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Jan 2017 · 557
1/4/17
Michael Humbert Jan 2017
My grief was only ever her fault insofar as it was "her fault" for falling asleep in my arms.
Dec 2016 · 611
Unresolved
Michael Humbert Dec 2016
it's the car crash that nobody was around to see, nobody to call for help
it's the drop from the precipice that never ended
that sensation in your gut of sickening weightlessness
forever in perpetuity
it's this daily unanswered call
an echo unreturned
it's this constant hesitation
this wavering sensation of incompletion
a melody with no conclusion, unresolv-
Dec 2016 · 688
12/14/16
Michael Humbert Dec 2016
Arms clasped around the small of your back as you stared up at me in the elevator
My heart was ready to burst*

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me," I said. "And then the worst."
Nov 2016 · 565
11/22/16
Michael Humbert Nov 2016
Two strangers grazing hands on a crowded train, neither saying a word nor pulling away, simply acknowledging each other's warmth
Jul 2016 · 556
Fixation
Michael Humbert Jul 2016
An irrational fixation, an aberration of sense and reason, a heart committed to treason, betraying the self and the pursuit of peace
Jul 2016 · 249
All I Have Left
Michael Humbert Jul 2016
Hello, I miss you
Sometimes I tell strangers about you,
Sometimes you're still all I think about
And sometimes I wonder if all I have left is a really good story

The things you left in the past could have changed your life
The things that wouldn't last, still alive, just barely
A tempestuous undeath unto your frail memory
Just trying to make it through another day
Jun 2016 · 525
Tactile
Michael Humbert Jun 2016
Imagine loving someone with the diligence and care of a blind person reading Braille, fingers scanning bumps, tactile derivation of understanding
Jun 2016 · 262
Pictures
Michael Humbert Jun 2016
They're hidden away,
Forbidden sunsets, handholds
These pictures still hurt
Looked at a few photos I haven't seen in a year or two
Mar 2016 · 320
3/6/16
Michael Humbert Mar 2016
I would rather be alone than make you unhappy again
Feb 2016 · 325
Entitled/Untitled
Michael Humbert Feb 2016
Entitled to be untitled, blank forgotten gravestone, smooth marble untainted with dates and memories

Escape unscathed, no scratches, no scars,
No doubts or hopes or doors left ajar

Clean, empty, pure desistance, an insistence to embrace the nothing inside us all
Feb 2016 · 278
Incongruent
Michael Humbert Feb 2016
I apologize as I dry her eyes
And I know that I'll never be enough for her
Two pieces from different puzzles
And I'm still puzzled how I ever found her
Incongruent, I ******* blew it
And I'm still trying to make sense of it all
I laugh, there's no number to call
And she's gone as I continue to fall
Feb 2016 · 301
2/23/16
Michael Humbert Feb 2016
It still kills me to see your name in print
Feb 2016 · 314
Unmarked
Michael Humbert Feb 2016
I stared at the sunset, fading, shedding its radiant tears smeared across the sky, purple, blue pastels
And counted the seconds I had left to hold your hand
I see you in everyone else's grief
And I never really stopped to think what "You're dead to me" really feels like
Not malicious, no, just an unmarked tombstone in my head I visit on occasion to pay respects and remember a beautiful mistake
Jan 2016 · 323
1/31/16
Michael Humbert Jan 2016
All he knew was that kissing her just felt right
Jan 2016 · 433
1/23/16
Michael Humbert Jan 2016
Sunsets seemed to try harder when we were both watching
Dec 2015 · 882
Sulfur
Michael Humbert Dec 2015
Do you talk to your mother
about me when you drink?
Do whispering thoughts undulate
from your subconscious,
yearning to be heard?

Go on and carry me as your burden
I won't say a word and
I'll breathe in this sulfurous shame
And suffer the same
As I have for so long
Nov 2015 · 386
7:07 pm
Michael Humbert Nov 2015
I miss you the way
the crops miss the rain
Nov 2015 · 281
11/21/15
Michael Humbert Nov 2015
I'm tired of music being about you
Every note sings as images run through my head like a projector I can't shut off
I got to thinking, (I've always been thinking),
But I got to thinking and here goes:
The difference between me and a dog is that I know you'll never come back
Nov 2015 · 373
11/18/15
Michael Humbert Nov 2015
I wanna kiss
the part of you
that still cares
the part that doesn't
give a **** about time

the part that remembers
what it felt like
to burn
Nov 2015 · 344
8:03 a.m.
Michael Humbert Nov 2015
The thought of holding your hand nearly drove me to tears this morning
It was not the taste of your lips, nor the way your eyes pierced right through me,
A chain reaction of thoughts led me to the hopeless memory of simply clutching your hand as you drove along

