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Sep 2019 · 140
A letter to my next love
Apostrophe's Sep 2019
Hard to believe we've never met before
Are you sure?
Broken promises and shattered dreams
Splattered against the wall
When our back's against it
At least it holds us up so we won't fall
Waiting for this day since the day that I could crawl
Off into the world without a care about it all
Now I care about it all too often
My life is clay that hardened, cracked, and softened
Roll it in the shape of a ball
Mold it into stronger features
Learn from past experiences
At least I've strengthened weaknesses
That had my pretentious self
Aware that defense wins championships
Abandon ship cuz offense puts the points on the board
I swayed back and forth
**** it! I'm not keeping score
The balance lies right in the middle
Give alot and take a little
Just don't be bewildered
When there's nobody there to shelter you from the storm
A break away from what's become the norm
Come explore this world with me and throw normalcy out the door
It's just a constant state of being; learn your own way don't conform
The burning desire only lasts so long
Let's make it last forever, work together, and get to where we belong
Sep 2019 · 117
Tear it down to build it up
Apostrophe's Sep 2019
Unapologetic
Let's get fed up with domestic methods
Import all the space and time and learn from what we messed up
Turn the course with tourniquets until they get the message
In good sport we'll earn awards to which we're destined
It's your turn of course to source your needs with what your left with
Right beside me lies the key
the holes get filled just turn and see
The sunrise blinds the mind's eye
Unveil disguised bonsai trees
To scale down tea time
soaked in fallen leaves
each October remembers these
moments as if it's shaped in the sculpt of nature happily
A rapidly changing environment
vastly
asked me
to slow the speed of life down
dampen famined spirits
adjust the hue and clearness on your hd screens cuz you tube time is tube tied; infertility
Live humbly in humility
Don't undermine ability
With work ethics stability
Is worth a mil to me
Aug 2019 · 124
Leave us
Apostrophe's Aug 2019
An overabundance of mobile devices
Gets overlooked, wonder how global suffices
The impact it has and most of the crisis
Might just get worse if we don't crumble the righteous
Stumble upon some new found glory
Poor me what the bumble bee's swarming
In the morning it's the same old story
Chores and boring laundry
Calming music for me affords me the sight
Of the light that's moving towards me
Cordially disagree with downplayed
Thoughts of your achievements for your own sake pause and file a grievance all the while reconciling with your choice to leave us
Mar 2019 · 141
Challenging Fear
Apostrophe's Mar 2019
Danger danger
This could be fatal
This could be real life
Or one of Aesop's fables
Prayin for sunshine
These kids just wanna make it rain though
I used to be able to take body shots now
I get a flag thrown for a tackled ankle
I'm exploring my options from every angle
Been broken, mangled
To feeling like my life is a movie, Fandango
Could really cash in on cuz
Today I feel like a new me was born
The calm before the storm
A swarm of birds and bees
Flock to the last sunflowers and worms
Block the past out
obnoxious facts bout
Leaving on your own terms
Believing in achieving
as long as the sun burns
Lather up that lotion
Don't leave no stone unturned
In search of purpose
Hurts the surface
But deep down I find comfort lurkin'
Just a couple more layers to peel back
Don't shed a tear
Get the **** up out my hemisphere
You don't want no problems here
Smiling from ear to ear helps me
Stear clear of fear that's drawing near
Unchartered territories
Run farther from careless worries
Become part of this unburied treasure hunt
It's cloudy with a Chance of flurries
Be careful on the off ramps Bridges and overpasses traffic may be delayed in these areas.
Jan 2019 · 749
Omnipotence
Apostrophe's Jan 2019
I'm bionic
Misfit
Mischief
These are words that pop up on my auto correction keyboard.... then I think
**** ...
this smart phone really does know me
better than me
A leaf blows catches wind
And frolicks down the streeet
Attach a go pro cam and catch some moments hopefully
Mold it cope with
flash photography
Molten lava seeps beneath the seats of the deceased
increased tensions building filling streets with the police
riot gear and gas masks
flying beer and possibly
biased fear in the stratosphere
I nearly stear clear of the mere thought of
Baskin in the omnipotence
Set aside our differences
And balance the arithmetic
With a litmus stick
Sign, seal it lick and stick
A stamp
deliver quick
Mar 2018 · 628
Healing me
Apostrophe's Mar 2018
From the depths of my soul
My most reputable
source of information Told me
to keep it real
but the reel's spinnin' Towards me
and the fact of the matter
is a matter of fact
the laughing stock
is just a toy warehouse in the back
and these feelings are just feelings
and it's clearly appearing
that merely believing
is healing the cracks
Sanity intact
Man it seems that that alone
Would satisfy my manic past
A lapse of judgement
Frequents me
So let's adjust the frequency
Muster up the decency
To face it head on peacefully
Turn another leaf for me
To at least get through this evening
So I can focus on just healing me
Mar 2018 · 551
Never Give Up
Apostrophe's Mar 2018
My depiction of fiction
fits the description
uplifted from my own benedictions
been a ****,
been addicted
bend and lift
benefited
my  back... only  difference
Is I had somebody watching mine
To make up for what I lack and
what I thought I know
By the fact I've brought you thought provok-
ing moments
Hold it
Mold it
Don't let go it's
life in motion
Nice to know that
most components
Grow and hold it's
value
The struggle's golden
Hold up swollen fists
To no avail you
Never give up
Never live up to
other's expectations
Know your limits
Set the boundary
Allowing for a more peaceful, sound sleep
Cuz at the end of the day
We all lay
Our head upon that pillow
And when contentness sets in
Voids...we fill those
weep like willows
Weak but still chose
To instill those
Values in our kinfolk
Feb 2018 · 588
Bonkers of the wall
Apostrophe's Feb 2018
My mind tricked my body into believing reality is an illusion
aloofness
deeply rooted
in seclusion caused delusion.
