Sprawled out across his back.
Contouring the bean bag chair into something shapely beautiful.
Knees expelled in opposite directions,
Expelling my imagination into a furious sea of frenzy.
Silence.
Except for the constant clicking of the video-game controller.
The constant flicking of his fingers soon lead my imagination
Elsewhere.
The traffic-jam of words inside of me soon slip uncontrollably to thoughts
As I sit behind him.
My heat undecoded.
Legs crossed, just as a lady should.
Girls from all over must tell him he's beautiful.
But beauty in itself is a limitation.
I'm not sure if he is aware that he is beyond
The liberal definition.
I find myself soon forgetting the awkward of the situation,
Instead savoring the surreal reality of such a moment.
"Are you winning?" I shortly ask him, breaking the heavy incredible silence.
But I had to know.
He can miss as many goals as he likes. Laugh it off.
Because inside of me he's scoring.

Resonant alley beside a block of council flats
The bass booms from a car with three doors open
Four spliffs burning under flickering street lights
The British winter rains drench our hooded heads
(We plan the heist)
Deafened by the disenfranchised rapper from the speakers
Blinded by the darkness of the car and my peers
Balaclava, hoods up, gloves on, tools out, smoke out
Jump from the whip, vexed boys, looking for a payday
We move rocks by day but night time comes, we get shady

(Gunshots ring out, the bells of death
Never forget what you did
A life on the hands of a boy
Blood on the sheets as I cry myself to sleep)

Jump back in the ride, laughing with careless disregard
Count out the stacks and divide up the product
Pull up at the dole office and smash a few windows
Sirens fly by and give them the finger
Fast enough from the scene and we're back in the yard
Waking up the kids with the banging of the doors
Waking up the fiends as we dish out the draws

(It's a war out here and your people are dying
I killed a man today and felt nothing
Breed your soldiers and look the other way
Just another careless life that we lost today)

Fall into bed with my girl and some bud
Burn it all down to keep the insomnia at bay
I tell her I need to get out the game some day
She tells me she wants a new handbag today

(The rain never ceases and the kids wake in tears
Every day on the road, is a day full of fears
There's no real reason for any of us to be here)

the heart aches
like
earthquakes.

today
i allowed myself to feel
heartbreak
one very last time for you.

the sun was settling,
silhouetting the city

it felt like
the burial site of massacred dreams.

When the gold diaper you were born into fits so snug,
The other’s made of ******* deteriorate with the slightest tug.
The golden boy’s stomach never left un-full;
While the rest sit on sidewalks starving, prospects looking dull.
He sits with his polo and designer jeans;
With others' clothing tearing at the seams.
Playgrounds built on dreams and possibilities,
Compared to the inner cities garnished with crime, drugs, and thieves.
Rolex on the wrist, with the push to start, and pockets full of possibilities;
The majority sit only wearing a smile with hopes to finish paying off life’s fees.
The cake walk to the finish line leaves the greedy with a foggy windshield,
While the rest have a clear view of the broken path compared to the grassy field.
The purchased view of the skyline, reflecting discrepancies with few up top and the rest below,
The ants down below look up at the windows shining like stars, a present wrapped in a bow.

i love the sea because
she is honest.
when she is angry,
she's wild:
waves of emotion carelessly tossing
boats and sailors around as
a warning not to mess with her.
but when it's quiet
and everything is still,
she is so calm and
so beautiful that
it's hard not to fall in love
with the sound of her waves
gingerly kissing the shore.

in a way, i consider you
to be my own personal sea.
you pull people into you,
only to push them away and
you have so much depth that
nobody has ever really seen.
but i have dived down deep enough
to learn that you cry during
most disney movies and that you
like the smell of my perfume and
it's hard not to fall in love
with the way your lips feel
against mine.

I'm glad I'll drive your next girl insane
With my phantom kisses that
May or may not have left stains on your brain.

Because you see, as perfect as she will be,
I **** red lipstick and trilbies and kohl
And it's rare in a woman to be able to watch Top Gear
Without thinking of safety hazards, and seatbelts.

I hope she knows that however loose she wears her hair,
She'll never be as wild as me.
And as cool as she sounds,
I have a bite like a kiwi,
And I always leave an after taste that isn't strawberry and sugar.

So yeah, she's suave and calm and collected, and that is **** fine,
I'll give her that.
But I'm sarcastic.

And I call you out when you become too boring,
Like for instance,
Not making me mad at you at least once a day
For making me think about things that I would like to just blitz over
As I do with many other things
Like the people who loved us.

Because all we needed was each other.

And although she pouts,
I smirk.
She has big eyes, but mine are of lynxes.

I'm your own personal minx.

And she knows I'll always be wrapped around your neck.
And however close she gets to you
I'm always right beside you, inside you
Every breath she takes,
Every mistake in love you make.

getting day-drunk and
wallowing in self-loathing,
not only
welcomed
but
encouraged
(and more importantly-
                                         expected).

Conversation minefields,
to navigate
with only
the utmost care.
Talk about the weather
and whether
                       or not
"the game" will go the way you want,
the sitcom situation will reach resolution,
the recipe could use some almonds,
or cumin-
                     (or *****).

But avoid the specifics
at all costs.
Just remember:
School is
                "good."
                              Work is
                                             "busy."
                                                         Your husband/wife/bf/gf/partner/cat/landlord is
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                      "great."
                                                        ­
                                                                ­             You are
                                                                ­                "fine."
Just remember:
Today you are not
                                overwhelmed.
Your personal life is definitely not
                                                             in shambles.
Your financial situation is completely in order and not
                                                             ­                                   inadequate or
                                                              ­                                            hopeless or
                                                              ­                                                   causing insurmountable stress.
  Today,
                                                ­                             You are
                                                                ­                "fine."
So
laugh politely,
accept the guilt-trips,
roll your eyes only when they look away.
Know
they mean well.
                            (or at least pretend they do)
Reminisce and
overeat and
don't apologize.
Fight and bicker and debate.
Cheat at cards
(but don't get caught!)
and accept each other's flaws.

No matter what,
just remember what
is ultimately important-
Despite the criticism,
                                    the misunderstanding,
                                               ­                            the generation gaps,
                                                           ­                                                    the dysfunction,
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                      the disappointment,
                                                 ­                                          the unrealistic expectations,
                                                   ­              the heartbreak,
                                    the competition,
             the confusion,    
the pain.    
To have a family (no matter what form)
guarantees
you have a place you belong.
The place can be uncomfortable,
and small,
and unbelievably hard to find
and a nightmare to maintain
but it is yours,
so be grateful.

And revel in the strange and difficult and wonderful love only a family can offer.

The most powerful thing in the world isn't a thing.
It's the feeling when

You're on top of a man, and

His eyeballs start to roll back into their sockets, and
There is a moment.
There is a moment when his
Soul
Rockets
Spell-bounding lengths away from his ties,
Drifting amidst the stellar pockets glistening blissfully amongst the skies of your
Galaxy.

Listening

A heavy
Fluency of
Fantasy,
A mystical entrancing fascinating wonderful wondrous moment
and you
Capture
The thunderous entirety of his
Control.
You behold
The entirety of his control.
On top of this man,
On top of the world;
I can see
The universe.
The universe is all powerful.
Most powerful.

Powerful:
-the adjective for;
Having great
Power
Or
Strength.