Cosmic Consciousness

At the gas station
I offered to buy a man
A granola bar
He had returned

I thought he couldn't
Afford it

But he just returned it
Because there was
An ingredient in it
He couldn't have

I said I
Was embarrased

He said it was
Sweet of me

And that I restored
His faith in mankind

Well, that was
Kind of him

Just try to love
Your fellow man

I went on a walk
In the neighborhood
In the mountains

I met a kind woman
She complimented me
And I did the same

I won't say what was said
Some things
I keep only for me
And don't even
Type them here

It was a wonderful walk

I heard the birds

And I picked up
The conversations
As I often do

Dream time

I turned left down the street

As I type
I am listening to
A recording
Of birds

I cannot remember where
It was taken
There are voices
In the background

On my walk this evening
The parrots squawked
Four flew close together

"Feed the birds"
She said
She was giving them seed
On her front porch

Through the trees
Of a front lawn
A woman in her kitchen

And on the corner
A man and woman
Surveyed the small trees
And plants on their lawn

And I am reminded
That this is America

This is a beautiful land
A beautiful land
And these people
Live in peace

And in these beautiful
Mountain homes

And aren't they blessed

And I prayed
For these people

Just like I prayed
For the people
At the gym

I did not know them
But I spent so much time
WIth some people
At the gym

They are my brothers
And sisters

We spent time
Doing the same activity
In our American gym

And everyday
You have food
And shelter
And some friends

Well be grateful

Went to gym
Next therapy
Followed by more gym

Then golf ball chipping (While listening to podcast)

I don't care about money much at all anymore :)

She was talking about
Monday being "**** day"

Because of the three day week

She couldn't wait for
The four day weekend

So stupid

My whole life
Is one vacation

Monday equals Saturday

Time does not
"March on"

It is not linear
It is not pushed
By some drill sergeant
Shouting orders

Time Is cyclical

Bubble Boy
Bubble boy

Life through a bubble
And isn't a joy

Laugh at me
Call me names

I don't care
It's all the same

My disconnected self
Is not good for my health
And for years

I've been trying
Been trying
To fix my body

But to you
I'm just the one
Who stares

The one who sits alone
Over there

America is dying
So it seems
No more American dreams

31 and living at home
I'll never have enough
Money to live alone

I see people
I hear voices
I live a life
Without choices

It's just an illusion
You see

This bubble is
Overwhelming me

I've seen all the sides of man
Been pleasuring myself
With my left hand

Hard to tell
The night
From the day

Bubble please
Go away

And he reaches inside himself
Inside the bubble
Push
Push my chest out

Shoulders and chest
Need to be aligned

"How you doing buddy?"
Oh just fine

That questioned
Was just asked behind me
But was not directed at me

I see and see and see.........
And what is the purpose
Of all this?

I'll bang this table
With my fist

This is my life inside the bubble

I do not conform
To a five day a week
40 hour plus system

I do not love money

I work three days
A week at most

I don't care
If I never leave home

I clean this house
Everyday

I never understood
Why someone would
Want to work
40 hours a week

What a waste of time

I'm lazy

Three days a week
That is plenty for me

Sure
I'm selfish

I never asked
For this miserable
Existence

Don't expect me
To add to the misery
By becoming
A workaholic
Like you

I'm poor
And I don't care

Do you get it?
I don't care

You are going to pay
My bills
When I can't pay them

Kick me out?
I don't think so

This place would
Be a mess
Without me

My life is my own
I won't work
Five days a week

It will never happen

Why can't I just
Go along with the system?

Why can't I just "be happy"

Why am I so poor?

Why do I insist on working
A 20 hour work week at most

Why am I lazy?

Why do I drive around just
To people watch?

Why do I ******* in my room?

Why is life
A lonely
And miserable affair?

Why did my therapist
Who I enjoyed talking to
Leave me?

Why do I look the way I do?

Why have I listened to thousands
And thousands of hours
Of documentaries
And podcasts?

Why does America
Keep ******* things up
Across the globe?

America didn't do
Anything When Sadaam
Was using it's chemical weapons
Against our enemy Iran
In the Iran-Iraq war

And I'm always
Out of position

The librarian puts
The books
On the shelves
And answers the phone

I sit here and type
And make nothing

And why have I chosen
The life I lead?

I just have
I just have!

