I've loved you since
We were in 7th grade,
And I'm a Sophomore now.
I havent been with you since January,
So for almost a year.
But my heart aches when I see you
And I think of all the possibilities
I could have with you again.
Your blond hair and brown eyes,
Crooked smile
And silly laugh.
Your forearms and your hands,
And I could openly admire
Your love for anything to do
With machines or mountains.
Ive loved you when you left me,
And when you ran away.
I have loved you since I was 12,
And I can't ever forget that day.
I have loved you for quite some time.
I can't imagine it being a youthful love,
When I'm not over you yet.

I so very badly
Wish to be
The sheets wrapped around your
Body, all night long.
I so very badly
Wish to be
The sunlight that kisses your
Skin, softly as the sun rises.
I so very badly
Wish to be
the stars that captivate your
Sight, long into the night.
I so very badly
Wish to be
The melody stuck in your
Head, before you go to bed.
I so very badly
Wish to be
Everything you need.
I so very badly
Wish you to be
Here, lying next to me.
I so very badly, wish to be.

And I did it.
I got an abortion.
I laid down that night and felt
My soft stomach.
Yesterday night,
Cells were multiplying
And they were becoming
Those little fingers and toes.
But I had to.
The women there were very supportive.
It's MY life.
MY choice.
MY baby.
But I'm going to miss
The feeling of love.
I turn around and lay on my side,
So I can't hold my lower belly.
That baby was my baby.
Now.... It isn't. It's gone.
It's dead. Was it even alive?
Did it have an heartbeat?
It soon would have.
And now I will never give birth to it,
Never hold it in my arms.
I can't watch them take their first step,
Or see their first smile or
Hear their first laugh or word.
I can't hold it when they cry,
Or pick out presents for their birthdays.
I'll never know that baby's
Personality,
I'll never be able to tuck it in at night
And sing it to sleep.
I can't check for monsters under their bed,
Or send them off to their
First day of school.
I can't see them at their last day.
I can't see them at their wedding.
Or hold their children.
Or bicker over wine with them.
No, those tiny little cells
Were mine. And my future.
And I took it away.
Now I'm **** sobbing,
Wishing of what could be.

your kiss is killing
and im left to die
with venom in my veins
and poison in my heart

You see life with eyes wide
And fear seems to find
A way around you
Because it never stops itself
In your path
And you laugh, like life isn’t so serious
Looking for positives
Looking at the people
And the wheel in your head spins
Because you want to fix
The evil that exists
You want to hold the hands
Of all the tired people
Lost, sad and dead
But you hold up your head
And I feel
Like
You
Will
Change
The world
Just by being yourself
You should be proud
That you are not anyone else
You are remarkable
Absolutely breathtaking
kind
my heart wishes to hold you
wishes you could find
something inside of me
that rings right with you
but either way
glad to say
I have known you

*******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. **** ME. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******. *******.*******. *******.