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A touch
A kiss
A prayer
A smile
Every form is a feel.
So is the fear
Is the dismay
And the thought of
Unmoving time.
Deep pains unknown to self
Reveals its presence
Like an heart attack
Its root cause cannot be found
And lo its presence
Can never be healed.
Blessed are these moments of curse.
Blessed I am for being cursed.
A girl is a slave
Who can put good clothes
Who can eat better food
Who can wear gold ornaments
Who can walk in high heels
Who can talk to all
Who can smile
Who can sleep
But who cannot go out
Who wont get wages
Who should not know freedom
Who should not know relaxation
Who should not dream of relations
Who should not think of what she was
Who must forget who she is...
And yes, I am also a girl.

Mpk
Losing oneself into the breeze was wondrous,
Faulting someone else was slanderous,
Motioning to infinity without wings was flops,
I knew it's a moreover repetitious,
But for sure its own consciousness,
Not calligraphy of plagiarisms,
But that of blusterous
Like the great Helios.
Misspelled was it,
When I became a teacher.
Correctly realized it,
When I was a student.
Age shows the growth
And fading of life,
I realized that when my memory decayed.
Dared not to say
Out into the world
Fearing ignorance
Which I already suffered.
I was loved and cajoled,
But in vanity I fall.
Like a fool my hope
Believed I am alone
Trust me when I say,
I was cared and loved,
But, I believed I am always alone.
Like a goat seeking freedom
I too pondered for it
But wholly I was fooled
Believing I am strong.
Dead was I for tears and tares
Strength was just a belief
That I falsely moulded.
But, trust me when I say,
Foolishness or maturity,
That fake belief made me alive today.
Trust #confidence #belief on self #firm hold of breath
Believed to be a fairy
Because they told me so
But became a burden
Bringing glee into darkness.
Hmm! Life is great
I laughed,
Enjoyed,
For a whole year deeply
And lo! Got a full stop
For next break again.
Ha ha ha... fun, oh fun
Life is full of pun.
Thanks to whatever I have
And thanks to however I am
Yet! It is a burden
For those tears shedding
For me and because of me.
#burden #parents #care #pain
Changes that are paid great wages
Just touched my life with this 'writing'
I knew never how I too paid my change
But oh yes my changes gained a more
Little before I knew something around
Manything around vanished and changed
And now the writing which
Has become my life beat, daily smile
And tear console and more and more in my life...

Mpk
Every single dread breath i take in my life
Has sworn and worn out like a bug in my drugs
And yet it made me feel the trance i wanted to feel
That is the beauty of the deity that i lost
That i host

Every single nudge in my hike is a spike
By my friend to an end but to an idiot
It us just a piece of pic or byte wasted
Which feel is best than any uncovered fleet
Than any uncovered sheet

Every single dripping is like a tripping in my heart
Just to feel that the buzzing of busy god
Amidst the lazy modern rabbits in the race
While sloths are hurry burry in their fairy furry works
In their wary leary lurks
Dread breath, lurking life, tripping heart n smile
A dream that I dreamed
Came before me in real
Not virtual
Not plastic
Not elastic
But unattainable
Yet it was real.
Chance was that
To me to hold
Like a chance to child
To catch the star
Though child reached sky
Saw star as she wanted
But the pain that created
Was severe and adorable.
Gulping the thirst
Like empty water pool
I left my real
Dream, just like a dream itself.
Depth is found in each pain
Worth is found in each thought
Reckless me became a memory
New version yet to evolve
With one more scar
Yet hopefully waiting for the light.
I was active in that crowd
There was none who
Knew not my name
But years have passed
I have not gone there
And they never enquired.
They are not my famiky
They are not my friends
They are acquaintances...
So yes, why should they care?
It was my foolishness
To expect...
I know ignorance is pain
And I knew it well
When my kith n kin left me
I should have known
Acquaintaces are more far
From all others...
I am fading in myself
I am folding into myself
Hy yaar, ignorance hurts
So is the fading.
Don't ignore. If you can't care, don't give false hopes.
GAP
GAP
Time that passed
Made me relax and enjoy,
Relieving me from words
From emotions,
From pains and senses...
Strange is life in its dapples
Contrasting is taste of time samples
Pain heaped words that healed many
Smile heaped actions that wounded many.
Time teaches the value of gap.
When he said
"You rarely smile with me,
You always turn to me blue,
But you talk so long
And happy when your friend call.
Doesn't that irritate me?"
She just turned to him
With tear drops on cheek
And with ocean in eyes,
With thunders in mind.
Her friend then told him
"The rare times when she
Smiled with you
Was then when you talk good of her.
You saw her flaws,
Told her to change.
You saw her blue
But ignored her grey.
You expected her shine
But you covered her with dark.
If you would have left her
With what she is,
Or do to her
What you expect from her,
She might not have even
Touched the phone
When you were beside."
Now, he turned to her
With tears in heart
And question marks in eyes
While her ocean poured out
With weight of the arrow
That pierced his heart.
I can't laugh
All the time
I can't smile
All the time
I can't stretch my lips
All the time
Aall the time...