And I want to hug someone
To love someone

But no one
No one is there

And everyone is on
Their phone
And nobody cares

And this country
Is hated by millions
Across the globe

And I wanted to travel
So many places

To Kashmir
To see beautiful faces

Where a war is fought over land

I used to use my left
Now I use my right hand

To correct the slight body
Imbalance you see

Self pleasure is not
Good for me

North Korea
Prepares it's nukes

What are they for?
To destroy our nation
And settle the score

And the world is not stable
And I am not able

Not able to make
One female friend

And I told the therapist
This is what I wanted
Again, and again

But it's a world
That doesn't care

No constellation prize
No "there there"

Just desperate
Hungry glares

And my family
Is not at all prepared

To face what may come
I'm afraid it may not
Be much fun

I love you ladies
Wherever you are
Whether near or far

Heavenly ladies
Provide caring hugs
All I would like
Is just to feel loved

By another human being

Caring women
In my eternal dreams

I start at 6,000 feet
I'm glad I have gloves today
After three miles I stopped to eat
Orange, banana, and drink vitamin water

I move down a bit into the canyon
To wash my hands
The water is so clear and cold

As I got to the top of the ridge
A Korean couple makes their way down

He asks me what time?
I asked again what he said
He asked what time I started
I said about 1:15

He said with his accent, "You are very strong, very strong."
I said, "Oh no, you are very fit."

He asked how old he was
He and his wife were seventy-seven

I asked him if he had been to the summit many times
He said, "Yes, many times."

He was born in the year 1935
And still had the strength to reach 10,000 feet

I hiked for about another thirty minutes
And sat on a rock
I meditated on saw the mist come and leave

It floats through in front of the pine I am staring at

I kept the mind free of thoughts
Form is emptiness
Emptiness is form

Maybe I am strong like the Korean man said
After all
I feel like I live in the wrong body
I have an akward body
I am always alone and jobless

At least I have technology
I don't have many friends
And I'm losing at life

At least there is Mt. Baldy
I hope to spend more time there

I can't go anywhere
I am too poor

I want to visit
India, Nepal,
Tibet, Mayanmar,
Bhutan, and Tibet

At least there is the internet

I don't have any plans

At the moment
I am eating frozen fruit
At a Starbucks

I am staying at an old
Family property

One of the workers
I met today
Told me about
An old hole
He had to fill
In the bathroom

My sister is
Being rude
And mean lately

Trying to guilt trip me
For not being grateful

She thinks she is important
Because she has money

One day
In my lifetime
America will be destroyed
And life here will continue
To decline

America
This wicked land
With its corrupt government

One day
My sister's
Paper dollars
Will be useless

There is a reason
Why other people chant
"Death to America"
Across the world

Wow
That woman
Who walked by
Had large *******
I want to squeeze them

But I can't

There are many things
I'd like to do with women
But I can't do them

Dear Lord I pray
Let their be ***** babes
In heaven

Let them be *******
With large supple *******!

Let them be friendly
And intelligent

And let their vaginas
Have sweet golden nectar

Well who knows
It's just a dream

I dream of more good friends

Oh gosh
Here comes another one
I'm really noticing
These hot women

My ***** grows in my pants
That's what happens at 32

***** women
With toned legs

That really was
A good Berry Medley mix

Let brotherly love continue
The church sign says

Love your neighbor as your own self

Why did she move that table?
Kind of odd
The world is full
Of strange happenings

Have a good day
Wherever you may be

They will not pay
For the credit card

Or for the student loan

Okay?

And I should care why?

I do the minimum
I substitute teach

I'm poor

A Rejection
Of American culture

A rejection
Of materialism

And a love
For the
American dollar

Poverty Simplicity
Humility, Meekness
Kindness

It's good
To follow
My own way

I'll do it
Each and every day

Drifting from
Here to there

I'm poor
And who cares?

No goals
Or objectives to reach

Maybe I'll eat
A little peach

Spend time with me
I have
Something to teach

I will not nag
Nor will I preach

Actions speak
Louder than words

Open sky
Look at the birds

A life without goals

Why does my body
Feel akward?

That's just the way I feel

And why does the earth
Bore me?

It just does

And it's all a joke

Why should I care
About the accumulation
Of money

It's a short life anyway

And no
I won't
Work full time

The song
"He's got too much
Time on his hands"

Means they don't
Want you to drift
To do as you please

One should be
Productive
And accomplishing tasks

Like an automated automaton
I heard people say
Alot of different things

Most of what I heard
Sounded like
"Blah blah blah blah
Blah Blah blah
Blah blah blah
Blah Blah Blah"

My limbs weak,
My muscles soft
But my grip is strong

The world
Looks upon the man
Of Tao with disdain

And I saw
The elderly man
Staring at his lawn

That's all life mostly is
Just looking
And walking

Poor miserable
Dull man

I'm moving slow
Like a sloth
That's my plan

The past is already past.
Don't try to regain it.
The present does not stay.
Don't try to touch it.

