What if
I am forgotten
Accompanied with grief
Alone to live
Forsaken and berieved
What if

The song of a nightingale
Echo'd by the wind
And silence wraps around
My thoughts ever to keep
What if

Hold but only to believe
You might remember me

A little angel in Heaven above
Asked the Lord God Almighty
Pray tell:What is love??

God sat the little angel down
And draw him near
"Love is the offering
Of one's own life"

Thought the little angel in silence
And turned to the Lord
"What i am i will give
But say,
Is there more?

"Its is the total surrender
Its giving all your heart
Its the biggest of gifts
If you dare it to part
And its obedience to Love
Never questioning why
Its the promise of Life eternal
When your will will but die"

Stood up the little angel
And walked from the Lord
Will i ever be able
To fulfill this at all?

Said God to him
"Youve already done much
You love in return
You cannot do more"

So the little angel
Touched to the core
Went on his own way
Like so many days before

"Fòr Love is obedient
It is thankfull
Its All
If fulfilled in a life
Its the whole of
Gods Law"
///💜///

Forbidden love that was pure
Somedays she was warm and loving
Other days cold and distant
Failed hard tried to make it work
Lack of communication divided
Lust mistaken for love broken trust
Felt right at the beginning pain free
By the end it was wrong full of pain
Forever damaged never the same
Lovers in the past to future strangers
An idea that was reality ended in diaster

The karma tab was running high
Sooner or later would due soon enough
All the lies will be destroyed by the truth
The hard working will surpass the lazy
Flapping mouths shut for causing drama
Those roadblocks will be removed
Gained from the detour strong from the journey
The wrong made right the light drowns darkness

Telling those stories wild emotions
Sharing encounters deep feelings
More selective socially true friends stay
Every moment and experience a lesson
Arguing with family mentally exhausted
Minds are made up set in ways
Disconnected from the crazy
Willing to compromise open to change
Actions and words do not match
Tried to be the bigger person
Cut the cord turned away
Over all the pain from the betrayal
Healing from the hurt buried alive
Growing from the ***** meant to survive
Walking as a whole feeling alive

Trying to be awesome around toxic
Hard working dealing with a lazy lead
Did nothing but took the credit
Always in the grind serving God's people
Head strong pride in efforts made
While the lead hides in the basement
Trying to make it easier and better for all
focused one the work not holding back
Doing all the things that matter
Back to learning bass guitar
Lots of practice good as time invested
Return those jujitsu mats older and wiser
Rocking a new gi old ones no longer fit
Writing helps make sense of life
Clear the mind let all this pent up energy flow

Trying  to please your elders
They've done it with experience
Many times before it's second nature
You like to learn from them
Too bad you have other ideas
The plans are similar different times
Experienced passing wisdom
The inexperienced gaining perspective
Find a place to call home feel safe
Passed up so much inconvenienced
Asking what if wanting that moment
Scared of missing on that opportunity
Hoping for a chance not always sure
On the edge Trying to easy in
Cope to feel whole with emotions
feelings to fill the hole within

Music brings back memories
Reminded of that person
An intimate moment together
On the road a long adventure home
Songs shared among friends
Flashback to better times
Upbeat bass matches the heart
A numb soul begins to heal
Hurt filled with hopeful melodies
Feeling emotions connected to lyrics

And how do I become known by God?
how do I find solace in Him traversing
the plains of my heart?
how does that become a lullaby ?
I am still
figuring it out in the golden highways
of my spirit, whispering into the
abandoned rooms while I
sink—

Groanings too deep for words
Too deep for
Anything.

His tongue is searching my mouth
for who I used to be and I’m staring at the
Amber lampshade above my bed—

His sideburns are thinning, just in the last year,
I have committed this particular view to memory
many times, his arms; Liana vines enveloping my waist, ankles tucked around my calves,
I am a tiny animal
between his limbs.

I am memorizing the way his hairline fades into his neck, the shape of his forehead, the bistre shadow of his browbone in the foreground—

I do this to remember, I do this to hide you away
In an atrium, in the pulmonary trunk
I keep everyone there, so when they’re gone
when they are inevitably gone—
I can visit,
A softened recollection where I’ve allayed the pain of letting go—

I knew this would happen,
but Ive touched;
I’m touching you anyway,

What is it worth—
if I can’t remember?

You’re kissing me,
Im easing you into
my heart—

You always wanted that.