I can't see you
All the time
I can't care you
All the time
I can't pay attention
All the time

I can't show
All the time
I can't mingle
All the time
I can't be social
All the time
Because
I can't be this
Every time

I have a place
Within in my mind
On my face
In my attitude
A high altitude
That can't be reached
By you

Its so high
Its so dry
Its so shy and
Hi fi
You will never know
You will never understand
So please leave me alone.

J want to go
Where someone will say hai
Someone will say bye
Someone show a smile
Someone show a wave
Someone ask "you want help?"
Someone ask "you OK?"
But just that its enough
Just that, and not anymore...

Please don't love me
Please don't care me
I can neither give you back
Nor can I hold that much
Please just leave me alone.

I cant act anymore
I cant be in crowd anymore
Please leave me
To find a space of my own.
Lit the light,
For not a fright,
But to get a bright,
And be always happy.

       Wish for a You,
       Don't be harsh in few,
       But remember even in a dew
       We find the little smile.
So smile even a while,
And make you noble,
For all You be a model,
And smile blooms in all.
Migrative bird is I
     Moving, crossing fields of
Optimism, pessimism and dreamism
     The lands where all visit.
Holy Shrine are these
     Where the purgatory fire is
Flowered at the entrance
      To make a screening of thoughts.
Travelogue written in languages
      Multiple to human brain but
Monoslang to the mind
      Of owner of the impure soul.
Wisheth to back up the resign
      Valedicting my sins and
Thoughts of confusion of innocence
      Perplexing What I Am!
How can you smile?
   When your heart is aching so hard...
How can others say you great?
   When you hide your real feelings...
How can you be so hard?
   To hide your tears from reaching eyes...
I tried and tried, but no never,
   I made it to stop from reaching cheeks,
But harder it was to stop from reaching eyes,
   And it was the most hardest by laughing with tears.

You believe in miracle?
Ha! Yes I do...because
All these happened to me
When my mom's face appear in my mind.
Drowsy was I, when I heard thy voice,
Numb I became, when I felt thy presence,
But Lethe I became, when I read thine poem,
And danced like a drunkard in the floor.

Wished to flee away,
Dared to shout aloud,
Earnestly prayed for this moment
To stay with me forever.