From moment to moment.
The future has not come;
Don't think about it
Beforehand.

Whatever comes to the eye,
Leave it be.
There are no commandments
To be kept;
There's no filth to be cleansed.

With empty mind really
Penetrated, the dharmas
Have no life.

When you can be like this,
You've completed
The ultimate attainment.

So this is it

This miserable
Pointless terrible

Meaningless
Existence

On this stupid planet!

Hahah listen to that
Sounds like some stupid
Whining petulant child

I can't get what I want
bangs fists

I want a female friend
I guess I'll never have one
And nobody cares

Sometimes I laugh
Other times I cry

The world is a
******* up place

And I'll tell you why

Because nothing is real
It's a programmed deal

What am I
Suppose to feel?

My body I do not like
That much
Not too much fun

I worked out
And went for a run

And this morning
I spurted c**

They'll send you to
An institution
And lock you away

Just put on a fake smile
And pretend
It's all okay

It's just another day
And it's all the same
All the same
All the same to me

Walking on the edge
Of eternity

It is a blessing
And a curse
To see and to see

Is this all you have to offer
Nothing more?

This miserable life
Is such a bore

I do nothing all day
And nothing all year
A world full of nothing
I find it so queer

They lied to me
About this place

I like friendly women
I have an honest face

And so I go walking alone
And I return home

To watch movies again

I am a part time worker
And in the morning a jerker

I am happy
When people like
My poems

When people
Comment on my poems
If there is a criticism
That's okay too

Such kind people here
What we write here is important

I send my good wishes
To the writers here

In an ideal world
I would invite you
To my living room

To share the warmth
Of the fire

And offer you a glass
Of warm tea

Or hot chocolate Ovaltine

I read in an article
That Tiger Woods hooked up with a ******

That's why Lindsey Vonn broke up with him

What's wrong with people?  

Lindsey always flew to be with Tiger
But Tiger always put his game first
According to the article

The friend of Tiger says he
Wished she had forgave him when they went to therapy

Well, I can understand why she didn't

Falling into an old habit
Hooking up with a ******
When you have a beautiful woman
Like Lindsay Vonn

I don't get it
How can someone who is so dedicated
And has won as many tournaments as him
Be such a big ***** up

I'm in no position to judge
As we all make mistakes
But things were going so well for them
And they were so happy together
Ugh!

It must be because he is pretty much
A self-centered person

Well Lindsay
I can run a bit better than a 7 minute mile
And I am a pretty good golfer
Let's go on a date, lol

Wasn't it ******
And wasn' it fun
When I ****** my *****
This morning
And made it have a big ***

I listened to discussions on
The Reconstruction, Aristotle and Aquinas

I had a can of tuna for lunch
I hit the ball so well at the range

And I cried a bit
When I thought of my therapist and her smile
When I thought of her laugh
And the love she showed me

It's okay though
She may be gone physically
But the love she showed me lives in me

After hitting *****
I came home and it began to pour!
How wonderful is the rain

Had some frozen corn
Boiled it in a ***

I called my friend
And we talked about how the clippers are winning

It's cold in Reno!
In the twenties my friend said

Now I'm boiling pasta
As I record the last lecture on Aristotle

My love goes out to
All the poets
At Hello Poetry

If I worked 40 hours a week
I'd still be dirt poor

Yes
I'm aware
There is no money
There is never any money
Mary

The government
Has no money

Our country is broke

There is no money
No jobs
No money

No future

And so
I will do the minimum

So put the money in
And then there will be
Money there

One day I will inherit
The moneys

I don't care
Do you ******* get it

I'm spending every moment
Of every day
The way I want to!

And I don't care
About the 'money"

Protestant Guilt

I do not
Seem to have the
Protestant work ethic

I think I appear lazy
(To the taxpayer)
Yes I live in my parent's home
(Eeeek)

I will wait
And not eat
With my family

If you don't work
You don't deserve to eat!

