give a ****.
I'm not God. When I look at you,
I just see another man.

That means we have the same
Status and get the same respect.
And after I **** you,
Tne same afterdeath.

I'm willing to meet you in
Hell for the pain you caused my
Life.

So I say a little prayer, then
Glide across you with the
Knife
Sep 2018 · 373
1,000
Misty Meadows Sep 2018
I be fired up with the anger of a
Thousand slaves.

I have many vessels, so that
Blood can spill a thousand ways.

I'm not frightened by the reaper.
He has my address.

You wanna **** me? Here's my life,
You can have the rest.

I know the hate they got for me
Ain't a real concern.

But that won't stop me from giving
Them what they deserve.

You wanna fight, you wanna shoot,
You wanna pull knives out?

Don't be surprised, I done told you
Like a thousand times now.

I could really **** you now, but I rather
See you suffer.

**** a thousand of your relatives
And that includes your mother.

I got a thousand different ways
To make the pain go even.

A thousand causes for my anger.
Don't be another reason.

They underestimate my threats
With a scoff and a grin.

When I have a thousand different
Reasons to commit these awful sins.
Sep 2018 · 305
Red Rhythm
Misty Meadows Sep 2018
Me and the devil do this dance
With the pole.
He said put it to my head, spin around
And let it go.
He said if I spin faster, I won't
Even know.
He said he gon count to three and
He gon take my soul.

All you see is red spilling from my
Thoughts.
All I hear is y'all sobbing for your
Faults.
Sep 2018 · 153
Bluff
Misty Meadows Sep 2018
That girl don't love me like she
Say she do.
If she did, she'd make herself
More available.
But she don't, she leaves me in
The cold air.
She leaves me broken, with no
Care.
I often find myself excusing this.
I blame it on my uselessness.
That girl don't need me like she
Say she does.
I'm just a swift enjoyment.
An energy rush.
And now she's burnt out, with no need
To give
And now I'm burnt out with no reason
To live.
I'm not love sick nor love ridden.
She must've forgotten she's forgiven.
Forgetful and smitten.
My heart can't take the
Torture.
That girl don't love me like she
Say she do and I
Cannot force her.
Aug 2018 · 248
Common Insanity
Misty Meadows Aug 2018
This plan right here is foolproof.
Ima kick back under a cool roof,
With my eyes closed and my
Blunt packed.
So there's no room
For my family to talk smack.
And I'm a real friend,
But I'm lonely.
I gotta let this warm food
Hold me.

Because who else will?
That's a good question.
All my trauma has taught me
Lessons.
And the best one
That I've learned yet,
Is there's no freedom
If you ain't hurt yet.

And maybe I'm a little
Biased.
But you'd be too,
If right behind your eyelids,
Were eyes that
Seen such violence--
That you begged to become quite
Blinded.

Because this ****'s real,
But your dreams ain't.
Eat your meals three times
On a green plate.
It reminds you
To be a cheapskate.
You need full pockets
To dine on lean steak.

I done told them,
And I done warned you,
That all of America is scorned too.
The politicians and the
Potheads.
Your family tree looks more
Like a cobweb.

Your addiction is the way
You numb pain.
Your ***, your drugs, your
Slot games.
You hate it, but you hate this
Life more.
You pray? Do you pray to the
Right Lord?

Do you force yourself,
Just like me?
Don't feel bad. Inside we're
All just dying.
If you know, you know
Aug 2018 · 365
Frenemy
Misty Meadows Aug 2018
My aggression is small like an
Empty balloon,
But with too much tension,
It could fill this **** room.

I can cause you discomfort
If I choose to.

I'll ruin your life
If I pursue you.

There's no boundaries for me
Once I seek what I seek.

No surroundings of peace
Once you come challenge me.

I'll be an amazing friend,
If you let me.
But an even better enemy
Once you offend me.

Please don't test me or play,
'Cause I'm the best at games.
Bring a friend to the Heavens,
But a foe to the flames.
Jul 2018 · 209
Hereditary
Misty Meadows Jul 2018
Slits on your wrists
From a life that don't exist..
That's the perception that these
Relatives have.
Depression and pain, things that
Make you insane, ain't exactly
Something that most black people
Grasp.

