la vida es demasiado corta como para desperdiciarla en cosas estúpidas, vive la vida al máximo, no mires atrás porque no es a donde vas

its been 10 years ...
since the last time i saw you ...
we text ,
but its just not the same ....
you get to do all this **** with the fam in florida ,
while im up here in ohio missin out ....
its weird how we brothers and sisters
but we have different lives .....
we have the same dad but different moms ....
i wish i could see you and just give you a hug ....
i cant take it here no more ....
i just want my ******* brother ....
yeah i got 2 but i miss him ....
i love when we text tho bc ,
its like we havent been apart for 1 min and everything in the world just freezes and everything is forgotten ,
but when we stop texting it just all collapse on my shoulders ....
  i honestly cant wait till i turn 18 so i could say ,
'**** this im going to florida...'
but thats 2 years ....
(10 years in teenage time)
i miss you,
my loving
awesome
amazing
wonderful
big
brother
(by 2 years)

you talkin hella smack ,
like all you do is talk
and talk
and talk
and talk
and talk
and
t
a
l
k
like PULL UP ....
you is hella soft you aint gona do ****
'CaTcH mE oUtSiDe , HoW bOuT dAt'
you is ahhh p..u..s..s..y..
you walk by me and you talk ,
like lets hit
im ready to hit
you just scared ....
all you do is keep runnin yo mouth
instead of throwin yo hands ....
you lucky im gettin anywhere near you
cuh yo ***** smell like the ocean ....
like when you open yo legs you can see nemo poppin his head out....
'YoUr *** lOoKs LiKe TwO tUrTlE *******'
so ....
pull up ...
im ready to hit anytime any where ....
so when you decide to quit bein soft ,
you know where im at ....

bruh just stop acting like you care ,
ion need no one to tell me **** ,
i got
me
myself
and
i
thats all i need ....
so dont be actin like you actually care ...
but honestly you a good actor tho .
you know the saying
'FoOl Me OnCe ShAmE oN yOu, FoOl Me TwIcE sHaMe On mE, fOoL mE tHrEe TiMeS... iM ******* StUpId ....'
yeah welll so far the shame is on you ....
nd i or you aint changing that ....
so **** outta here if you tryna front that you want me ...
you stay perpin bout this **** ...

ight, so i aint tryna be those girls that always look for a complament ....
im being dead *** with this **** so ....

i look in the mirror ....
i think in my head ....
'i give up!'
i try and try ....
i really do ....
you made me feel some type of way ....
i really thought you could cuff me ....
we all good on Friday ,
you feelin all up on me ,
you huggin on me ,
you walkin me to my bus ....
now today tho ....
you actin all fake ....
you barely talkin to me ....
you keepin secrets ....
like **** outta here ....
why me tho ?
im so loyal ,
i stay by you no matter what ,
ion let no *** try and take you ....
but i got my hopes up ....
& you just killed em ....
like what is it about me no one likes ....
like all these hoes getting boys on their knees beggin for them
(mostly cuh they want their **** ****** ....)
but hey !
what bout me im
loyal
i stay by you
ion take you for granted
i give you hugs
i do all that ....
what dont people like bout me ?
am i not cute enough ....
am i not thic enough ....
is it cuz i wont **** yo **** ?
like bruh  ....
please tell me ....
i just want someone who wants me for me ....
someone who will stay by me ....
someone who would tell me i look good even when i look like a *** ....
someone who will show me off to their friends ....
and hype me up on the littlest things ....
ig thats just askin too much ....
mann i just give up tho ....

why me .
i try & try .
i keep putting this fake smile on my face .
i cant lie to myself or anyone else anymore .
everyone always told me,
'dOnT gIvE Up KeEp TrYiNg !'
but theres always a first for everything .
so this is my goodbye to trying .
'GOODBYE'
i officially dont give 2 flying ***** in the world anymore .











Bye ....

you hug me, you made me feel amazing ...

you walk me to my classes ...

you smile at me and make me feel special ...

i want you ...

hopefully ... just hopefully you like me too ...

my mom told me i get my hope up ...

and its true ...
i get them up and something has to go up and ruin it ...

so hopefully ...

just hopefully you commit to what im ready to commit to ...

so i heard you gotta girl...

but you said you like me ...

you say "ImYoUr FiRsT lOvE'....
**** outta here with that **** ...

so you broke up with her ....

oh wait now you another girl ...
OHHH shes in 8th ?!
But u a shophemore ... okay you 16 and she 13 ... okay ...

oh now you saw my text from like 3 months ago and you wanna break up with your middle schooler and get with me ?


OKAY !!!!




Face *** i aint datin you, you prolly got hella diseases ....

officially its been a year sense i was cuffed...

****..

people lead me on...
get my hopes up...
and tells me 'ThEy ArEnT ReAdY FoR a ReLaTiOnShIp'

ugh...

everyone is cuffed but me...

lol welp no dating for me anytime soon ....

Why do people say,
'LiFe Is LiKe A bOx Of ChOcOlAtEs YoU DoNt KnOw WhAt YoUr GoNnA gEt'

Like, obviously you gonna get a box of chocolate !!
Duhh its in the title !!

Why do people dont understand that ...

***** ...

Why is this date so important ?

Bc thats my birthday ...

YAY,
Getting older is sooooooo much fun ...

16 ?
is it just a nuber ?
Its even !
That should be good !

Who else is 16 ??
Prolly 20M other kids !!

What are friends ?

People who care about you ...

People who got your back no matter what ...

People you can trust ...

People who aren't fake & talk **** behind you back ?

Honestly ...
Can I have a friend like this ??

Like that would be amazing !!

The stuff you say,
Do you mean it ?

When you say you love me,
Do you mean it ?

When you say you care,
Do you mean it ?

Like fr fr be honest ...
I've learned to just deal with the pain and not to cry ...

How do I know if your being fr ?

How do I know if your being honest ?

Should I trust you ?
I want to ...

It feels like yesterday i was 6, & happy ...
Like i had no worries in life ...

But look at me now !!
Now Im ****** 16 ...

Im not ready for life !
I dont even wanna get older ...

But hey,
I guess thats just ******* life ...
You gotta deal with **** you dont want to deal with ...

Life is Life ...
Everyday you die a little more ...

School, no one really likes you...

We are just forced to go to you...

Im sorry, but you just make us do the same thing over and over...

And your classes are hard...

Yeah you give us a break but, the weekends are just two days, (three if we are lucky)

And the summer isnt even fully three months...

Plus you bring a lot of thots into the school, and those thots made me get into a lot of fights...

Going to you is just stressful...

Im sorry i mess everything up....

Im sorry im a waist of time....

Im sorry im a waist of space....

Im sorry i cant do anything right....

Im sorry i dont always have the greatest additude....

Im sorry i cant do stuff right....

IM....

SORRY....

I shouldnt have done what i did.

Im just a dumb teenager who doesnt know any better.

I hurt a lot of people i love,
and i didnt mean to.

Im sorry.

I didnt just hurt them,
i also hurt myself.

I just dont know how to tell you im sorry.

I hope you can forgive me...

I close my eyes.
I see your face.

I cant stop thinking about you.
I cant stop wanting you.

I see everyone cuffed up,
and it makes me jealous.

I always tell myself your not my first love,
because i didnt think i liked you that way.

But i cant help the fact that i want you.

I still regret the fact that i let you go.

But you keep coming back.

Your my first love,
and i'm finally proud to say it.