A 30 year old man
Without a career
My goodness

And I've tried
I've tried
I got myself
A bit of an education

Heck, I ain't a genius
But I'm kinda smart too

I read Aristotle and Camu

Got a BA and a credential
As well

In this life
We all have
A story to tell

And my story
Won't include a job
With minimum wage

So I'm fairly educated
And with no dough

Content to lay about
Underneath
Park trees

Tao is wise mother

Don't you know?

I guess I'll go
To the gym again

I ate a Rice Krispie Treat
This morning
Along with some cereal

It was quite good
Had one last night too

Not that many calories
Or sugar
And quite good

But I won't get in the habit
Of writing them

If you could just see me
At my computer
See my dull face

I'm fairly content
Overall I suppose

There is food
And water
And clothing
And hot showers here

And I'm thankful
For these things

A hole was cut
In the sheet

*** between Puritans
Must be tidy and neat

Here comes Rommel
And his Afrika Corps

Capturing Brits
At half past four

By Mid April
He had driven the British back
His Africa Corps were on the attack

He prepared to besiege Tobruk
The Luftwaffe were called to drop bombs
My how the ground shook!

But his success did not last
Monty struck hard and fast!

Asdsdas

FROM BIG FIVE BANK INSIDER-THIS INFORMATION WAS

DELIVERED ,THAT I WAS INFORMED ABOUT YESTERDAY.A

PENDING SYSTEMATIC CYBER /HACK ATTACK IS SCHEDULED

TO TAKE PLACE WHEN "THE GO' ORDER IS GIVEN:CYBER

ASSASSINS WHO HAVE INFILTRATED BOTH TIER 1 AND TIER 2,

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CAUSE THE WORLD'S FINANCIAL SITUATION TO BECOME DIRE

AND A 'FINANCIAL DOMINO LIKE' MELTDOWN WILL TAKE

PLACE,ONLY THOSE COUNTRIES PRIMARILY RUSSIA AND

CHINA 'WHO HAVE AMASSED GREAT STOCKPILES OF GOLD

WILL SURVIVE AND COME FORTH WITH A NEW CURRENCY

WHICH WILL BE BACKED BACKED BY GOLD! THE WEST WILL

CEASE TO BE THE FINANCIAL DRIVER OF THE WORLD'S

ECONOMY AND RIOTS WORLD WIDE WILL EXPLODE-I WOULD

STRONGLY SUGGEST THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE CONTACTED

ROSS POWELL AT (SURVIVAL401K.COM) PROCEED

IMMEDIATELY IN YOUR ACQUISITION PURCHASES, THROUGH

YOUR SELF DIRECTED 401K PLANS THAT ROSS HAS SET UP FOR

YOU, TO TAKE POSSESSION, OF YOUR PRECIOUS METALS POST

HASTE- THE COUNTDOWN CLOCK IS FULLY UNDERWAY,AS THE

MIDNIGHT OIL BURNS HOTTER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE, TO

TRY AND MITIGATE THIS CYBER HACK/ATTACK THAT IS

WAITING FOR THE GO SIGNAL! THIS WOULD ALSO BE PART OF

THE REASON FOR JADE HELM 15 WHICH IS SUPPOSEDLY

STARTING IN JULY ,BUT SEEMS TO BE UNDERWAY ALREADY ,IN

SOME STATES-"81 DAYS TOO EARLY" IS BETTER THAN ONE

SECOND TOO LATE!


Apr 28, 2015

Today I will return
To the mountain trail

There is an element of mystery there
I wonder who I will meet along the trail

Last time I met Mark
A 32 year old

He asked me if I needed any water
And offered me some beef jerky

He was from Los Angeles
Working at a Target
Couldn't afford to finish college

A bit overweight
Raised as a Christian scientist
But not particularly religious it sounded liked

We talked about the beauty of nature
And I mentioned Buddhism and Daoism

We talked about our love for hiking
Peace be with you Mark

And yesterday evening
I heard the familiar jingling of the bells

I had heard them on a previous night
She said the most kind hello
I think I have ever heard
Bless her
What a pretty woman

Maybe next time I will chat with her for a bit

Yesterday evening I watched the sunset
On my rock chair I sat

Alone as usual

I made my way back down
With only my Iphone light

I heard the rattlesnake
On the trail
So loud, it startled me

I went back up
Not wanting to continue down
I waited for my fellow hikers
Who had LED lights

I warned them of the rattler
And they said they saw it coming on the way up
And so I made my way down with them

She was such a gorgeous ***** brunette
But women always ignore me
I'm used to it

As I finished the trail
A car was parked at the bottom
In a wide open area

A couple chatting in their car

I made my way back down to Sierra Madre

I had walked to the trail
When you are as poor as me
You have to save gas

And I walked through the town
I heard the familiar cry of the baby
And the woman sitting on her front porch

