20 days
Of wishing you missed me;
Of wishing I didn’t miss you.

20 days
That’s how long it took for me to cave;
For me to ask to come see you.

20 days
Since I’ve felt any emotions;
Since I felt like I had reason to breathe.

20 days
The longest days I’ve ever lived
And you haven’t even kept count.

20 days
Because we were both too busy;
Because I don’t want you to know I love you.

20 days
Since I thought we might become something
And realized that’s not what you wanted.

1 hour
Since you held me like you loved me;
Since you told me I couldn’t stay.

1 minute**
That’s all it took to break my heart.
Better you than anyone else I suppose.

What if I told you
I don't want to be loved?
I chase away love
Because I am afraid to be left

Abandoned

Scared to breathe

Because what if it comes to
Where I can't breathe without

You

Us

Together

All the time
Every time I think about it
Over think it
I become even more afraid

For the first time in a long time
I am at a loss for words;
The one thing I have always been able to alter
And mold into what I was trying to get out.
I can’t even write this poem right now.
Usually five minutes and I have it all summed up
One neat little package of nouns and verbs
******* with a common theme
Tonight, my theme is loss
My theme is *you

Tell them what I did wrong;
All the hell I put you through.
How you left and had your reasons
But don’t forget to tell them about you.

Say I never really cared about us.
How there’s nothing that you could do
And how I never really made you happy;
But don’t forget to tell them about you.

About how I never took care of myself
And how I never could have improved;
That you had to make all the decisions.
But don’t forget to tell them about you.

When you tell them how hard you tried,
There’ll be no reason to believe it’s not true
Because oh-so-perfect you and all-to-nice me
Forgot to tell them all about you.