there is an earthquake
in my soul,
my heart falls to pieces-
to blackened dust
on your floor.
I'm sorry I've made such a
mess
out of my flesh and bones.

I know what I am
a ghost among living beings.
I ache and I beg but have
no tears left to spill.
I said nothing as you swept me out your door.
What's left of me belongs to the wind.

It rained tonight.
Did you know that it reminded me of you?
The sound of each drop hitting the pavement.
A simple reminder of the day I first saw your face
And the sweet "hello" I'll always remember.

It rained tonight.
The smell of wet pavement filled my room
And I could almost hear our footsteps in tandem
Walking through the winding city.

It rained tonight.
The concrete must've been cold
Like the pavement we sat on by the lake*
Where we watched the water bob and weave.
Where we smoked our cigarettes and just stared out.

*It rained tonight -
And hope it never stops.

If I give to you
what you've
given to me.
Then we
would be
millenniums
swallowed
in eternity.

To live forever
is nothing more
than a curse.
and to live forever
without you
would be
so much worse.

I kissed your best friend
Loved her like I would love you
She called my name like you do
She dug her nails in my back
Like I was a scratch pad
She did all the things you did
I don't know how she knew
All she did was whisper in my ear
The very sentence you screamed every night
I'm sorry I know you'd **** me if you ever found out
But I'm not going to run away with my tail tucked
I ****** your best friend like it was the end of the world
Like the sky was falling
Like I would make love to you
Still it was you I came to
Your face I saw as it all happened
No excuses I deserve whatever is coming
But if you only knew
Your best friend was always your reflection
Your shoulder to lean on
You'd always run into the bathroom after a fight
Talk to yourself for hours
Tell me you hated me
But rushed out before the words even pierced the door
Kissed me like it was forever ago before you had them
I'd never love anybody but you
And I'm glad I traced you on my mirror so you'll never disappear

in the dark

i sometimes feel

the cold sharp edge
of night's dagger

memories are bled

forgotten pain
is good to remember

the sound of cheney's voice
speaking of war
with his new bad heart.

r ~ 6/22/14