They so used to the struggle that
We're given at birth. When you
Venting to them, they'll say we cursed
From the womb.
So ain't no venting to them because
They'll deem you ungrateful.
The **** ain't that serious until they're
Facing your tomb.
This is an actual problem in the community
Jul 2018 · 161
Often
Misty Meadows Jul 2018
You're awfully beautiful,
But not an awful person.
Is it even possible to love you
Without being a whole burden?
I'm nervous and uncertain
'Cause you neglect my heart so
Often.
Jul 2018 · 242
Back of My Mind
Misty Meadows Jul 2018
With smoke against the night sky,
Somehow I am the bad guy.
I walk around so uptight,
But still, I have these "laugh lines,"
On my face.
I don't know a place
Where I don't have to tip toe like
There's land mines.
I remember playing Minesweeper
And sneezing all the **** time.
  All on my computer screen.
Allergic to the rules of things.
Allergic to reality.
I feel my family doubting me.
If sanguis est crassius quam aqua,
Then why do strangers lounge
With me,
And seem like they're so proud of me?
Well, actually in actuality,
That's just as false.
Guess I'm bound to see
The truth that's been
Surrounding me.
May 2018 · 356
X,Y,Z
Misty Meadows May 2018
This holy ground seems
So profound,
But we don't tip-toe.
See, we stomp around,
Like a marching band
On this sacred land.
It wasn't taught to us,
We won't understand.
It wasn't brought to us.
We don't get the plan.
We got many thoughts
And ideas shoved
In these minds of ours,
But they say we're lost.
They gon hate on us,
Claim we'll break their trust,
But the truth is
They hate our youthful lust.
They loathe the little spark
In the eyes of ours.
We don't want no war,
So they call us cowards.
And because our lives
Are more simplified,
They think their attitudes
Are quite justified.
But in the thick of it,
If our skin is "thin,"
Then their hearts are cold.
So, who could ever win?
Apr 2018 · 269
Front
Misty Meadows Apr 2018
I'm sick of indulging in
Calamity.
You ain't God, but there tryna
Examine me.
You can play the role like you
Care for me.
But you don't.
You front for all the
Family.
So, ****** is me
If I let it be.
If I let you do it, but
I ain't dumb, you see.
I ain't gon pay a fee
For the things you do,
Or your sins pursued.
That's insanity.
Apr 2018 · 162
Utilization
Misty Meadows Apr 2018
Honestly,

I feel like the devil been taking bribes,
By helping these spiteful people
Cause pain that I can't describe.
And lately, I've been craving
A dose that is not prescribed.
'cause I'd rather be the reason for
Ruining my own life.

And if I take my own life,
Please don't call it a suicide.
'cause suicide involves intention,
And lately, I can't decide.
It's a battle between my heart
And the depths of my own mind.
But if life hands me the blades,
Best believe, I will utilize.
Mar 2018 · 168
Off The Wagon
Misty Meadows Mar 2018
I seen some shadows much like you,
But they don't scare me.

No, they don't scare me,
'cause lately, I'm so daring.

And I've been stepping into potholes
With my bare feet.

Since you've had me,
I don't hesitate with sharing.

And there's a strong, strong scent
From the pits of hell,
For you.

Probably a stench for me too,
If they question what I do.

'cause I've been staring at these blades
And assorting pills by hue.

But I ain't tryna touch that plant,
Because the famer's guilty too.

Now, I don't got no quick fix or a
Hit list.

I know my woman just might leave me
If I miss this.

So, into an abyss, goes all my wishes.

I can't stand it. All the pain makes my
Decisions.
Mar 2018 · 319
Median
Misty Meadows Mar 2018
Things ain't looking too straight.

They only feel you when it's
Too late.
Please keep that same energy when
My wrists leak that
Cruel lake.

They'll be swimming in regret
Next to the crocodile--

Tears.

They not gonna feel me with their
Heart,
Nor will they listen with their
Ears.
They gonna drown me in their
Fears.

The very memory of me.

The way my brow dripped with
Hurt.
The way my eyes lacked a gleam.

Don't ask me what this means,
Because the average friend could
See.
That where's there's sorrow,
There's no tomorrow.
So death just had its way with
Me.
Mar 2018 · 354
Pal
Misty Meadows Mar 2018
Pal
See, I don't burn bridges.
I jump off of 'em.

No reason to feel guilty,
Just know that I am not
Responsible.

Even with hint after hint,
You sit so comfortable.

Wallow in your silence,
Block my violence,

So that none of this can
Trouble you.
Feb 2018 · 673
Purple Flames
Misty Meadows Feb 2018
I see no evil, but I speak it and I
Heard it.
When you're friendly with the devil,
Things can kind of get disturbing.

He told me earth is not the place I
Wanna be.
I should reside in the minds
Of those who practice perjury.

So...

I was feasting on them lies
And I was dying for them recipes.

Dining in the darkness
With them demons sitting next to me.

Feeding me my hatred.
Sipping goblets of promethazine.

Then suddenly, they're sinking their
Sharp teeth into the flesh of me.
...

Now I'm hoping and I'm praying
That someone comes to
Rescue me.
But I know that it's my fault.
I should've dabbled in some
Better things.

Now, I'm feeling so embarrassed.
And now, I'm a disaster.
After one small mistake, another
Tumbles right after.

And I'm a writer, so I know
I could've made a different chapter.
But I let the devil sway me
To this tragically ever after.
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