If the shoe fits
tighten loose fits
with a noose fit
for your waist
hiken up those hand me downs
I might get up the might
to take a liking to
the sights and sounds
divide it up
and write it down
and share another view for you
and maybe switch your attitude
towards working towards your
aptitude
some interesting app and views
on your social network laugh and use
it as a way of getting back at you.
Cuz I was never shown the ropes
We do a little do-si-do
in hopes that we can hold our own
when goin' toe to toe
most I know was grown in home
groan and moan
touchdown endzone
E.T... phone home
Throw sticks and stones
I'm at work ...your home alone
with nothing better to do so ...
get ahold
of that broad you know
with the older bro
the more brew he brings the less I know
'fo show....
The stage is set
so raise your bets
abstain, obsess,
complain, upset
Upbeat,
down sweat ...
But we regress to benefit
Extravagance
encapsuled in
outlandish acts of fallacy
Don't be mad at me
cuz im moving up gradually
and actually
beatin mes a fantasy
That could only occur in your wildest dreams ...so close your eyes
Look inside
Your minds eye..
Let the imagery
shift your tendencies..
Lecture me on pins and needles
The Seamless
seamstress
seems stressed in the fetal position within but able to deal at her wits end wishing
she could talk just feels like no one would listen
Feb 2018 · 343
A younger me
Apostrophe's Feb 2018
I've got a lot of questions
And I've learned a lot of lessons
But the relentlessness to ask 'em
  Always keeps me guessin'
You learn things better the hard way...
Should I starve today
  and spend my money on the lottery?
Or buy a 12 pack and attack another artery
Every day it's gettin' harder for me
But it's feelin' like there's a part of me
That's startin' me to realize
things ain't really like they oughta be.
People's justification and rationalization
Keep me tuned in on a station
findin' life even more evasive.
and I find myself just wasting
all my patience on just waitin'
and thinking in contemplation
When I awaken...
Will I still wander while I wonder
And wonder while I wander
How much longer
it'll be
'til we grow strong enough to see
that what we actually believe
isn't fact
and we've been decieved
everyone will be relieved
That we just need to plant a seed
And a new garden will grow
Like it did so long ago to make today
And in our day and age
It seems that things will never change
But change today or walk the plank
Steady movin' up the ranks
Until I stopped and thought in thanks
to the conclusions I draw and then erase.
Listen to my inner dialogue it says...
Only reason we're breathin'
Is cuz while others were bleedin'
People were seein' the treason
And called together a meetin'
  To declare authority
A reason of ignoring me
A reason of exploring the seas
A reason of cuttin' down trees
where animals used to breathe and live free.
Instead we lock 'em in cages
or shoot 'em with 22 gauges
It's so outrageous
Our worth is based on our wages
We **** to get some bills
with a buncha old guy's faces
And sit back in amazement
With a smile on our face-lift
Wrote most of this when I was much younger...hence the title...enjoy angry teenage me. Somehow I remembered most of it. Lol...
Feb 2018 · 669
Cracked Window
Apostrophe's Feb 2018
I'm in tuned with
the moonlit
dew drip
when June splits
the year in half
I left the window cracked
so the wind would have
a clearer path
Can you feel the draft?
Can you feel the laughter
being built up
glasses being filled up
after
years of practicing
the mastery of his craft
the battery's not everlasting
it's a balance act in fact
to take the good with bad
and have a meaningful impact
Leading sheep to water
Counting horses
sleep at last
Take a sip and pass
And saddle in
Cuz it's a blast
See it's these demons I've been battlin'
And up til now I've handled it
But it seems as though I've had enough
So it's batter up
Lather up
These buttercups
And roast em with some butternut
Squash these so-called wonder struck
Losers.... their all runners up
Apostrophe's Jan 2018
Recently I've noticed
These easternly winds are blowin'
'N there ain't no use in holdin'
On no more... so let it go 'n
find that stoic piece of me
  that finds peace in knowin'
The lowest poet on the totem
  breeds off these heroics
The feast depends upon these moments
However brief at least I know
  the beast in me won't go unnoticed
But until then... I guess it's famine
Rid my life of glitz 'n glam
'N all the hype that never happens
Get it right... the somber dampening
Of moods begins to shift gears...
So lift beers
And give cheers
To the silence of the evening
Blinding sirens creeping
Up the mile-high long ceilings
But liven up
I've said too much
Instead I'll lie here bleeding...
Alive and well,
Well, time will tell
I'll swell abrupt
I'm feeding...
Off all the wrongs
That made me right
This song...pause...(breathing)
Then proceeding, to the next verse
No chorus, just repeating
Of course there's an elephant in the room... and it's stampeding
A forceful tug of it's tusk to adjust
Its just a subtle shoulder shrug
Avoidance of annoyances
A poignant bliss so effortless..ly crafted   off relentlessness
Overtired, restlessness
Just exists
The antithesis... is this the best it gets?
so rest assured
that lessons learned
from this existential messenger
may be best left unheard

— The End —