Some days, I smile and I don’t know why,
Other days, I sit and just let time slide by.
Coffee gets cold, texts go unread,
Thoughts spinning circles inside my head.

Some days, I win little fights with my doubt,
Other days, I barely crawl out.
But I breathe, I try, I take one more stride
And that, for today, is enough on my side.

you spoke of dreams,
moments not here,
but lingering just beyond reach.
i see you too—in flashes,
a laugh, a name i never fully said.

i close my eyes,
and there you are,
in the tremble of stars,
the flicker of streetlights,
the hum of midnight waves.

you linger like a soft melody,
always near,
but never enough.
a secret i kept in silence,
carried with every breath.

So it is done
we’re apart as we feared.
It is over, no more
and I drove us here.

I kept on continuing
along with the doubt
You told me it was trauma
and it would work out.

I loved you, and still do
but not enough
to imagine our future;
overcome this stuff.

Please break my heart
So I don't have to break yours
I'd rather feel all that pain
Than be the one to make you endure

Please break my heart
So I can leave yours intact
I'd rather be haunted
Than have to hear you react

Please break my heart
So I can live with my decision
I'd rather lose all my tears
Than have tears disrupt your vision

Please break my heart
So I'm not the one serving time
Id rather feel completely caged
Than be the one to commit this crime

Please break my heart
So I can make sure you're OK
I'd rather lose my voice
Than listen to all you might say

This request might seem odd
I ask for you to do the downing
But if we're both stuck in this storm together
I'd rather be the one drowning

Baring myself to you was no small feat
A childbearing body for a man to judge
The sun through the curtains highlighting my flaws
Clothes hit the floor, and I laid with you
Pulled the covers up to shield your view
You pulled them back down and gazed in my eyes
Placed your hand on my insecurity and kissed me
My mind has gone fuzzy, I can't believe we are here
You leaned back to prepare us, and gave me a view
Lord, help me I can't go falling for you
Gliding your thumb over my bud and through my lips
You pulled me up to meet you, your hands on my hips
I can't pretend I wasn't hoping we'd end up like this
I pulled you down to me, my face in your neck
Your scent is driving me crazy; I'm all kinds of wet
But you didn't get to feel it, we had our safety on
Feeling like a ***** I'm pulling you to me
You flipped me over and pressed at the center of me
I can't stop my mind from racing, I want you to enjoy this
Your hand has wrapped around me, and pulled me to your chest
I'm shocked by your strength, I'm no tiny thing
This protection is ruining it, I want to feel everything
Feeling bold down on my knees, kissing and licking
Your head fit in my throat like a crown designed for a king
I hear "That mouth is gold" high praise from a man who wears it
Our eyes keep meeting,  I'm starting to get nervous
You've got me feeling new to this and a little girlish
I've decided I have to feel you, every part of you
Call me insatiable, I've started to beg you
Just for a stroke or two so you can feel it, know what you do to me
Reaching between us I'm guiding you into me
You give me what I need, but you want something too
You pull me on top and urge me to ride you.
I want this, I want you, this feels so right
But you're looking in my eyes like you've seen my truth, my light
I'm feeling overwhelmed, do you even want me
I'm in my head instead of in this bed with you
I brought us here and now I'm leaving it up to you
You pulled me under you and raised my legs
What a great way to get me out of my head
When we finished, I peppered your face with kisses
I guess I should have known what this is
You pulled away from me and started to get dressed
A million thoughts I hadn't been able to sort through yet
You asked me who I'd thought of when I couldn't ride you
My mind was mush with you staring in my eyes and your **** raw inside too
So here is what I thought that day when we were joined as one
Your commands to give you me were so easily done
I would have squirted on every surface had you told me to ***
I would have milked you with every hole on my body
And I don't say this just to sound naughty
I would ride you like you belonged to me if I had the opportunity
I would worship your body if you were to give it to me
I would hold your stare the entire time
I would give you all of me as if you were mine
I would gladly throw it back for you if you would ask again
Until then baby, I'll just be your little friend