I went for a swim
in a sea of emotions
the water enticed me
with its glistening beckon

but the water was thick
and down like a stone
I sank in the sea

growing more and more quiet
and still
and dark

as I drifted
deeper and deeper
into the sea.

Time passes fast
And in it,
If I have not conveyed myself,
I have done nothing.

Alas, Spring is here!

A fine young woman
Hearty and young
Full of life

Plump and fertile
With pale white skin
Pink cheeks, lively eyes
And brown curls around her face

Her arms are full
With flowers of yellow and white
And she carries loaves of bread
In a sack on her back

Children skip behind her
In streams of laughter
And she leaves a trail
Of petlas on their path

She wears a halo of sun
Above her full face

And a flower crown
On her soft bed of hair

She breaths warmth on the days
Melting mornings like butter

And when she cries, it rains
And the town becomes silent
Giving room to the boom
Of her sorrowful roars

And when it is finished
She sings with joy
And the birds chime in
And the grass lifts
And horses drink peacefully
From a nearby stream

And the sky outpours its light
Affirming all will be alright

People rush from their doors
To observe the spring fair
Enjoying her celebratory visit
As the earth opens up,
To give way to life.

And when she leaves
Ever-so-quietly one night,
Her sister comes knocking,
Early in the next morning
With her fire red hair and safari eyes
Jumping and dancing and kissing the moon
Summer has arrived-

Followed by father autumn,
Whose quiet power
Sways life from the trees.
And mother winter,
Who brings comfort and rest
With her blanket of white.

Till' again spring returns
And all the world rejoices
At the arrival of their favorite guest,

Generous and humble
Marvelous,
Spring.

My heart beats slow
On this blue spring eve
Silence hums
As I continue on
This gentle, winding road

I know the song of the summer
It sings to me “enjoy”
In yellow hues and aqua greens
Velvet valore on the skin of my teeth
It sweeps my face and kisses my cheek
Oh, sweet song of summer
You make me complete.

Let me capture life
Celebrating itself
Before the sun
Drops into the sea

I love
The imperfection
Of who I am
Today.

Because God made me this way,
And gave me this day.

On a dirt road
I saw a man dancing

Stomping
Clouds of dust
Surrounding him
In an aura of earth

Like the moon
Dusted across the night sea
Something in him
Was magic

And so I stopped to say hello
While he kept dancing
I paused and watched
The novel parade
Of paradise prancing
Before my eyes

In a glimpse he was gone
Vanished before me
I watched the soot settle
And bowing down
I touched the earth
To feel if it was real

In my memory
That man dances on
Behind the cloud of beige
I watch him move in mystery

Wondering
When he will stop
So I can see
The spark of his splendor
Just a bit more clearly

She sat
Cross legged
Somehow assuming
the shape
Of a taught
bow and arrow

Palms resting open
White and fleshy,
As leavened dough
Before her womb
One over the other
In a tender gesture
Ever so still

She breathed
In and out

And her lips
Came to a subtle smile

And she looked beautiful there
In that peaceful position

And in her top, left palm
Was a cherry
Black and ripe
Ripe enough
To emit an aroma
That would travel
All the way up
To her creamy face
As she breathed it in
And enjoyed.

Its inner beauty
Leaving its flesh,
To be consumed,
Engulfed,
In her delight.

While all the while
Her plump and tender hands
Cradled the fruit
In its full integrity

Consuming it completely
In peaceful pleasure
Receiving its life
Without taking
a drop of its juice

Perched there,
Upon a cushion
Serenely smiling
At the paradox
She contained

The fruit of life, giving
And she, receiving
Without taking
In return.

I awake
To the gray of dawn
And listen to the hymn
Of the train and the winds

And watch the gray become blue
As, in the east,
The sun lifts
Its heavy weight
Over the horizon

And subtle pink hues
Dance wildly through
Tender morning skies
And clouds fill the space
Where heaven resides

From my home,
I watch another morning
Bloom with life
And become part
Of another day, again

I used to be a child.
My mothers child.
My fathers daughter.

