I miss the time when 'I love you' was the greatest poem I could ever write,
When I couldn't listen to a love song without thinking of you,
When thoughts of kissing you invaded my mind and I blushed to myself.
I miss the time when your arms were the only home I knew,
When you would engulf me in an embrace and your heart played music for me,
When you would pull my smile from its hiding place,
How you taught my heart to do the tango when you bit my lower lip,
You lit a fire in my soul,
And you still haven't put it out.

I have these episodes,
where my heart gives up every emotion,
where it succumbs to science and just pumps blood,
quietly, just to keep me alive.
No feeling,
I can't tell if am happy,
or conjure up a reason to be,
no feeling is certain excerpt pain,
it refuses to be a feeling and racks itself under nature,
fueled by my own breath.
  I have these episodes,
where I want to hide in the darkest place,
to lay with the rocks,
because not feeling to them is second to being.
I have these episodes,
where I want to dreanch myself in gasoline,
grab a match and set myself ablaze,
shut down the uncertainty and not knowing,
because it won't hurt that much if I know where its coming from.

I have these episodes,
where I realize,
numbness is another type of pain.

Smile before they see your grimace,
blink back the tears before they fall
look away before the look of hurt is noticed
dress that cry for help into a soft melody
pull away before they notice they are pushing you away

Sometimes,
the wind gets too much,
so we lock our freedom in a bottle,
hoping one day it will grow and break free,
hoping we'll be ready for it.

Sometimes,
freedom binds us,..
chained to the need of maintaining it ..,
we clip our own wings.