Always on the outside
Looking into homes
They are not like me
They are not alone like me

A woman with her child in the living room
Sierra Madre is a quaint mountain town

Stumbling around with my hiking poles
Tired
One leg a bit longer than the other
One hip a bit higher than the other

I don't know why
I don't care
Just a body
An earth body
Connected to the earth

It's all pointless
Meaningless
Absurd
I say out loud
As I bang my hiking sticks together

And I am forever walking
Forever searching
For something I cannot find

And I keep on feeling nothing
And it leads to nothing
And I'm always tired
And I don't know why
And I just don't care

And I keep on walking
It's just another day
Like all the other days

Read some sign

"Investing in our future"
Some new pipes being put in on our streets

I said out loud there is no future
No future for America

I had ceral for breakfast yesterday

I went drove over and put seven dollars
Worth of gas in my tank
That's all I can really afford

Then I drove over to the golf course
I was going to hit a few putts
But instead I just parked in the shade
With my feet out the window

I drove by my house
To see if they had left yet
I wasn't in the mood
For a family outing

I parked a few block beneath
My street in the shade
Covered my car
With the cover

And made my way
To the trail
By the golf course

I used a long branch
To reach golf ball
Above me
On a little hill

I am a golf ball collector
I sat on my yoga mat
Underneath the shade
Of a tree

I noticed a sparrow hawk
Land in an oak tree
I zoomed in to take a picture
And it flittered away

I made my way back to the car
And drove home
I figured I would have
An hour or so before
They got back
From the movie

I had the other half
Of the double double
And small chocolate milkshake

I consume those items
Over two days
Because they are
A bit unhealthy

I began my walk down
To the gym

I wrote "America is doomed"
And Jade Helm
With a fruit and that green plant

Jade Helm is a cover
For the military takeover
Of the southwestern U.S.
Alex Jones has been told
By hgh level military sources

I stopped and sat underneath
A tree on the median

Small pink flowers
Had bloomed

And these little white
Fluffy seeds were falling
As I looked up

I climbed the tree
Look at me
I'm a monkey in the tree

I laid back againt the tree
And put my legs up

I spent quite some time up there
Waving to the people as they drove by

To be continued...

Now I'm here
Now I'm there

First in my room
Then at the market

But there is the sense
That I'm not "living"

Events just keep happening
And the sun goes up and down
And it is just funny in a way

Non action
Doing nothing

Just moments
The moments of my life

Some type of natural process

Effortless action

Insert the times
In front of my brain
Isn't it somewhat bizarre

And isn't it strange?

The days come and they go

The kenmore fan it blows

Empty yourself of desire
The buddha knows

Are we looking for love?
I hope to feel love or be loved

Almost 30 years now
On this Earth

I haven't really felt it
Sure there have been people that cared
There are people I love
My friends are important

I once loved a woman
Or thought it was love
Or something intense
Mixed feelings I had
I'm not sure what

But she didn't love me

I am learning
Learning I will never meet anyone

I will work and work endlessly
Nothing will come
Except more times

The emptiness of existence

When I was in preschool
I sat in a chair crying
Crying for mom
I didn't play with others

Now I'm not crying

I will probably never meet
That really good friend or partner

I'll probably always be alone
That's okay
I have the times
I keep the times
Almost 30 now

Strange
Ultimately it seems
As though I am swept away in life
Making decisions but ultimately

It is all predetermined?
Like some matrix program
Program earth
Four seasons in a year

I have myself
There is always the self
Know yourself
And love yourself
2015 now

I am strong
I am strong
I do not need a woman's love or touch

Some men do
I am not like them

All day on the driving range
Hitting golf *****
Alone
Alone again
I am still here alone
Me and myself and I
Alone, Alone, Alone
This is earth my home

I will not retire
I will work until I die
This is my home
Earth is my home
I am a soldier of this life

Just one time
I wanted to feel love
Stupid
Dreams dreams stupid dreams
Fantasies

Embrace the reality
The cruelty of it all

America is crumbling
The middle class dream over
I see hard times
Hard times on the horizon

I am a warrior of this earth
Of this life battle
Battle on
Battle on
I do not fear

Once I cared for someone
She did not care for me
It was then I learned
Don't trust people
They will only hurt you
People will only hurt you