But, I knew the fact, time will pass,
I realize the truth, this has to go on,
Now I can just feel, for this moment
And make myself content with heart-foot filled.
She held on to what she knew
She fell on to what she already felt
She watched all dramas which ****** is known
She always repeated
Though she hated repetition.
Was the hatred fake? Or a mistake?
Do not know.
Just clear sky revealed
Her fear of new, phobia on strangeness
Whoo she is stuck with what she only knew
Poor pity fellow, gona be dust within it.
Khuda was to life
Even though it was bragged
And dragged
Khuda was to family love
Even though there was million homeless
And houseless
Khuda was to smile
That visited all without discrimination
And counted sin
Khuda was to tears
That too visited all inspite of blessings
And great riches
Khuda was to Khuda
For the unseen presence
And unknown absence.
Rabba teri Khuda.
Time that she ignored
Was her ally always
Time that she only dreamed of
Was her breath and soul
Time that she thought she owned
Was her tide of mind
Time passed
She was left
Whole universe unmoved
Every light turned dark
Every sound faded to silence
She was engulfed in dessert
Sands of wine poured and watered
Phew! Still she is breathing
Not alive! No, not dead!
Being still in stillness of still water was still a legendary talent.
She was one among that legends.
#void #empty #useless #alive
I know how it is
I don't know why it is
It came my way
When I never expected
It brightened my way
When I never cared it
Brightening
Brightened
Bright it became
And when I stretched
To reach out for it
It just became a mist
Hallucination!
Imagination?
Questioned it a lot
I felt bad
I felt wounded
I felt scorned
Detached
Isolated
Left out
But oh deep inside
A little spark sparkled
Just saying softly
Slowly
Quietly
Like a repeat
"It atleast
Made you think different
It atleast for a second
Brought a hope.
Don't deny the ignorance
It is helping you
Out of worst reality
Which you are passing through"
That's true.
Demands are in a high resist
Towards the ending death of dreams
Sealed are the working leaves
Tethered to the net of breath
Life may fly like a tilted child
But converging thoughts are in confusion.
So is my heart dark and rough
Rocky and clustered,
Waiting for a simple, strong breeze.
Life became a mess
Just when she left.
Neither she is my love
Nor I am hers.
Yet her disappearance
Costed a lot in me
Realising how valuable was she to me
And how weak I have become.
She stood beside me
When I was really alone,
She knew me
More than I did myself,
But she knew not
That she was a gift of mine
And that lack of knowledge
Made her walk away from me.
Oh my friend
I know you for you
Became my ally when its needed
But you left me
Amongst a crowd with whom I laughed
But you ignored the sight
That I was just laughing there
Not happy indeed
And in that crowd you left me
Again leaving me to be alone.
But thank you
You was there with me
When I was broken
And you patched my wounds
Left me with a crowd
But I know
You are alone, so broken than I was.
Every profile is scrolled
Every status is viewed
Every pic is saved
Every second is shed
Yet I dream
Yet I dream
For something
Which will never be mine.
Yet I dream
Yet I dream
Which has only been in my dream.
They say it is hope
They say it is nonsense
I too tried to believe
Every word they said
But oh deep
Still it haunts
Still it chases
Uncontrollably
Still it haunts
Still it chases
Unfeasibly.
Why! Oh why!
I know we have crossed
It several times
Like the count of seconds
That have passed
I know we will cross it
Normally and mysteriously
Like always
But its haunting
Its chasing
Oh deep please leave me.
Little things that brought me down
Was always amidst the ***** gown
All hopes to see a fairy shown
But despite their breath it was a clown

It was sad, and bad
When they acted like a lad
The drought that I had
Was never known
Little puppet was made
Like a fairy angel in shade
She was dressed in pink
And so was named Rosy in ink
Lime was her taste
Ants were her mates
Littering was her weakness
Loitering was her meanness
Eyes are red with blue *****
Life are blue with red falls
Ocean chiseled her heart
And purgation baked her to frost.
Now time has come for her
To let go off what is not hers.
But still the sculpture is busy
And her emotion is again in fussy.
There is love after solitude
There is solitude after love
There is strength in simple
There is weakness in complex
Vice versa in old path
Same verse in preset path.
Somewhere in the deep unseen tides
I lost my thoughts within
Towards the end of set of light
Some dew drops snowed onto my palm
Sitting on the shore
With eyes stretched out to ocean
Thoughts again rolled in
Words were breeze
Motions are in freeze
Left alone
Me and ocean
The tides gathered lot of craps
Things were taken to the shore
By the tides that are from long
I knew not how hard it was
Dark clouds moved
Without spilling drops
And light enrolled their stand
With a deep shadow of light
Pouring on my shoulders....
Deep breathe
Pain in my throat was severe
Eyes was clear
Mind was calm
But....
I don't know!
#ocean #thoughts
My hands
My knees
My eyes
My sense
But
It is not alone
Sense of sensibility
That of We and Me
Grew harder and harder
When glow of selfishness
Broken up out
Shallows and Valleys
Tops and downs
Love to ignorance
Everything is in us
Only within us

I am alone
We are alone
So simple to know
We need you.
If emptiness is a disease
   I am the patient,
If friendship is a curse
   I am the sinner,
If love is rainbow
   I am the rain,
If memories are past
   I am a history,
If camera makes an album
   My eyes makes an epic,
If every 'if' leads to something
   My nothing makes me everything.
You wanna change me
From what I am
For this ****** heads
Who judge you by every turn.

You wanna make me perfect
From the beautiful imperfections of mine
For the perfect that ****** heads have designed
Who never ever know to see the real beauty.

You wanna see me good and crowdy
From the holy loneliness of mine
For standing amidst that crowd
Who knew not to respect from heart.

You wanna take me
From the peace of difference I created
For the motioning ***** drives
Who is emotionless of themselves.

You wanna me to be happy
Oh so do please let me
Live a lively life of mine
That I deciphered from the imperfections of mine.
#Perfection #Society $decency @to follow the crowd
Days of words
Rolled up just like that
With one little push
That was blocked
By a ******* curtain
Now falling down,
Falling down the frill.
Words of ocean,
Smell and taste,
Feel and thoughts,
Here it comes just like that
Again.

— The End —