Lumin Guerrero

Lumin Guerrero Apr 26

Untitled

They say crowdedness is suffocating
I think loneliness is drowning.

Deprived of all but your own thoughts
As you sink deeper and deeper
Into the depths of your mind

Lumin Guerrero Apr 23

Take me, Grim Reaper

The Grim Reaper stands at the foot of my bed
antagonizingly.

It just stares.
Straight.
At.
Me.

I was once scared of it’s dark essence and great scythe,
So I never dared look back.
I thought,
Maybe if I didn’t see it,
It would just go away.

It didn’t go away.

The Grim Reaper looms at the foot of my bed
agonizingly.

Staring.
Straight.
At.
Me.

I’m being tortured,
I can’t sleep or live in peace
I don’t know
Why its here,
What it wants from me,
When it would take me away,
Why it can’t just take me already
God, just get this over with and take me already!

…

Despite my cries and pleads,
He stood there.
Unfazed.

I swear, one day I will get up,
Grab His scythe,
And do His job myself.

Bit of a metaphor with suicide and religion
Acknowledge the pronoun change from “it” to “He”

#suicide #religion

Lumin Guerrero Apr 22

PDD

Sometimes I crave for addiction
Just to have something dependable,
Consistent.

I already have it though, don’t I?
As they said, if I wanted to stop being “sad”
Then I would just stop.

How can I, though?
This is safe, this is still.
This is pain.
This is me.
All I am.
All I’ll ever be.

The depression is “persistent” after all.
More persistent than I’m willing to be.

Lumin Guerrero Apr 22

Hide and Seek

I like to hide out in my mind
when the world is too much to handle.

It's safe in here.
Dark and serene.
No one to hurt me,
Nothing to fear.

Sometimes, though,
I’m hidden for too long.
I get too comfortable in here.
Too comfortable.

Ready or not, here I come!

If no one comes out to find me,
Seek for me,
Then I won’t be hiding.

I’ll be lost.

Don’t know how I feel about this one

Lumin Guerrero Apr 22

I’m sorry for hurting

Blame me for my pain
Chastise me for my tears
Reprimand me for feeling
and for saying what you don’t want to hear.

I’m sorry that I hurt so much
Hurt so much that it leaks through my tear-ducts,
Bleeds through my scars,
and reaches you—
You.

You make it all about you.
Because how could I be so selfish.
How could I dare hurt you
By hurting myself.

Don’t you think I could’ve used a shoulder to cry on?
Hands to soothe?
Arms to sink into?
Because I think do.

All I sunk into was myself,
I repressed all you saw was wrong with me
Deep deep within me.
Deep deep until I was no longer me
Or I.
Deep deep until I no longer was.

Lost lost
Lost in myself,
Losing myself.
I’m losing
myself.
And you’re losing me too.
God, how could I do this to you.

I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry for hurting.

Thinking about how my parents yell at me or tell me off when I cry.
How I was yelled at when my parents found out abt my sh and su-c-dal ideation/attempts.
I just wanted a hug, to be honest.

Lumin Guerrero Apr 16

Tangibility

My poetry is the result of an influx of thoughts.

My head can't hold them all,
So they spill out onto paper and soak and stain,
Leaving these tangled strings of words.

I try to arrange them to something comprehensive
But it's mostly an indecipherable nonsense.
I suppose thats what makes it poetry.

At least, it makes the mess in my brain
Just a bit more tangible.

#poetry

Lumin Guerrero Apr 13

Not just "sad"

As if it was just feeling "sad".
No.

Its a beast of shadows and darkness that consumes you from the inside.
Its being hollow, devoid of self and everything human.
It's a violent ocean who's waves crashes against your ribs.
It's a pain that infects your core and spreads to the very tips of your fingers.
It's the heaviest nothingness.

It hurt hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts
so ******* much.

I just want it to stop.

#depression