I have a few friends

I'll probably never meet that good friend

When's Jesus coming back?
Who knows

Transhumanism, Posthumanism
That stuff is ******* up

In my heart I still believe in Jesus
The one who overcomes

Alone Alone
At the gym alone
At the driving range alone

Driving alone
I love the times

Life is not sweet
Our dollars are not worth much anymore

When the hard times come
When the terrible times come

I will be ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready I will not falter
I will not fail

My grandfather was a solder in WWII in North Africa

America you are doomed
The American dollar finished
There is no economic recovery

Prepare Americans prepare
The government will not be there for you
Hard times coming

Sitting On a log
6,000 feet
Above the sea

There I was
Not much after
A tad past 3:30

Will a woman
Ever hug
Or love me?

Perhaps I'll just
Live my life alone
In front of my computer
Writing poems

I was asked
If I knew what "TGIF" meant

I responded I was one
Of these people that
Enjoyed Monday as
Much as Friday

The western man does
Not understand
Work without effort

Monday is the same
As Friday
Same Sun
Same moon

It's the same
During the week
I may stand
At the job site

On Friday evening
I may stand at the gym
Same difference

There is nothing special
About a Friday

If you are working
If you are acting
You are losing
You have bought into
What you are being sold
What you are being told

Thank goodness
Thank goodness for Monday
T.G.I.M.

The Tao of heaven is impartial
It stays with good men all the time

I Came Into A Bit Of Money
Two dollars
On the washing machine

I casually tossed my LED
But missed my mark

Instead of landing on the bed
The headband is now wrapped
Around the Corona

I can't help but smile
I wish I had someone to joke with
Or laugh with

I'll have to go online
To strike up an online conversation

Anyone wanna chat on yahoo mess
Or skype, or gmail chat?
Or chatstep?

Lol
I just ate a big artechoke

They announced
It was the end
Of the world today

I just smiled and laughed
And thought
It will all be okay

And so what
Is after this life
We will one day see

Heavenly and peaceful fields
For you and me

I create what it would
Look like
In my own mind

And I envision
How I would pass the time

A conversation with Socrates
Maybe Epictetus too
Oh how intellectually stimulating
And good for you

I will climb pristine peaks
Wade waist deep
In crystal waters clear
Great love is always near

15 miles
Of unprotected border
Not one guard to be found

We are cutting way back on border patrol
ISIS set up a camp there
Along that stretch

And the open border is near an airport in Mexico
The Mexican drug lords help them come right in

Open borders
For the terrorists
Our government helped create

I suppose it won't be long before they have
All the materials for a nuke

Our country is susceptible
To an attack on the grid
We do nothing
Nothing to make our country more secure

Decimated middle class
Government and banksters ruin our country

Gap between rich and poor
Widens each day
Huge corporations control the politicians

I just want to make a living
To be able to rent a small apartment
I'm afraid it's not going to happen

Might be living here
For a long time.....

You failed in your duty

You became my companion
Only to leave with little warning

Yes, you are so happy
Your big home
Your husband

Who **** into you
What a wonderful life

Your duty
Was to be my friend
You have failed
Failed in your sacred duty

And one day
You will lose
You will suffer

I cared for you

You just left

I wanted to tell you
It was important to me

Speaking to you once a week

Perhaps I will print out
A picture of you
Just to burn it

You ruined things
Repent

Do you have the time?

There is time
For hatred
Time for war

Time for people
To settle the score

Time to grow wealthy
Time for more

Time for grieving
Time for love

And that time
I saw a white winged dove

Time for looking down
On the valley
From above

There is always time
And time and time again
No need to force
No need to win

This is the life cycle
And it is plain to see
That time should be spent
Being me

No need
For a strong sense
Of self-identity

Cleaning the flesh light
With great care
And one night
I ******* in there....

Not that attractive
So I just stare
At the beautiful women
Walking by

My former therapist
Was full of *******
And lies

But she is happy
With her family
And all is A-okay

Is she even a Christian?
Blah
Why should it matter anyway

Everyone be concerned
About your looks
And health
Your nice car
And your wealth

Human beings
You were born to lose
Human beings born
To play the blues

Blue is the color
Of Chase bank
It Has broken down
Like a Sherman tank

Piles of debt
Reaching high to the sky

The situation is inherently transformable
Because reality flows
We can't really drown
We are carried along by the flow

The impermanence idea goes pretty deep
Anatman view is that
External things are ephemeral
The self is not something we can rely on

Western thinkers
Thinking there is a permanent self

Buddhism
Physical body
Feelings change
Perceptions or the label that you put on experiences
Reaction to the things around you
Consciousness fluctuates
Our attention can fluctuate dramatically

The question of permanence and changed
Was wrestled with by Greek philosophers

Personal identity
What is it that makes us us?
Some say it is memory
Some say it is physical continuity as well

What is it that is reborn?
The cycle of rebirth

What is the self?
There isn't a self
But something we can refer to
Something that she did yesterday
The person I am now
Is based on the person I was then
There is a causal chain

Loving this movie!