I used to be the hope
In my grandmother's eyes.

I used to know her hands.

I used to have a brother, once.
We used to talk at night.

I used to run by cold, Atlantic waters.
Now I sit by the Pacific.

I used to have a brother once.

Stoic and gentle–
With dry eyes
And a giant, armored heart.

He, too, used to play in gray, New England tides.

I used to have a family.
We used to be a family.

Once the summer passes,
It’s really gone.

Never to return
In that particular, summer flavor.

So sweetly savored—
Or perhaps eagerly consumed,
Without a moment to enjoy...

Tides have come to rise and fall
over familiar sands

Many suns and moons
have shone upon shores

Children have laughed,
Mothers have rested.

Ice cream has melted
Down sticky hands.

Hot, starry skies
Have nurtured romance...
and reflected love
in innocent eyes

Life has bloomed
And as it appears-
And nothing has died.

But when summer passes,
It’s really gone.

Like the tide, the moon and the sun
Again to rise
In its rightful time...

I miss that man in the garden
With coarse dark hair and a smile
With thick skin
And callused hands
And a tender toughness
That appeals to a child

I miss that man at the table
Behind the morning paper
I miss his simple routines
And his humble ways

And I recognize in him
The strength of simplicity
The great honor and privilege
To live amongst
Such perfect repetition of pattern
What meaning it creates in time

I miss that man in the living room
Relaxed on the sofa at night

Oh the simplicity
It wrings at my heart
That being
Oh that being

Day in and day out
Over and over again
Oh what it means to be alive

In your presence,
Music plays in my ear.

Sometimes the beat is slow, like blues
And it pulls at my heart
Stretching it
Wider and wider
Till it feels it will break
Like the New Orleans Dam

And sometimes it’s fast like jazz
Fluttering my heart and my feet
Moving me in such a way
that feels disorganized
but really, it’s just too complex
for the mind to follow,
given its nature.

And occasionally
There is a slow, peaceful hymn
A solo harp
That simply
and purely
sings us both
into a sleep-like state

All these songs play in my ear
For you, depending on the day
Or the hour
Or the moment
Or the look in your eye
Or the tone in your voice

And given the hymn,
I am drawn to weep, or dance, or sleep

But frozen in space
I wait, intently watching your face
For some subtle indication
That you hear it too…

She covered herself
From head unto toe
Screaming and weeping
For not being seen

Show up,
Believe,
Proceed...

Today is one day
Just like the rest,
But unlike the others
It is here
Now.

Unlike tomorrow,
It holds the promise
Of existence.

And unlike yesterday
It provides opportunity
For change.

Today, her majesty
Is all we have.

When we salute her sunrise
And give way to her glory.

The shadows of yesterday
Come to rest
And the worries of tomorrow ease

And today opens her royal gates
To let in the living.

Tender tomorrows
Give rise
To blue skies –
Fresh beginnings.


I know,
Fall is near
With its crisp air,


And subtle, bitterness.


Tomorrow will come
Supple with autumn rays
Dancing across my face,


As i walk boldly
Across the shaky bridge,
Into the next season
That life has to give.

I don’t want to escape from this feeling
And yet,
I cannot bear
To withstand it, either…

You strike at my heart
It becomes tender
And with one final blow,
It breaks.

Chambers draw open
Contents outpour
And wide it remains
To receive all of life

Your heavy hand
Has made my heart
As tender as the soil
And as open as the sky

warm
heavy
honey

lust
trust
pull

flutter
flutter

pull
more
near

comfort
peace
calm

space

flutter
flutter

firece
de­sire

you
draw
me.

If I were to paint this grief,
I would use the sky as my canvas,
And it wouldn’t be great enough

If I were to sculpt this shame,
I would shape a new universe,
still too small to contain.

And if I were to sing this pain,
It would rumble the earth
Rise the tides
And shake the sun out of the sky

If I were to write this regret,
I would use every word,
In every language,
But still, it would be incomplete.

