There is a quiet whisper
in the corner of my mind
it speaks to me on dark days
when the sunlight I can't find

It speaks of secret hatred
wrapped up in friendship's ruse
and though I try to fight it
my will it soon subdues.

I struggle in my silence
hiding all behind my smile
no emotion breaks the surface
as I tell the world "I'm Fine"

There is a quiet whisper
growing quickly to a scream
as I weave a noose of secrets
bringing end to foolish dreams.

I still dream of you
Walking softly through carpeted hallways
As to not wake your daughters
Checking on them in slumber

Warm eyes would greet mine come morning
"Well hello there gorgeous."
Forming across those kiss hungry lips

I see pictures of you
Whisked back up in that moment
Tears fall, chin trembles
All I can hope for is your comfort
I cannot be selfish, wishing you home
When pain was your constant companion

Though, love played a huge part too
I could not ease the ache your mortal form was cursed with
Your soul, however, sought out my touch

In my old age that is what will shine bright
Amid years and years of faded shadows
The memory of your smile
*The sweet taste of your love

I still wake up
not remembering
Reaching for your warmth
*I always do

In crisp, golden veined perfection
We accept your semi-sharp edge
You are not a harbinger of cold
But more a cauterizing cure for summer wounds
Without your tough love we would be blind sided
January would cut deep and quick
Pulling what breath remained into ice
Lungs frozen in mid-sentence
No, dear autumn, you are a rotten balm
Blanketing tender roots with the dead
No wonder we don masks in your beginning
Mourning the loss of those near and dear the day that follows
Morning walks become more brisk
A sweated brow welcomed with relief
From rosy cheeked breezes
A sun that no longer warms
Merely giving light for the coming darkness

North, South, East and West
Circle round and practice best
Let nothing through that would cause harm
Hold the walls, sound the alarm*

In misty grove she weaved and braided
Her love and kindness never sated
Energy flowed to and from
Body swaying to the midnight hum
Full moon gazed upon white flesh pure
Knowing in silence the loss she endured
To keep her mind clear and her nerves at ease
She lost herself amongst the trees
A spell was spun to heal other's hearts
For her's and grieving would never part
The only cure is to help and to give
That is how she chose to live

Lost in my personal hell
The depths of my mind
Deeply ingrained memories
But I can't seem to find
The ones that I want
The ones with smiles
And laughing
And your touch,
Warm hands on my skin
And yes I am ticklish,
Extremely so, and everywhere
Are you?
I'll find out, eventually
Snippets of us run through my mind
But it's mostly of other times
When you wasn't there
And all I felt was fear
And anger and hatred
You're one of the few,
The few I could love
But, you don't want me to fall quite yet
Why not?

Do you know who you are?
Have you figured out where you belong in this world?
Where have your morals gone?
Where have your boundaries gone?
Cigarettes used to be enticing but I don't want to taste them on your lips.
When I swim I think of the similarities between drowning in water and drowning in your words.
Both feel like I'm inhaling nothing but space and the universe.
It's devastating but it gets the job done of killing me either way.