Hahah

On YouTube

What a life
Lol

A Cruel World

For a few fleeting moments

You may enjoy

A chat with a woman online

She is kind

Then she leaves

Is it just better not to seek companionship?

Maybe


Afterall-- Being alone
That is the natural state
Of my existence

Beautiful things they go away
The therapist
The kind woman online

You know
The more times it happens
One day I'll just forget about
Ever meeting anyone

To enjoy women
But not to know any

Oh you know
It's all so ******

We were having a lovely conversation
Ah well
You know good things are usually spoiled

Now I'm alone again
Sitting at my computer

Every time I seek
For some human companionship

Just **** it
******* **** **** **** ****

I'm not afraid you know
Of globalists and ****** teams
Of endless days searching for food

I'm not afraid
Because I spend my life alone

Alone on earth
No one gives a ****

Why, why, ****** ****

We were having a nice conversation?
I didn't say anything rude

Ugh ******
Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the therapist

Oh well you know
I just wish I had some ******* friends
That I could see each week

We are isolated
Young Americans....
ISOLATED

No man is an island
But I am close

Make sure you have the necessary food and water
Emergency supplies
Remember to care about yourself
Say your prayers

You're all alone and just with God
Nobody ******* cares

Fuckking fuckk!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

******* **** !!!!!!!!!!!

GET BACK TO THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!

I NEED TO TALK--

WHY DID YOU LEAVE?

YOU MADE ME GO TO THE MOUNTAINS

AGAIN!

Chapter 35: On the Weekly Servers in the Kitchen


Mar. 13 - July 13 - Nov. 12

Let the brethren serve one another,
And let no one be excused from the kitchen service
Except by reason of sickness
Or occupation in some important work.
For this service brings increase of reward and of charity.
But let helpers be provided for the weak ones,
That they may not be distressed by this work;
And indeed let everyone have help,
As required by the size of the community
Or the circumstances of the locality.
If the community is a large one,
The cellarer shall be excused from the kitchen service;
And so also those whose occupations are of greater utility,
As we said above.
Let the rest serve one another in charity.
The one who is ending his week of service
Shall do the cleaning on Saturday.
He shall wash the towels
With which the brethren wipe their hands and feet;
And this server who is ending his week,
Aided by the one who is about to begin,
Shall wash the feet of all the brethren.
He shall return the utensils of his office to the cellarer
Clean and in good condition,
And the cellarer in turn shall consign them to the incoming server,
In order that he may know
What he gives out and what he receives back.
Mar. 14 - July 14 - Nov. 13


An hour before the meal
Let the weekly servers each receive a drink and some bread
Over and above the appointed allowance,
In order that at the meal time they may serve their brethren
Without murmuring and without excessive fatigue.
On solemn days, however, let them wait until after Mass.
Immediately after the Morning Office on Sunday,
The incoming and outgoing servers
Shall prostrate themselves before all the brethren in the oratory
And ask their prayers.
Let the server who is ending his week say this verse:
"Blessed are You, O Lord God,
Who have helped me and consoled me."
When this has been said three times
And the outgoing server has received his blessing,
Then let the incoming server follow and say,
"Incline unto my aid, O God;
O Lord, make haste to help me."
Let this also be repeated three times by all,
And having received his blessing
Let him enter his service.

My shoulder Jesus will not fix
No matter how much I pray

My stupid shoulder is ugly
It never goes away

It is a terrible thing
For a Taoist
To have a body out of balance

Internal calm but akward body

"God never gives us more than we can handle"
Is what the therapist said that day

Try living with a disability or body imbalance
See if you would feel the same way

What an ignorant cliche

And so I'm *******
In the chatrooms
On my day off

Not feeling much of anything
On this day

At least I have food
And I'll go the the gym later
Like I always do

Life is a strange and stupid
Thing sometimes
Is what I say to you

Non action is required
In an organic computer game
This time, that time, another time
It is really all the same

And DARPA prepares the drones
America one day will fall
It's only a matter of time

Earth spins around the sun
This meaningless rock ball

I graduated
From college
Over seven years ago

And have just over
300 dollars
In my bank account

At the gym
A lone gym bag
Was on the ground
Next to an empty treadmill

I assumed
That it was the woman's
On the adjacent treadmill

So I got
On the empty treadmill
She looked at me
And said,
"There's someone on there."