Nothing can convey
the state I am in.

The best I can do is pray it
And say Lord, have mercy.
Only you know my pain and my sorrow,
Let your light shine upon me,
And make me new.

Only you know me.
Christ have mercy
On me, a sinner.

Looking back
I can see..
how deep
and how true,
my love was-
for you.

I am too tired to hide,
From you anymore.

This is who I am.

The sweet thing about the end
Is that it necessitates surrender
And builds humility.

Even in the final hour,
Truth will always triumph.

The Great Niagra Falls
Spilling over like my love
loose and reckless
alive and fruitful

And having found a source
an outlet for this outpouring love
this deep inborn desire to say 'yes'
with all of me; my life

This thick lust for life
and for love
and this perfect intuition
to give it all away

I am proud to be alive.
And to have the capacity
in my bones and in my flesh
to say 'yes' with all of me

So small and so fragile
yet having existed forever.

Nonetheless, impermanent, I am.
Here to make a permanent mark
with this pen and this paper
and this racing heart
so uniquely my own
and so beautifully similar to the rest.

All here through the great devotional
journey of our ancestors
so gladly outpouring life,
like the great Niagra Falls
Into the present moment,
into our hands

And so,
I pick up this pen
and I write.

Rushing waters
Of trust

A blurred,
Deep gaze

The graze of a hand

A glance
A note
A smell
salty skin

Mornings-
Sun in the face
Yawns and touch

Holding tight
In the black of the night

Wishing for eternity
Then, wanting an end

And together was done
And tomorrow came
And we went on alone

And somehow survived
This bleak, white world
alone.

When joy returns,
After a long time away
It’s like she had never gone away,

When joy returns,
She comes with light
Bright enough to cover the night
That came before.

When joy returns
She let’s you see
A divine hand aiding your mistakes
So you know the journey was all worthwhile.

When joy returns
– and she always does.

Your heart is wider and fuller than before
Because sorrow swells it for good.

But when joy returns,
She obtains all the new space that the sorrow has made.
And inhabits it, radiantly.

And when joy comes home,
You’ll know it.

Because you’ll see yourself there, again.

With calloused feet and open eyes and a blazing heart
I run through high grass, unforged before
And I wipe my own tears from my face.

And I dance with Christ
beside rushing rivers.

And I breathe life in
And I want to be seen.

And I try so hard to trust in God.
And I kneel before him.
And I weep as I write.

And I am humbled by life,
and all of my losses.

And I Rise.

The soles of my feet were not born strong
Obedience and grace built them that way.

And if I had one thing to do with my life.
I would continue to give it all away.

So simple a story
And so magnificent

how your existence
And my being
Lay together
As evening dim
Sweeps across us

Sometimes
The most simple things
Are the most aweing
And you, Ahmed
Make me wonder

You are my surrender to night
the days last exhale,
That dances into dreams..

You are the arch of day,
the warm rays of morning
the delight of new light...

a forest breeze
between the trees,

the bloom of laughter.
the evaporation of thoughts.

a beckoning gate, of which I step through-

Into your peaceful
And gentle presence.

All I want to do is write
and rest

I wish you were here
All I want
is to show you my heart

maybe then you could do something about it
fix it, its broken

I call for you
sending empty echoes
across the Pacific

while Christ waits patiently by my side

Feeling
so much it exhausts me

my heart beats double
one for me and one for you

I can't explain it
these words never will
although you always probed me to try

poem after poem i write for you
crawling through the trenches of this heart
that was so open
how can it reassemble

so beautifully broken to take you in
and now that you're gone
all these pieces, all this space
and all i want to do is sleep

Trees in the breeze
Sun on the skin
Love in the heart

Quiet contentment—
Filled with a subtle hunger
For what tomorrow will bring

Knowing, without thought
That everything will be ok.

Nothing wrong,
Nothing right.

But everything
Perfectly,
Peacefully
And quietly-
Okay
Today.

And full of pleasure
In what rests ahead.