3 plus plus
I have been painting
A picture of us
I am not done yet
But pls dont make a fuss.

3 quarter...?
I think thats how long
We have been together
Seems pretty l     o     n    g
But we've been through all kinds of weather.


Well, listen
I know we get restless
I know we get scared
I know we get bored
I know we get despaired

But listen
Lets continue kicking butts
Cos im not done spanking yours.

Why is it so hard to do the right thing?
Why is this even the right thing?
I'm not strong enough for this
Al I do is think of you
You, you and you.
I could go for so many girls out there
And be free like how I wanted to be
But all i want is you
You, you and you.
I wonder why did I even do it
Because at every single second of the day
I just really want to turn back
And run to you
Never run away again
Because I am still madly in love
With you.

I will always be in love with you, Sweetheart. Always.

A part of me will save itself for you
While the other parts will distract themselves
From you.

But at the end of the day
I will always want you, love.
Always.

I am letting you go now
Slowly and surely
These feelings may fade for you
And you may fall for someone else

But at the end of the day,
I will always end up falling for you.
Always.

But most importantly
I will always remember you
In my mind, my heart and my soul.

You will always be a part of me.

Always.

I want to **** myself

For being gay.

Just save me from this

And take me away.

I broke you
I desperately pick all the pieces up
I cut myself
And as i bleed and cry
I try to put you back together.

I question myself after
If I am actually worthy enough
To hold you, a fine piece of china.
Because im scared of breaking
You again.

Because my fingers are not strong enough
For you.

Any moment without you by my side
Is a nightmare i cant deny

Your smile
Even if its not for me
Even if the reason for that smile
Isnt me
Still can save me.

Your voice
Even if you are not talking to me
Even if you are not laughing with me
Still can make me
Fall.

Your touch
Even if its not on me
Even if i will never feel it again
Will wake me

Up

From the nightmares
That haunt me
Any moment you are not by my side.

I am not a person who cries a lot.

But I am crying almost all the time

And even when im surrounded with people

I am crying inside.

So many people talked to me today
But the only thing i could hear was,
"Im ******* done with you" and,
"Stay the **** away

From me."

I didnt wanna lose you again. Ever again.

But I didnt hold onto you right. I ****** up.

And all that I have caused is pain.

And I have already started missing you

Since my time was up.

I ****** up. Again.

I have lost you. Again.

I have never been so angry at myself

Never.

Its over.

Im about to blow
And ******* end this
But really its not the right time.
My heart is really heavy
But i feel really empty
I need to think
But really i cant breathe
You are really suffocating.

this is too much
This is too much
This is too much
I dont want this
You were never mine to begin with
What the hell am i even holding on to
I dont know anymore
And its not her fault
It really isnt
Stop ******* hating on her
cut all these chains

Really though, if you were my future, i would ***** everything for you.
But you know i know you are not
So really, Shut the **** up. ***** you.

Here is how my days used to be.
Wake up, grab my phone
Look you up, and see whats going on
Then I look her up, and greet her
Then i spend the rest of my day
With her, ignoring you.
You do not exist. At all.

Here is how my days go now.
Wake up, grab my phone.
Look you up, and ask you whats going on.
Stare at my phone, waiting for you to tell me its on.
And when you do, i would smile like crazy.
Then go to school, and greet her.
Spend the day with her, waiting for the night to come
So that I could run to you.
I spend my days craving for the nights.

You exist.
In every single breath i take.
In every single second of my day.

I wont do it.
I wont do it.
I wont do it.
I wont do it.
I wont do it.

No matter how many times I say I wont do it, it will never be stronger than the urge to do it. But I wont do it. I wont do it.

Im about to lose the both of you
Maybe its for the better.

Okay that is it.
I exploded
And I am crying.

I love you
I would do anything for you
Except give her up
Because she is everything to me
And I am in love with her.

You think you know
But you dont.

I want to

Hold on very much

But I have to go

I'll miss you so much.

We wont be

Keeping in touch

But please dont forget me

As you'll stay right there in my heart.

This page is for me
On the road to recovery
As i try to live with the memories
Of you and me.

This page is for me
As i take it one day at a time
Till the day i think
I can get over you and me.

But for now
This page is for me
To show you
That all i can truly
Think about
Is you.