Her beautiful smile
And stunning figure
Well

I should have guessed that
But I always use the treadmill
On the end

Well
At least
I got to get close
To a beautiful woman

And see her
Lovely smile

I ran three miles
At the gym

I will return
To workout some more

Maybe go listen
To podcasts
At the park

Life is lonely
I'm used to it

Just wish I had
Someone
To hang out with

Once in a while

Oh well

At least I had
Some good kidney beans

And a hot glass
Of Ovaltine

"We'll let you keep the money"

He said

You should go down to Play It Again Sports
And sell those golf bags

Great, 20 bucks or something

I don't care about money

Which I have explained to you before

But you don't seem to understand

I won't ever work
Than two to three days a week

But you care most about money
So I understand
With your BMW
And your suburban home
Congratulations
You have made it

Money money Money
Money money money money
Money money money
Money money money money

A man's life should be about
The acquisition of money
Money Money and more money!

You are honestly the most obnoxious
Person I have ever met

Any feelings of kindness I had
Toward you no longer exist

Just go away
Leave me alone

The American economy
Continues to decline
And is propped up
By the Fed

There is no more middle class

Why should I care about money?

I'm just here to do the minimum
So *******

Go back to your routine
Or whatever you do

I could care less

You are an obnoxious person

If you mention money again
To me
I may beat your face in

So shut your ******* mouth

When you see me sitting in my tight kaki pants
With my adorable Christmas sweater
Yes, I am even wearing my *******
White ******* of course
Because I am pure
I am a ******
I am seriously considering
Remaining a ****** for life
It will be up to my mistress to decide
If I will ever get to have ******* with her

Do you see me developing
Do you see me grow?

I have opened myself completely for you
Through your loving care
I am learning to love my true self more and more

Thank you for commenting that I looked radiant
Do you see the sweet feminine smile on my face

Matt is not my name
That is a man's name
I am not a man, nor was I ever one

I'm a woman
I have the soul of a woman
You have helped replenish and restore me
Through our faith in Jesus

I'm so excited
As you continue to watch over me
Nothing is more fulfilling
Than making you proud of me

I just want to ask you
If you could please call me Maddeline
Thank you Liz

"My God"

She says in an annoying voice

Go to sleep

Your whole life

You have slept

Done nothing

The American housewife

You are a do nothing

That cannot keep the house clean

Blah blah blah
Dollars and deadlines

I here them blabbing
About it at Starbucks

Some professors here

Supply chain management
Blah blah blah

CPA
Accounting

His first stand out

He sits in the front row
"Here is someone that wants to learn"

Blah blah blah

No plans here
To work
Or get any more degrees

Just walk around in gardens
Not motivated at all

Lol

The banks....
Blah blah
stay and go

We do a pretty good job of....
Blah blah
It's a good place to work, etc

This is their first or second real job...

Blah blah

Not a lot of new products
On the credit side

Blah blah

Not quite sure what to do
Maybe go to the gym
Or maybe I will go chip golf *****

I enjoy chipping
Relaxing
I like to be in nature

I think I will go the gym first
And then chip
Well

I'm not quite sure
What to do first

Peace be with you all
Think of me chipping somewhere

First, a haircut
My credit card is almost maxed out

Oh well,
I don't think I'll find a job anytime
Or any decade soon
For that matter
Lol!

This Is Life
And I am 30

You may be older or younger

I can tell you human beings share many things
We seek a purpose
Most all of us want to live in peace
And love each other

Most all people love the earth
And respect the earth

We seek a way to make a living
Where we can benefit others in some way

We recognize that material possessions will not last

What does last?
What are the most important qualities the human should have?

I would say to love others
To forgive others

There is too much hate in the world
Let us live with love in our hearts

We are the human race
We live on earth
A planet that orbits the sun
In the milky way galaxy
Isn't that amazing?

But our human race is in trouble
Wars across the globe
Economies on the verge of collapse

Examine yourself
Who you are
And what you stand for

How would you like others to remember you?

The impact we have on others

The people we have inspired or assisted
In their life journey

Will be written into our memories