You, you beautiful cancer, still pollute everything

This life has taught me that we are promised nothing,
Least of all that love will listen when you simply ask for it to *stay
Nov 2015 · 258
Structure
Michael Humbert Nov 2015
A skeleton structurally unsound
Every bone vibrating with
The echoes of *goodbye
Nov 2015 · 261
Potent
Michael Humbert Nov 2015
carving an incisive
incision into the core of
my most potent vulnerabilities
Oct 2015 · 286
Halloween
Michael Humbert Oct 2015
for Halloween I'm
dressing up as someone you
could have once loved back
Oct 2015 · 258
Quieter
Michael Humbert Oct 2015
Your parents asleep
"Kiss quieter!" you whispered
But I didn't know how
and refused to on principle alone
Oct 2015 · 707
Maturation
Michael Humbert Oct 2015
Let's make an effort to age this sadness for 16 years
Will it hold weight then?
Will it be a tangible thing that you can hold, and hug and touch?
Will it have a taste of metallic blood or simply smell like the musty wood of forgotten time?
Let's bottle it away
Give it time to mature
And maybe one day we can both sample the fruits of this labor
Oct 2015 · 248
Whiskey
Michael Humbert Oct 2015
I poured a double
Try to forget you a while
I'll be back again
There's a glass of Lagavulin sitting next to me but you aren't and I'm still not used to it.
Oct 2015 · 782
Ghosts
Michael Humbert Oct 2015
A haunted house. Great.
I've plenty ghosts already
Right here in my head
Oct 2015 · 273
10/19/15
Michael Humbert Oct 2015
Will you be home for supper?
Will you come back?
Oct 2015 · 252
Azure
Michael Humbert Oct 2015
Eyes that reduce me to nothing
A gaze that could swallow me whole
A blue intensity, burning
And suddenly my lungs fill with water
As I sink beneath her azure waves
Oct 2015 · 266
Weary
Michael Humbert Oct 2015
I fed on your mouth
As my hand drew south
Dripping secrets upon my tongue
Giving air to choking lungs

This love's a poetic disaster
Drowning faster and faster
Oh please just let it end
I've nothing left to defend

There's only your name I refuse to speak
Images flashing, far too bleak
The damage you continue to wreak upon a soul so weary
You must know, I love you dearly
Sep 2015 · 187
Remember
Michael Humbert Sep 2015
She's the only one it hurts to remember kissing
She's the only one it hurts to remember
(Sometimes I'm still stupid enough to think)
*She's the only one
Sep 2015 · 224
Vital
Michael Humbert Sep 2015
Vital signs inviting death
Take my last breath
I want to be free
Take this life from me
Thoughts of you in my head
Just leave me for dead
Watching this time accrue
I'm sorry, I love you
Sep 2015 · 287
9/6/15
Michael Humbert Sep 2015
Here I am again at the corner of "What the **** am I doing?" and "I miss you."

We didn't turn out to be a fairy tale,
And instead I'm sleeping with a girl I text, "Come over tonight."
I kiss her with open eyes. It's a moist charade.
She keeps my bed warm though.

I wonder if you're happy
I'm still vague on the term
I just try to keep busy

It's getting harder to write you
But these notebooks won't fill themselves
I trust you will wait
Aug 2015 · 310
Blades
Michael Humbert Aug 2015
Whirring blades decapitate hubristic
verdant stalks stretching beyond their station
8/23/14
Aug 2015 · 299
Bite
Michael Humbert Aug 2015
"You can bite," she says
Clutching fistfuls of my hair
I live for her gasps
Aug 2015 · 334
Blood
Michael Humbert Aug 2015
Deep in my chest you carved your name
Fresh blood rushes to fill the ridges, trying
Dragged away by current
Originally written 8/10/14, one of my very first writes
Aug 2015 · 231
Pound
Michael Humbert Aug 2015
Make my heart pound against my ribcage
until it splinters every rib and
bursts into your hands
Originally written 8/9/14, one of my first writes
Aug 2015 · 197
Blind
Michael Humbert Aug 2015
You changed my heart, mind
Ask yourself why I love you
Seeing all, once blind
Aug 2015 · 259
8/7/15
Michael Humbert Aug 2015
Simply holding your hand
was always enough
*It still is
Jul 2015 · 672
Reflex
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
I bite my hand every time I think of:
Water streaming down your body
Rivulets running from your neck
Tracing your delicate collarbones
Rolling off your soft *******


I bite my hand every time I think of:
Our limbs entwined
Connecting, exploring
Your eyes staring into mine
Analyzing, imploring


I bite my hand
A curious reflex developed
The pain perhaps to snap back to reality
Or perhaps to give my anguish life
Jul 2015 · 280
7/27/15
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
I kissed her while grinning
She left my head spinning
My favorite kind of kiss
Jul 2015 · 723
7/24/15
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
I'd breathe water
If you found me poetic for it
Jul 2015 · 250
Definition #538
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
(n.)*: the length of silence elapsed after quietly saying, *"Please don't leave"
Jul 2015 · 168
7/21/15
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
She says, "Nothing's wrong"
As if she's trying to believe the lie, too
Jul 2015 · 310
Worth
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
She prefers silence to words
Redundant noises vibrating emptily like the buzzing wings of a gnat
Her quiet will shatter you like a bullet through a windowpane

But look at old photographs, see her beam
Look closely and you can see the sadness seeping through her smile
She's seen enough to know what's worth suffering for
And she knew you weren't worth the fight
Jul 2015 · 311
Self
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
Denigrating mind
An assailant of the self
Punishment of crime
Jul 2015 · 905
Eruptions
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
Transient eruptions of emotion
Volcanoes never meant for this earth
Jul 2015 · 563
7/12/15
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
"Don't give up on me," she wrote
As if that decision was ever mine to make
Jul 2015 · 373
Cared
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
Sure I miss your smile, your touch, your hair
But really, I just miss how you once *cared
Jul 2015 · 400
Epitaph
Michael Humbert Jul 2015
Every day a page is written in this outrageous book of life
It's distressing how distressed these pages are

It doesn't matter
So many stories are being written in parallel
Co-authors of love and destruction
******* and screaming

I would have created volumes with you
Libraries would have stood as monuments to us

But as it stands I'm just writing epitaphs to everything I've ever lost
And at what ******* cost
And it doesn't matter
It doesn't matter

It's all in my head
And there it will die
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