the alarm goes off
I'm fighting a war in bed
it's against myself

restless, these long nights
looking for you in the stars
found you — I found rest

enter through the same
door he walked out of — that is
how
          you find
                           my heart

hey kid, listen — don't
leave the womb, don't open your
eyes — they'll make you cry

quickly does the road
get stained by the rain that fell
fast from somewhere else

boy ran to the fields
his brother rose to meet him
finally, they're home

when I say don't stop
I'm pleading more to myself
than I am to you

    don't stop giving in
   'til the shape of your back is
    the shape of his palms

   don't stop yielding up
    'til your secrets liquefy
   into his whiskey

   don't stop submitting
   'til you see the skin under
   his chin sleek and flushed

we were fortunate
to share each millisecond
in each other's lives

head on my chest, I
trace his curves with my fingers
like a book in ⠃⠗⠁⠊⠇⠇⠑‎

the cold wind whispers
there's nothing left for you here
so I struck a match

someone's calling me
I look around thinking — did
I forgot to pay?

kung pagod ka na
'di kailangang umalis
— magpahinga ka

don't ask me to stop
we've been loving, and hurting
so long, it's the same

remember, he who
turned the light on had to look
for it in the dark

the night — swift and loud
crying of the long day's sun
about the full moon

of GRAVITATION —
I want you near just as much
as you want me close

endless summer day
hoping by the end of it
you'll come home to me

if you don't believe
in love at first sight then how
about now, baby

they say it's all in
my head — why do I feel it
in my LIMBS and CHEST

right hand seeks the lamp
left arm — numb with you in it
I wake up alone

dough in the oven
and a lover with their past
— these things won't rise if
you keep opening it up
digging it, calling them out

the real sin is not
in two men in love but in
choosing to hate love

I can't tell him
he's beautiful
— because then
       he'll know
         why
           he's beautiful
             to me

sleep came with a dream
heard a kid's laughter — wondered
was it mine, or my

words scatter like wind
and hover above my head
in a nameless cloud

it started with his
voice — deep — then it was his eyes
when he smiled — honest

peal my layers off
eat me up and spit me out
plant me — I'm a seed

I keep wanting you
and aching afterward — yet
I keep
            coming
                           back

what does it mean when
the time they used to give free—
ly, we beg for now?

I was up, thinking
were you ever woken by
                    rain, at 2 am?
then I wished I was there to
feel your arms wrapped around me

bamboos sway and bend
in the moon's last summer light
we say our goodbyes
                                  門
                            ­      さ
                                  よ
                     ­             う
                                  な
              ­                    ら

bridges look best when
you're in the water — best crossed
                             when with a lover

seated, my back rests
but calm deserted me when
you pressed my shoulders

sarcasm demands
shared intimate history
for it to make sense

it will all make sense
you can't tell that to someone
who is hurting NOW‎

you're the summer months
I spent in Grandma's house — moves
infinity slow

I take this ring, a
sign of my folly — so I
can pretend I'm yours

you came to take your
stuff — you can take everything
just take me with you

talking in the dark
speaking only with our hands
I found warmth and light

the PARABLE of
the ALL-NIGHTER: "is sleep just . . ."

a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT

now I know my type
— I keep falling for someone
who won't jᵘmp with me

they say looks can ****
but why does mine want you stripped
warm — and on my bed

when people feel trapped
sometimes they're the prisoner
sometimes they're the cell

I have yet
to understand
what it's like
to have
had touched
and tasted fire —
raging

to have
had melted
from a warmth
given off
by a source
other than
my own

and to have
been molded
into the image
and likeness
of a space
I didn't
create

I have yet
to gain
the CONFIDENCE
to cast fire
that comes with
having had
tasted you

slow mornings are for
taking his time to hold me
like a lazy cat

I hear rain coming
like heavy footfalls of my
favorite person

how many mails left
on read are too many — to
consider stoping?

you ought to be hanged
for the way you stare — gold-framed
in a museum

no one told me that
aching for someone, for love
would be this painful